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  1. #1
    Natino is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to turn this into friends with benefits?

    Hi all, looking for some expert advice.

    So here's the situation:

    First met this girl a couple years ago. Hooked up a couple times when drunk despite her having a bf. Eventually broke them up and started acting more or less like a couple for a few months (holding hands, kissing on the lips goodbye), although with her hinting the whole time that she's not keen on a relationship.

    Anyway last week things came to a head. I wanted a relationship, she said she wanted to be friends. We basically agreed to be just friends, but she said she's still emotional about how it all went down and needed some time to herself. Haven't spoken since.

    So where do we go from here? She threw around the word 'platonic'. I'm thinking 'no thanks'.

    A few things:
    - she's a virgin
    - she's not sexually forward and shows no motivation to do anything more than think about/talk about sex
    - the furthest we've gone is when she came to my place and took her top off (although she said she told herself she wouldn't take her clothes off on that occasion)
    - she thinks talking about sex all the time takes away from us conversing
    - I've had trouble getting her to send nude selfies. She's done it once or twice but been less receptive recently
    - she seems reticent to invite me to her place
    - BUT she clearly finds the concept of sex fascinating and it'll be rare to have a night out with her where we don't have a fun conversation about it
    - when she's drunk she says she's 'addicted' to kissing me and to my body
    - she's constantly inadvertently staring at my lips, which she admits is because she's often thinking about kissing me
    - she's said on several occasions her ideal situation is friends with benefits

    So what do you guys reckon? I realise sex with this girl is gonna be almost impossible, but everything up to that point is surely achievable, even if a big challenge? How can I get her dripping wet to the point of wanting to come back to my place? And how can I get her to send a few more selfies?

    I'm assuming the first thing I need to do is show her that even if we're just friends, it doesn't mean we can't have fun with each other. I.e. I need to break the friends barrier by kissing her and telling her that kissing has nothing to do with a relationship, just attraction.

    Really appreciate any guidance!

    Thanks all,

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: How to turn this into friends with benefits?

    my advice would be to kino escalate if you want to get her more aroused. I once was seeing a girl who had a bf (they were on the edge of breaking up) although it was never my intention to catch feelings for her - my emotions got the better of me, we did nothing similar to sex but one time she got so aroused she said she said that it's too much for her even thought all I did was passionately kiss her neck, I pulled away and noticed that she enjoyed it to the point where she tried to hide her face with her hands in shame and telling me afterwards that that actually even got her wet. Other things that have worked for me a lot when making a woman who is attracted to you to fall head over heels are pushing&pulling, acting as if "you're not that easy", pulling away first when you're making out, but to this day my absolute favorite -building as much tension as possible and waiting for the big BANG (kino escalating, through verbal conversations yet trying not to kiss for as long as possible) the more tension you build - the better. She's obviously not going to have sex with you very easily, try to figure out what's holding her back (examples - she thinks you just want her for sex, she's afraid of STD's, she thinks you won't be discrete) and work on that, play your cards right - you'll get what you want, I don't have any solid advice for HOW you should make her your f... buddy without actually doing the "deed" first, so my sincerest apologies

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