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Thread: I need some advice... tricky situation with a hot-cold girl

  1. #1
    Jts3443 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default I need some advice... tricky situation with a hot-cold girl

    Hey guys, nice to be back on here, I posted something similar to this a few days ago but the situation shifted and I'm a little thrown off, so any advice is greatly appreciated.
    I recently broke up with a girl and at the tail end of that break up started talking to another girl, as friends. She a bartender at a nice restaurant next door so I began to know her from being a regular there. We hung out there a few times, stayed there late, drank and laughed; slowly we got to know each other, than hung out casually a few times outside work.I didn't think there was anything there but than I slowly started to see signs. She started texting me often, and we hung outa few times when shed be leaving work and what not. One day one of the other bartenders asked me why I hadn't kissed her yet, and was going on about how much she likes me. A few days later, I took her out one on one downtown. We hung out at the bars, wound up seeing some friends, drank, laughed and went back to my house after because she was a little too drunk to drive. We wound up kissing and she seemed really into it. Being a gentleman I wasn't going to try to take advantage of a drunk girl, we kissed a little than she fell asleep on me.

    After that she texted me everyday and than one night she texted me to come visit her while she was working. A few of her friends were there, and one got a little too drunk, so I offered her friend to sleep over since she couldn't drive. We went to my house, her friend passed out and I made a move on her, we kissed for bit, than I teased her and moved down her pants. She let me, but than became a bit hesitant, and said something along the lines of "slow down a little bit, not in the future, just now, I had two beers, and my friends sleeping next to me" She than went on to state that she wasn't drunk, but just didn't feel "very ladylike" I smiled and said I wouldn't push her to do anything and no worries. We went back to just kissing and about half an hour things naturally just got heated up again and shes down my pants and her pants are off. She said things like "this is bad", and this isn't very "lady like" but than at one point made a joke about me grabbing her ass, so she may have felt a bit "dirty" but was definitely enjoying herself. The next morning she left and I kissed her. I didn't hear from her for three days, which is odd.

    I got the sense something was wrong, but wanted to play it cool, so I went in to her work and had a beer like usual, we flirted, smiled and all seemed normal, we had a beer after, and hung out outside for a few minutes and smoked. As she was leaving I walked up to her and kissed her, she went with it for a few seconds and was into it, than seemed just the slightest bit resistant. She let out a kind of Chuckle/deep breath, and I teased her and stayed within an inch of her lips for a few seconds, than I grabbed her hips, pulled her in and kissed her again, she did it for a few seconds, than started to pull of and was just like "Ive got to go". (She had an interview the next morning but I'm not sure that's relevant) I just smiled and said, "alright have a good night, text me" (should of not said the text me). That was last night, but she still didn't initiate any contact with me. So since we got 'sexually intimate" she hasn't contacted me, and was hesitant when I kissed her. My first thought is that shes scared, and got scared from that night, but she may also have just lost interest. Like I said everything was normal when I saw her last night, all except for the kiss, which she eventually pulled herself away from.
    So why did this girl go from being so hot, us hanging out and talking all the time, to cold, not initiating contact and making her self leave during a kiss? Did I get sexual too soon? Or move to fast? Is she just confused/scared or Did she lose interest? I really cant seem to figure out what happened here, or am I overthinking it all? I feel my best plan is to back off for a bit than just casually visit the restaurant and be cool, but any advice is appreciated. Thanks guys!
    P.S. I saw her today because there was an accident out front. I talked to her for and some others for a few minutes, than wished them a goodnight, she returned it and I walked away.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I need some advice... tricky situation with a hot-cold girl

    Quote Originally Posted by Jts3443 View Post
    So why did this girl go from being so hot, us hanging out and talking all the time, to cold, not initiating contact and making her self leave during a kiss? Did I get sexual too soon? Or move to fast? Is she just confused/scared or Did she lose interest? I really cant seem to figure out what happened here, or am I overthinking it all? I feel my best plan is to back off for a bit than just casually visit the restaurant and be cool, but any advice is appreciated. Thanks guys!
    P.S. I saw her today because there was an accident out front. I talked to her for and some others for a few minutes, than wished them a goodnight, she returned it and I walked away.
    I would say she's just scared you're a player and she's going to get hurt. I always back off to see how interested the guy really is. If you care about her, ask her outright.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I need some advice... tricky situation with a hot-cold girl

    You may be too interested, Try backing off, a lot of women don't want what they already have. let her chase you. Don't jump on the wagon as soon as she texts play a little hard to get, be elusive and give open ended answers.

    Or just find a new chick.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  4. #4
    Jason's Avatar
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    Default Re: I need some advice... tricky situation with a hot-cold girl

    she probably doesnt want you to think that shes a slurrie,
    your playing around with girlfriend territory imo.
    if shes kissing you at her place of work so she must like you.
    Shes probably testing you.


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