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  • 1 Post By DirectIsBest
  • 1 Post By Mr. Assertive

Thread: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

  1. #1
    Tow
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    Exclamation Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Today I received the cheque for waiting two years! I have posted about her several times I think (especially in 2013 and some in 2014). There was this girl in my college, we banterd, we teased each other. After a year or so she regularily craved for my attention like clicking with her pen until I would turn my head to her because I hated that, or bragging to me about her sky diving class with a picture etc. You get my point. That's when I was sure to ask her out on a boat tour at the lake and a movie about the minions, because she really likes them. She always had proveable excuses, so it was no big deal but doubts raised. If she would be romantically/sexually attractive she would go with me no matter what. And now half an hour ago, this girl I thought I had atleast something got into a relationship. I don't hate her, I don't hate him...but I am just asking the experts here: How do I avoid this situations. I know, I should not have waited, but I mean more in detail: How do you categorize attention craving? Wouldn't that be a massive IOI? She never came to me crying, or I to her, so I don't know if it was real friendzone. She cared for me, yes, like motivating me to study one time as she heard from a failed exam of mine. My message to fellow chodes: DO NOT HASITATE or you will end like me in this situation.

    MAIN POINT: How and what else can I learn from this situation and what do you think was her craving for my attention (she didn't do it to any of the other students)


    PS: Because I feared something like that I got into online game too, you see the post in the right section, THIS IS NOT THE SAME GIRL!!!!!!

    PPS: Please give your most honest feedback, I need it as you see

  2. #2
    FromBoyToMan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Quote Originally Posted by Tow View Post
    Today I received the cheque for waiting two years! I have posted about her several times I think (especially in 2013 and some in 2014). There was this girl in my college, we banterd, we teased each other. After a year or so she regularily craved for my attention like clicking with her pen until I would turn my head to her because I hated that, or bragging to me about her sky diving class with a picture etc. You get my point. That's when I was sure to ask her out on a boat tour at the lake and a movie about the minions, because she really likes them. She always had proveable excuses, so it was no big deal but doubts raised. If she would be romantically/sexually attractive she would go with me no matter what. And now half an hour ago, this girl I thought I had atleast something got into a relationship. I don't hate her, I don't hate him...but I am just asking the experts here: How do I avoid this situations. I know, I should not have waited, but I mean more in detail: How do you categorize attention craving? Wouldn't that be a massive IOI? She never came to me crying, or I to her, so I don't know if it was real friendzone. She cared for me, yes, like motivating me to study one time as she heard from a failed exam of mine. My message to fellow chodes: DO NOT HASITATE or you will end like me in this situation.

    MAIN POINT: How and what else can I learn from this situation and what do you think was her craving for my attention (she didn't do it to any of the other students)


    PS: Because I feared something like that I got into online game too, you see the post in the right section, THIS IS NOT THE SAME GIRL!!!!!!

    PPS: Please give your most honest feedback, I need it as you see

    Taking full advice from you (: Im sadly in the same situation!
    do you think youd try again if she got out of the relationship?

  3. #3
    Tow
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    I really cannot say. I just have to see. And now it would be nice to hear comments from our veterans on here^^

  4. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    You already know what you did wrong with the first girl, you hesitated. So many guys lose women because they hesitate when they see obvious signs of attraction. When a girl shows you that she likes you, she expects you to pick up on those signs and make a move. If you don't, she views you as not being confident OR that you rejected her. Allot of beautiful women think they get rejected all the time, when in fact, the guy just didn't pick up on the signs or didn't make a move.

    The new girl was just dating multiple guys. She either liked this other guy more, had spent more time with him, or he fit into her schedule better. It happens. It might not have been anything you did. I was seeing this girl I've known for 12 years recently. She admitted that she liked me the whole time she's known me. We started something but I was across the country for a month, and soon after I got back, she moved in with some dude. I come to find out that this guy is a sociopath that's been working her over for two years. He brainwashed her and took advantage of her when she was vulnerable. He now has her in a pyramid scheme (MLM company, the leading cult experts in the world agree they are basically cults).

    This girl liked me ALLOT. I got all of the signs from her. She constantly had extremely dilated pupils around me but there was always this invisible barrier I could feel. It turned out to be this sociopath brainwashing her. He got her to quit her job, move in with him, and he now controls her housing, food, money, and transportation. I know this is an extreme example but it happens more then you care to believe. The point being is this; Sometimes you do everything right and it's just out of your control.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to DirectIsBest For This Useful Post:

    Tow (09-16-2015)

  6. #5
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Directisbest summed it up. I thought I would throw in my 2cents. I have noticed that I tend to send girls into auto rejection. Especially if I am already dating one girl more seriously than the rest... i make them chase to the point that they are like fuck this guy, working too hard... So OP, if you ever find yourself stringing the girl along to the point where she is inviting herself over or hinting she wants to meetup or you are deciding, maybe I should make her wait more...please strike when the iron is hot. Or else, she will close her legs to you forever.

    Then there could be times that she has other things going on and she can't be with you because of said reason. Last crush I had was moving to Iowa in like 3 months. She still sent her IoI's my way but that didn't stop me from striking when the iron was hot. Or there could be a crazy guy in the mix like Directisbest said. My current girl has a high sex drive and she told me she didn't have sex for nine months at one time. She just wasn't into the dating phase at the time....like I said, depends on the chick and whatever shit she is going through. But your job is to find out if it is your time with her or not.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Mr. Assertive For This Useful Post:

    Tow (09-16-2015)

  8. #6
    Tow
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    You already know what you did wrong with the first girl, you hesitated. So many guys lose women because they hesitate when they see obvious signs of attraction. When a girl shows you that she likes you, she expects you to pick up on those signs and make a move. If you don't, she views you as not being confident OR that you rejected her. Allot of beautiful women think they get rejected all the time, when in fact, the guy just didn't pick up on the signs or didn't make a move.

    The new girl was just dating multiple guys. She either liked this other guy more, had spent more time with him, or he fit into her schedule better. It happens. It might not have been anything you did. I was seeing this girl I've known for 12 years recently. She admitted that she liked me the whole time she's known me. We started something but I was across the country for a month, and soon after I got back, she moved in with some dude. I come to find out that this guy is a sociopath that's been working her over for two years. He brainwashed her and took advantage of her when she was vulnerable. He now has her in a pyramid scheme (MLM company, the leading cult experts in the world agree they are basically cults).

    This girl liked me ALLOT. I got all of the signs from her. She constantly had extremely dilated pupils around me but there was always this invisible barrier I could feel. It turned out to be this sociopath brainwashing her. He got her to quit her job, move in with him, and he now controls her housing, food, money, and transportation. I know this is an extreme example but it happens more then you care to believe. The point being is this; Sometimes you do everything right and it's just out of your control.
    You may have misunderstood: "this is not the same girl" was ment to tell you that the thread in the online game forum has nothing to do with that. The "new girl" as you say is that one I hasitated with for two years. I got her alone a few times after going out with the whole class from college while going to our cars, but I had the fear I would destroy something and the time was not right to kiss or anything (because no chances of kino before for example). That's where I think I fucked up thinking about it. That might has given her the feeling of rejection/me not being confident.

    But thank you for your insight.

    Now to cover yours and that from MrAssertive: Thank you for your insights, but neither of you seem to have answered my really burning questions I cannot wrap my head around, because I thought they where definite signs of attraction, not just IOIs:

    "After a year or so she regularily craved for my attention like clicking with her pen until I would turn my head to her because I hated that, or bragging to me about her sky diving class with a picture etc." What I forgot to add is, that two times I was out with friends (just guys!) and and she could not bare that I didn't acknowledge her presence.

    How do I categorize this? Do I just asume as signs of attraction? Or are those just general signs that she likes me, but not real attraction? I do not want to go without learning from this. One thing is to not hasitate, yes, but how do I not get naive like thinking everything is attraction and she is just kind to me? AND when do I know that it is the right time to escalate or how do I signal sexual intent right?

    Since I may have to work with her the last year of my bachelor studies, I assumed I will not change my behavior like intentionally ignoring her or blocking her because that didn't seem "alpha" but more butthurt. The chat went like:

    I sent her a picture of a coke bottle the vending machine popped out in college with the text "share a kiss with [her name]" and wrote the text: "Hey [her name], you could just have asked nicely. You didn't have to hide this bottle in de vending machine D"
    Her immediate answer was: "Boy do you already have classes :O"
    Me a few minutes later: "No, I was just showing college to my sister because it was her first day. After buying the bottel I went right home, because I have to study for friday"
    Her after eight minutes: "Oooh I was worried already :O college on Monday is stupid! What is she going to study? You can do this! But not that bad like the first time "
    Me hours later because I was studying and I didn't really care that much anymore:
    "She will take [name of studies]. Yeah Mum "
    Her the next day, I guess because she was busy with her new boyfriend, duh:
    "Not bad *monkey emoticon which covers his eyes*. HAHA"

    The conversation was as I told to show her that she has not to fear that anything is awkward, I was adviced to this by a girl friend. I am not hoping to get anywhere with her and of course will focus on going out and online game of course, but PLEASE answer my questions because that was one of the reasons I felt I have to post

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND EFFORT

  9. #7
    Tow
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    push

    ******************** ******************** *******************

  10. #8
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Quote Originally Posted by Tow View Post
    Today I received the cheque for waiting two years! I have posted about her several times I think (especially in 2013 and some in 2014). There was this girl in my college, we banterd, we teased each other. After a year or so she regularily craved for my attention like clicking with her pen until I would turn my head to her because I hated that, or bragging to me about her sky diving class with a picture etc. You get my point. That's when I was sure to ask her out on a boat tour at the lake and a movie about the minions, because she really likes them. She always had proveable excuses, so it was no big deal but doubts raised. If she would be romantically/sexually attractive she would go with me no matter what. And now half an hour ago, this girl I thought I had atleast something got into a relationship. I don't hate her, I don't hate him...but I am just asking the experts here: How do I avoid this situations. I know, I should not have waited, but I mean more in detail: How do you categorize attention craving? Wouldn't that be a massive IOI? She never came to me crying, or I to her, so I don't know if it was real friendzone. She cared for me, yes, like motivating me to study one time as she heard from a failed exam of mine. My message to fellow chodes: DO NOT HASITATE or you will end like me in this situation.

    MAIN POINT: How and what else can I learn from this situation and what do you think was her craving for my attention (she didn't do it to any of the other students)


    PS: Because I feared something like that I got into online game too, you see the post in the right section, THIS IS NOT THE SAME GIRL!!!!!!

    PPS: Please give your most honest feedback, I need it as you see
    I dunno man girls really don't interest me that much. I broke up with a 9, ignored a 10, and pretty much put every chick on delete cuz I can. Girls sorta interest me but game is what really interests me. I'm outta the game cuz some stuff went down due to an alcohol related violation so really I'm more interested in my phases in self-improvement and my persona. I'm beating them off with a stick the better I become. When I wanna get chicks I will. But I will do it before I get too old. I don't really attach value to interactions but I do to results and improving myself. In not being outcome dependent I am outcome dependent. I need a good outcome even if I go home alone w/numbers, make outs, compliments, etc. I dunno think I am just going to party more and make the chicks more of an addition or side-project. I still won't get sloppy in my game though, heck no.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  11. #9
    Tow
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    Default Re: Fellow chodes -> DO NOT HASITATE

    Quote Originally Posted by JackSarge View Post
    I dunno man girls really don't interest me that much. I broke up with a 9, ignored a 10, and pretty much put every chick on delete cuz I can. Girls sorta interest me but game is what really interests me. I'm outta the game cuz some stuff went down due to an alcohol related violation so really I'm more interested in my phases in self-improvement and my persona. I'm beating them off with a stick the better I become. When I wanna get chicks I will. But I will do it before I get too old. I don't really attach value to interactions but I do to results and improving myself. In not being outcome dependent I am outcome dependent. I need a good outcome even if I go home alone w/numbers, make outs, compliments, etc. I dunno think I am just going to party more and make the chicks more of an addition or side-project. I still won't get sloppy in my game though, heck no.
    I simply cannot express how not helpful this is. It just reads like a dump of how not interested you are in girls...


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