Okay. Heres the situation. I would really appreciate some guidance on how to proceed.
I met my girlfriend at new years this year. After going for dinner, and taking her back to my place, we were kissing and i put my hand on her butt. she explains her religious beliefs. I respect and carry on pushing the boundaries. 3 dates later we had sex. I just kept saying to her that I wouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable with. She eventually caved in and we had sex. I also had to do a lot of freeze outs and so on. over the time we were together in this month and half she was very giving sexually. even giving me a BJ as i took her to the airport.
She wants to have sex just as much as I do, she just needed to feel like i was worth having it with. Which at the time i was. We had a great relationship for a month and a half before she went home to brazil (long story)
Fast forward a couple of months being apart, and things start to slowly die down. her family have been asking if we have been having sex, and she starts showing regret blah blah blah, testing me. and she tells me this, probably to see how i will react.
Fast forward 5 months apart, and after her visa being refused, i am in brazil for a month. even after her saying we wouldn't have sex until marriage, there we are having sex on Day 1. There were no problems with us having sex when we could even with family all around us. I ended up getting us 3 days away to Rio so we could literally do it for three days straight.
The night before we leave, she comes into the bedroom in her mums house, and is crying, because her mum has asked her if she was going to Rio just to have sex. (her mum isn't stupid)
I did the stupid thing here and said i would try to not do it until we got married. her emotions and my guilt put me off my game.
So we get to Rio, we are in the room. and she asks me why I'm so silent. i say its because all I'm thinking about is tearing your clothes off. fast forward through some heavy kissing and she says we have just one day to have sex.
we ended up having sex for the full three days. after the first day i would like to point out that after i said no more sex then, she was literally clawing at me to suck my dick, pushing me onto the bed. basically trying to rape me. I realised that I should have just calmly said " okay, lets not do anything right now" and not use the absolute of "okay no sex until marriage". As I dont think its good to go back on my word.
Now fast forward to next week.
She is coming here for 2 and a half months. She has said its a good idea she has her own room here. I have taken it and amplified saying its a good idea, and reminded her today, that her room is ready, to make it clear that I am giving her the space she wants.
Here is what I want to do.
I'm absolutely sure we will have sex again in no time. Once that happens, i dont want this issue of having sex before marriage is wrong and all that to keep coming up. i need to keep my frame strong enough like in the beginning, but i want to know how to word it so i can remain calm and nonchalant.
If things start to get sexual, and she says we should stop. I was thinking along the lines of, yeh you should go back to your room.
In the beginning, as soon as i set the frame, she never once resisted after this.
Whats my next step?
Thanks in advance for any advice.