I want to share with you guys my recent experience with a rebound situation. ill try to keep this short. I met a girl online. We spoke on the phone for two days and we hit it off. She became very flirty and indicated she wanted to come over to my place on the first date without even going out for a drink. I thought very dangerous and odd. So we met up for a drink anyway, my idea and we hooked up on the first date and had sex.
She hesitated but finally told me that she was dumped by her BF of 9 years. The breakup was fresh 7 weeks prior. They were common law and were now in the process of separating their assets. I realized I was the rebound and was perfectly fine with it. We dated for 3 months and spoke every day on the phone for hours. I still dated in the beginning when I had the opportunity however I found myself spending time with her then online dating. She was going through a difficult time in the breakup and I was there as support. She was on anxiety / depression and sleeping medication and she would sometimes call me at 4:00am and was a constant clinger.
She was always honest, genuine, and transparent. She finally revealed at some point she was always hoping her BF would come back. They are on good terms and still speak. I knew the risks of what I was getting into. I told myself this was just fun and not to get attached. Since I didnít have much else on the go, nothing to do, and I was enjoying my time with her I made myself available.
I have to admit our three months together were some of the best times Iíve had in years with dates. We did everything, and I thought we connected to some degree. I noticed that she would have her ups and downs but more down days. She made reference to the fact that she didnít want to lose me to another girl, but she was torn because she wasnít ready to jump into a relationship. It almost felt like she was infatuated with me. She would constantly ask me how it was i was still single. Lets just say i'm a decent looking guy, successful, mature, and i have my shit together.
I never asked or expected to jump into something so soon but itís possible she knew I liked her.
She was going out with her single friend partying every weekend and coming over to my place. In the last month she started to make reference to the fact she didnít mind being single.
The one thing I have to point out is that she was never affectionate with me in public, and would pull her hand away from mine. Her reason was because sheís never been with another guy and she feels guilty. Yet she was ok to fuck. (Odd) I quickly realized she was messed up.
Our last week together I noticed she was becoming distant so it triggered me to check online and I noticed that she had been very active in the final week. Entire profile had been revamped; recent pictures were update within the last two weeks. Her profile specifically says sheís ďlooking for marriageĒ. Although she never promised me anything nor did she owe me anything and was honest for the most part, I still feel she was stringing me along the final 2 weeks and would have continued if I hadnít ended it.
She was the most genuine girl Iíve dated in years. When I tried to break up or inquire about what she wanted out of this she became upset and did not want to talk about it. I could barely get through the conversation before she got up and went to take a shower. I ended it because I was falling for her and I didnít want to be the fallout guy. The guy that was going to be a crutch for her to get over her ex BF and then dump me months down the road. I also pulled the trigger because I had a gut feeling she was going to end things soon. Hence why she was becoming distant all of sudden and was very active online.
I dropped her off at the station and I havenít seen her since. I kind of feel like there was never any closure because she never let me finish nor did she respond. I see her online every day and to be honest it bothers me. I realize 99% of the time rebounds donít work out and whatever Iím feeling now I deserved it. I knew what I was getting involved in. I have no regrets I had an amazing time with her.
I guess Iím questioning our time together and if it was real. Did we ever connect or was I just a rebound? I never expected her to get over her BF but seeing her fully active online while we dated kind of hurts because I spent a lot of time with her which normally I donít do during the dating period.
I felt like a yoyo, she was always hot and cold and I was getting mixed signals. One day sheís asking me about marriage and wanting to know my family and the next day sheís cold enjoying single life.
We did many things together, had fun, romantic dinners, sex, ball games, movie nights, dancing...etc... I did these things because I wanted to and was enjoying my time. I wasnít needy, just made myself too available. Not sure if had I played it differently would the outcome have changed.
I guess Iím wondering if I ever made an impact. What are the chances she ever reaches out to me again?
How does a girl with a serious attachment / anxiety style disconnect so easily yet I canít seem to move on from this?
I find itís easy for women to move on quickly because online has made it so easy and accessible for women to hook up and the amount of attention they receive online is overwhelming, itís like flipping through a catalogue.
Unfortunately for guys unless youíre the 1% of the population that fits the dream man profile you have to play the numbers game.
Any input would be appreciated.