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  1. #1
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this story

    so I went on a great 1st date with a very pretty girl, everything was going great, we laughed, we danced, we kissed, we flirted with each other. Then we decided to go on a second date.

    I picked her up and we went to a bar, and again everything was great, she was even kissing me more passionately and longer than what I wanted. she also brought me a gift. we finished, I drove her back to her house, we kissed in the car and flirted with each other. then I walked her to beside her house. I thought this was a great opportunity to push things forward and see what happens (she lives by herself, while I don't have my own place, and my car is small so I couldn't do anything more inside the car).

    Me: I heard business women make great hot tea at night
    Her: I don't make good tea
    Me: what are you good at.....beside kissing? (I grab her and kiss her again)
    Me: didn't you want to show me the cool stuff you told me earlier in your house
    Her: hmm not today....
    Me: it's ok well have a good night then...I felt she was a little bit pissed at me when she walked to her door.

    The next day, I texted her saying thank you for the gift she brought to me, but she didn't even respond, she usually does with few minutes)

    my question is:
    1) what should I do now? I'm thinking to wait couple days then send her another text and see what's up. (honestly, I feel she won't respond back)
    2) I admit I was a little pushy to invite myself over, but I had a previous experience where I didn't try to move things forward when everything was going great and I ended up friendzoned.
    3) should I have waited more dates before I make a move) I'm really confused and I would really appreciate an advice.

    Thank you in advance

  2. #2
    RenaissanceManinNJ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this st

    She definitely is into you, as you know.

    Why she had that LMR - she could've been on the rag, or maybe she has a firm "rule" about how many dates to sex. Who knows.

    I think where you failed was bouncing like you did, after your two attempts to get in the door didn't work. They were a bit clumsy and obvious, and after they both apparently failed, bailing out kind of implied that you only were sticking around because you expected to get laid.

    I think you were good about making the move - just make a more graceful exit in the future. Walk her to her door, go in for the goodnight kiss, then whisper, "I'm going to see you again. Better bring your kissing A-game." or some shit like that.

    If you want to try to salvage this, I would give her a call today and essentially call out what you did wrong. "Sorry I was so pushy, I guess I got mixed signals. Listen, you're a really cool girl and I'd still want to hang out with you, even if I wasn't trying to fuck you. What are you doing Friday?"

  3. #3
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this st

    First thank you very much for the awesome response!!! I definitely learned my lesson for the future, and I hope others will learn from this. As for now:

    "Sorry I was so pushy, I guess I got mixed signals. Listen, you're a really cool girl and I'd still want to hang out with you, even if I wasn't trying to fuck you. What are you doing Friday?"

    This is definitely GREAT, if I can talk to her on the phone I can definitely try to save the situation, but from my experience, girls won't respond to a call in this case. I would leave her a voice message saying what you told me, but what if she wasn't
    mad at all and I was just assuming she's mad I sent (even though I really think she is), so leaving such a message would come too strong?

    I'm thinking about 3 options either:
    1- how about I give her a call. if she didn't respond leave her a casual voice message like how are you doing and such. if she still didn't respond, I send her the text you told me about (this might make me come across as too needy though)

    2- other option, call her today if she didn't respond, I send her a text saying "did I upset you in anyway? I apologize if I did. **Don't blame it on me...blame it on the nighttt**" this is serious/funny text and in case she wasn't mad, I can still salvage myself since my text is not very strict about a certain event, and indeed if she was mad, she might accept my apologies.

    what do you think?
    Thank you again

  4. #4
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this st

    also, is there a better way of saying this: "Sorry I was so pushy, I guess I got mixed signals. Listen, you're a really cool girl and I'd still want to hang out with you, even if I wasn't trying to fuck you. What are you doing Friday?" lol

  5. #5
    RenaissanceManinNJ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this st

    If you get a voice mail, leave a cryptic - "Call me."

    If she picks up, try what I suggested.

    If you want a less offensive way of saying it, but indicating you're still interested in her sexually, maybe say, "Got plans for Friday? Netflix and chill at your place?"

  6. #6
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: failed escalation..advice is needed to make everyone learn from this st

    thanks man I appreciate your help!!


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