I'm stuck and need help badly, I need to get my respect back and or get rid of this girl.
I know this post is a bit long, thank you in advance for any help\advice that is offered.
I have been stuck in this weird friendship with this girl for 3 years. (we are both in our mid 30's)
1)We are friends, but she flirts with me BIG time. (Started out when she was interested in me and got her friend to introduce us at work)
2)She always tell me that I'm handsome, sexy, she wants me.
3)Send me sexy pictures via text.
tells me she wants to fuck me or give me head and or other sexual things.
4) Tells me that she loves me and that we belong to each other, has talks about us being together.
5) Strings me a long with all the above but will not date me or mess around with me (the first 2 years she wouldn't mess around, but has been for the last 9 months, I'll explain below), I try but she shuts me down. It's just a big mind fuck.
6) I've told her a few times over the last 3 years that I'm sick of these games. If she says she's interested and wants to date and fuck etc, why does she brush off my advances.. she give me lame excuses etc.
I have told her to stop stringing me along and stop flirting if she is not serious, and I'm fine with being just normal friends, I'll go date somebody else, no big deal
She didn't listen and I have walked away from her about 4 times and once for 6 months. All strictly no contact from me.
She is the one to ALWAYS come back to me and apologize and says that she loves me and misses me.
I believe her like a dummy and think that things will be different and that we will date\fuck, but she just starts in with the mind fuck all over again.
7)We started to mess around on and off now for about 9 months, but it's one sided. She will let me go down on her and finger her, or rarely lets me finish on her chest\ass... but she will not fk me, or give me head or give me any pleasure back. She makes excuses as to why she can't
This is only when she wants to mess around, if I try to initiate it, she shuts me down.
8) Over this 3 year period, we have gotten closer if you can all it that, now with her letting me mess with her, and her coming over to my house once in a while to spend time with me, she cooks me meals at my house, sometimes we go hiking or to the movies.
Yet again, it's more when she wants to...
9) However over this same 3 years, she also started to respect me less, she's down right rude to me and mean at points... she breaks plans with me to go hang out with other people,
A common friend invited us to happy hour the other night and she ignored me all night like she didn't even know me...and snapped at me when I tried to chat with her.
10) I'm sick of this hot and cold behavior. One day she says I'm special to her and she loves me, and the next day she's cold and distant, she plays by her rules, doesn't want to date or fuck, but wants me to pleasure her when she feels like it. WTF!
11) Shes VERY possessive of me, says that we belong to each other and that we are meant to be. She get jealous when I date\talk to other women (yes I date and fk other women, She hates it! told her if she wasn't going to date me or be a fuck buddy, I wasn't going to wait around for her, and so I didn't)
12) Like a dummy, I'm hung up on this girl, I think due to all of the emotional investment, that it's hard to tell her no when she comes back. Add in that I see her at work its hard to have space to move on... She take care of me on my Birthdays and Christmas and is there for me, like if my car breaks down or I need a ride to the airport, she will drop what shes doing to help me.
So from a strictly friend stand point, I don't want to loose her (I've told her that I don't care if she dates somebody else, and that I'll be happy for her, and that she needs to stop these games with me) But she knows I have strong feelings for her manipulates me and plays with my emotions.
13) When she's rude, mean and or cold to me (which is like 90% of the time), she doesn't take ANY responsibility when I call her out on her shit or stand up for my self. It's always my fault.
In the beginning of the 3 years she would apologize for bad behavior, now she's slowly gained all of the power and I'm a CHUMP.
14) How do I get the power back? or have her respect me more? I already told her last week that I was done messing around with her if it's going to be one sided.
We go to lunch like almost daily...If I try to freeze her out she will see thru my deception. Not to mention I tell her I'm busy for lunch and then I end up going with my other lady friend at work. She will see that I lied.
Lastly, if I ignore her txt's... she will go to my desk and ask me whats up, and will stop by my house.
I can't shake her short of telling her to FK off and not let her back.
I will at this point if I ultimately have to, but I would much rather keep the friendship and have her respect me.
It's like she's a stalker loo.... she's super jealous, doesn't want me to be with other girls or go out to bars\clubs, gets mad... but she loves to treat me no respect and string me along.
I want out!