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Thread: What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

  1. #1
    thedumbidiot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

    Hey guys need some advice on what to do next.

    Situation: Girl in school. We've met each other in september. Last Friday we finally had sex at her place. Over the next seven days we flirt, talk and I make her laugh quite a few times. I saw/talked to her most of the week (5 days out of 7). Tonight I was expecting us to hangout. **We did not make any plans for us to hang out we just both expected it to happen*** Earlier today she says her friend just arrived in town and that she needs to clean her place up/ make a few phone calls to gather a group of friends to go downtown. I walk her home from class and at the door the conversation basically came down to "Thanks for walking me home" *make out for a few seconds* turns around to go into her house. (Kissing her was terrible, I tried closing the distance then stepped back then she kept asking me what I was thinking to which I kept replying with "nothing." Finally she just leaned in herself kissed me then walked to her door)

    I stand there for a second because I was waiting all week to hang with this girl. I couldn't believe at the moment she was ditching me.... (and I am kinda tipsy because I had a few beers earlier.) I say "Do you have to make those phone calls now?!" and "You really have to phone your friend??" Basically communicated with her that I wanted to stay and kiss her and potentially have sex with her before she started her night out with her friends... She said "yes I have to!"

    As I was about to leave she said "Its okay I'll see you this weekend" to which I desperately replied "But I probably won't be here this weekend!" (thinking that its now or never) to which she said "Then... I'll just see you monday..." We both said good bye then I walked to the bus stop and headed home to write this post...

    Problem: I feel as though I just made a fatal mistake and badly over reached. I communicated that I really desired her but she wouldn't even change or alter her plans for me. (We both didn't make any plans with each other so its completely fair...) Furthermore I fell as though I acted way too desperate. Which was realllllllly stupid on my part.

    Question: What should I do next with this girl... I feel that I need to give her space or that I need to show her that I am also seeking other women. She didn't seem uncomfortable because of me our trying to "get away from me" but still I acted way too desperate.

    Any advice helps!
    Thanks
    T.D.I.

  2. #2
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

    Ok. You acted desperate, you know that. Good news! The door is still wide open with this girl as long as you don't make it a habit to act this way!

    Next time when you're at her house, want to have sex with her, and she asks you "what are you thinking?" tell her what you're thinking! "I'm thinking about that sexy face you make when you're riding me". I'm serious, women love that.

    Dude, you've already slept with her and she's asking you "what are you thinking". When a woman asks you that you've got her!

    She had plans. It was nowhere near "now or never"! Why would you even think that! Next time you want to hang out with her take the lead, and make plans instead of assuming things. You need to stop worrying so much and get out of your own way.

    This is what you need to do to recover: Nothing. Talk to her like you have been (besides this episode). Act like nothing happened (because nothing did happen). Make plans with her and fuck her again. Game, set, match.

  3. #3
    thedumbidiot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

    True.


    I was really drunk. I was waiting all week to hang out with this girl and I just got desperate....


    But what about PACING? There is always opportunity to see her every single day and talk to her every single day. (She works in a studio across the hall with 30 other people. I work in my studio with 30 people.)

    Should I talk to her? Send her a text? Ignore her for a couple days? Wait for her to talk to me?

    You've made a good point about just acting like I normally do... but I feel as though we have seen a bit of each other too much.

    i've never really had a workplace romance thing before so i'm pretty new at this....

  4. #4
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

    Quote Originally Posted by thedumbidiot View Post
    But what about PACING? There is always opportunity to see her every single day and talk to her every single day. (She works in a studio across the hall with 30 other people. I work in my studio with 30 people.)

    Should I talk to her? Send her a text? Ignore her for a couple days? Wait for her to talk to me?

    You've made a good point about just acting like I normally do... but I feel as though we have seen a bit of each other too much.

    i've never really had a workplace romance thing before so i'm pretty new at this....
    Do as you would normally do before this happened. Don't ignore her, talk to her when you see her! You're WAY overthinking this. You two will see each other allot, there's nothing wrong with that. Have fun talking/flirting with her when you see her. If you feel like it you can wait until she texts you. She will, because she thinks about you, especially since you two see each other allot. OR you can just tell her you want to hang out on x day when you're talking to her. You two already had sex. You should be hanging out with her. Don't make it more complicated then it is!

  5. #5
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: What should i do after making a desperate attempt to stay at her place?

    Don't reinvent the wheel. Some guys just give up the behavior when they get the girl...start getting weird and stop doing the actions that acttracted the girl in the first place. Direct gave you solid advice. Keep it it in mind


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