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  • 1 Post By drgnsfire12

Thread: Game problems, need your opinion

  1. #1
    flyingwhale is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Game problems, need your opinion

    I (used to) think about myself as a natural. Meaning this: I feel most comfortable getting physically near a girl/woman, I have really good eye contact and I love creating that sexual tensionÖ suppose itís something I developed since I was a child. I always felt I can connect physically/emotionally very easy to a woman, I like dancing a lot and thatís one of the ways I do it, butÖ

    My problem is that apart from the low-key, non-verbal communication, I seem to lack something. I canít do this connection over a conversation, if I talk to a woman I seem not to be able to connect my low-key part, my feelings, into it. It seems to quickly become a big turn-off for her and I feel like a fool, very frustrated. I feel like I just missed some detail and I turned her off. If I dance with her it is so easy, I just know how to touch, how to move, it always seemed so easy to meÖ

    I am an artist, Iíve been brought up in a very liberal environment, although I was always a bit of an introvert, not necessarily shy. In highschool, although I was a goofy looking geek, I donít know how, but I managed to attract the most beautiful and desired girls in the schoolÖ I was a complete dork but they were drawn to me and were the ones making the first move. I figured it must have been my confident eye contact and the fact that I was able to express my emotions very strong through anything else but words i.e. body language, dancing etc.

    So I donít really know what to do. It seems very frustrating. Like I can kiss-close a girl on the dancing ring without even talking to her, and if I meet a girl, most of the time I give a powerful first-impression but to me it seems that me trying to make conversation ruins everything. Of course it's not a disaster and a complete turn-off every time but I feel like it's a blunder, I'd like to be in control and realize what I do wrong.

    Itís really frustrating. What can/should I do?

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Game problems, need your opinion

    So what is the big difference between your dancing and your conversational skills ????
    CONFIDENCE ...... it's interesting ..... you can kiss close on the dance floor without saying a word, that's because on the dance floor you are comfortable, at ease, and doing your thing ........SO WORK ON YOUR CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS UNTIL YOU ARE COMFORTABLE ........ go out and talk to people on the street ,it doesn't have to be girls, talk to anybody, it doesn't matter..... just practice having conversations ..... GL
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  3. #3
    flyingwhale is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Game problems, need your opinion

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    So what is the big difference between your dancing and your conversational skills ????
    CONFIDENCE ...... it's interesting ..... you can kiss close on the dance floor without saying a word, that's because on the dance floor you are comfortable, at ease, and doing your thing ........SO WORK ON YOUR CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS UNTIL YOU ARE COMFORTABLE ........ go out and talk to people on the street ,it doesn't have to be girls, talk to anybody, it doesn't matter..... just practice having conversations ..... GL
    the problem is not that I can't have a good conversation. I'm very good at conversations, I am very comfortable talking with pretty much anyone. The problem isn't this.

    When I'm with a girl I feel there is a moment when you have to switch from an entertaining, passionate conversation to something else, I don't know, something a bit more intimate. There is a point in the conversation when I kinda get lost, I feel the interest and attraction slipping away, so I figured there is something that I do or I don't do at a certain moment that kills the attraction. I was thinking perhaps I enjoy talking about a certain thing too much and I get a bit self-absorbed, anyways, I can't figure this out.

    Like there was this Dutch girl I met last week, she seemed very into me, we went to a bar together with other friends, she was giving me lots of IOIs, we went to another table to be separate from the others, but at some point it seems she just lost interest... I wanted to take her to a dance but I just wanted to see if I can do this without dancing...

  4. #4
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Game problems, need your opinion

    I've been in your situation before. I think you're having a very normal dry conversation that in 2 hours no one of you will remember anything about it. This normal conversation will work with friends where you can talk about random things and have fun. But on DATE, it's different. you need to make the conversation memorable and link it to both you and the girl.

    for example:
    I want to travel to paris ?
    a friendzoned response would be: I like to travel to france too / I like to travel to x/ Why do you like spain?
    an interesting response would be: alright I guess OUR next destination will be Paris. WE'll go to the effel tower and we'll have that french kiss that all magazines will talk about

    I know this was shitty example, but did you notice the difference at least?

    also, I followed some flirt pages on instagram, that taught me how to be/ or say chessy things.


    for example, a girl told me on a date:....open the umbrella, the rain is coming.
    a frinedzoned response would be: "alright let me open it".
    a non-friendzoned response was "pfftt I would rather keep close and give you a long lasting kiss under the rain (then kiss her)

    very chessy, but I don't know it works for me

    another thing, is body language such as eye contact, and TOUCHING, HOLDING HANDS, making the distance between you and her VERY very close. That's also important.

    I hope this helps

  5. #5
    flyingwhale is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Game problems, need your opinion

    Oh thanx!

    Yeah, I think what you said about giving some cheesy remarks/answers is what I need. On a date you don't need a debate on the political implications of psychedelic drugs for puppies, you need to make an excuse to get nearer and physical


    Quote Originally Posted by fredyyy View Post
    another thing, is body language such as eye contact, and TOUCHING, HOLDING HANDS, making the distance between you and her VERY very close. That's also important.
    Here you're right, only this has to go together with a flirty conversation. Which I do, also from instinct, if I like a girl. Only the problem is I think I don't build enough steam for the escalation, or I just miss the moment when I should do something, like isolate her. That Dutch girl was totally into me but a while after that night I realized I missed the moment when I should've isolate her, take her out of that bar or smthng...

    Now I kinda have an idea about my situation. Until now it used to be a blunder, sometimes I would do the right thing without even noticing it, but most of the time I'd fail.


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