The past year has been really turbulent for me. I broke up with my first ever girlfriend and developed an extreme case of oneitis. The reason for the breakup was that she was still in love with her ex who she was meeting up with when he came back home (he was living in another country at the time). I seen a private message sent to him where she said I "failed in comparison to him" and this is what caused me to question her and she finally admitted they were still in love with each other and had future plans to meet up together. The breakup came at very bad timing as our relationship was just starting to develop deeper and that weekend it happened we were supposed to go away together and I was planning to tell her that I loved her. I had put a lot of thought and effort into this and wanted it to be romantic/prefect. At the time of the break-up I was too heavily invested and it caught me completely off guard.
I have a mild form of Autism which makes it difficult for me to make friends, socialize and meet women. So the breakup was taken very hard by myself to the point were I became severely depressed and even suicidal. I lost two close friends in the midst of this mess too. My ex was a complete b*tch about the whole thing after I caught her out. I wanted her back but she said it would be too awkward as her ex was still on the cards. There's a lot more that happened but I don't want to go into it all. In a nutshell at that point I had placed her on a pedestal, above even myself and developed severe oneitis.
Anyway, right now (1 1/2 years later) I have gotten through the worst of it with professional help. Things are more stable and I want to build my self esteem, confidence and social skills back up to the level that they were at before the breakup. I have lost a lot of things due to the breakup and I know I shouldn't have, but what happened has happened and can't be undone.
So, I want advice on where to start over with PUA - the basics. I have a PUA course on confidence which I am about to start again. My texting game is good, I can Neg and show DHV. Could do with some help with building attraction and the push-pull dynamic. I am no good at approaches. Conversation-wise, things are good once I get to know the person. I try to be light hearted, tease and have fun in convo. Could also do with help on how to kino. Must get rid of neediness and self pity.
There are a number of girls in work that I am interested in. However I am not sure if dating someone you work with is a good idea. Obviously all the girls would gossip amongst themselves and a breakup would be awkward to deal with. At the same time, I am comfortable around these girls and they are all nice towards me, some compliment me on my looks. I think starting PUA in work would be better than throwing myself into the deep end with cold approaches and hitting the clubs. I have to start somewhere and work my way up again.
I want a girl as a friend, lover, someone to share my life with, go on dates, have sex with, someone to hang out and have fun with. A girl that I can plan romantic things with too. Ultimately I would like a proper relationship over a LJBF or FWB. Something meaningful and special. At the same time I am thinking that maybe a FWB or a few one night stands would help take my mind off my ex and boost my self esteem and confidence.
I haven't done any PUA for about two years now and had never mastered it in the first place. Has much changed? Is the mystery method still the main way or is there something more relevant and updated?
Any advice, tips and insight is appreciated.