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  • 1 Post By Tyrone1991
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Thread: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

  1. #1
    Husky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    Hi,

    The past year has been really turbulent for me. I broke up with my first ever girlfriend and developed an extreme case of oneitis. The reason for the breakup was that she was still in love with her ex who she was meeting up with when he came back home (he was living in another country at the time). I seen a private message sent to him where she said I "failed in comparison to him" and this is what caused me to question her and she finally admitted they were still in love with each other and had future plans to meet up together. The breakup came at very bad timing as our relationship was just starting to develop deeper and that weekend it happened we were supposed to go away together and I was planning to tell her that I loved her. I had put a lot of thought and effort into this and wanted it to be romantic/prefect. At the time of the break-up I was too heavily invested and it caught me completely off guard.

    I have a mild form of Autism which makes it difficult for me to make friends, socialize and meet women. So the breakup was taken very hard by myself to the point were I became severely depressed and even suicidal. I lost two close friends in the midst of this mess too. My ex was a complete b*tch about the whole thing after I caught her out. I wanted her back but she said it would be too awkward as her ex was still on the cards. There's a lot more that happened but I don't want to go into it all. In a nutshell at that point I had placed her on a pedestal, above even myself and developed severe oneitis.

    Anyway, right now (1 1/2 years later) I have gotten through the worst of it with professional help. Things are more stable and I want to build my self esteem, confidence and social skills back up to the level that they were at before the breakup. I have lost a lot of things due to the breakup and I know I shouldn't have, but what happened has happened and can't be undone.

    So, I want advice on where to start over with PUA - the basics. I have a PUA course on confidence which I am about to start again. My texting game is good, I can Neg and show DHV. Could do with some help with building attraction and the push-pull dynamic. I am no good at approaches. Conversation-wise, things are good once I get to know the person. I try to be light hearted, tease and have fun in convo. Could also do with help on how to kino. Must get rid of neediness and self pity.

    There are a number of girls in work that I am interested in. However I am not sure if dating someone you work with is a good idea. Obviously all the girls would gossip amongst themselves and a breakup would be awkward to deal with. At the same time, I am comfortable around these girls and they are all nice towards me, some compliment me on my looks. I think starting PUA in work would be better than throwing myself into the deep end with cold approaches and hitting the clubs. I have to start somewhere and work my way up again.

    I want a girl as a friend, lover, someone to share my life with, go on dates, have sex with, someone to hang out and have fun with. A girl that I can plan romantic things with too. Ultimately I would like a proper relationship over a LJBF or FWB. Something meaningful and special. At the same time I am thinking that maybe a FWB or a few one night stands would help take my mind off my ex and boost my self esteem and confidence.

    I haven't done any PUA for about two years now and had never mastered it in the first place. Has much changed? Is the mystery method still the main way or is there something more relevant and updated?

    Any advice, tips and insight is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    Hi Husky,

    Try these, there easy to apply and don't take much confidence, very beginner based:

    https://www.puaforums.com/approachin...ua-easier.html

    Your better then her, She is not a god so don't treat her like one.

    Tyrone
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  3. #3
    Jason's Avatar
    Jason is offline Milfsplitter
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    The first one is always the roughest... It usually gets easier my friend.
    As for your work colleagues. use them as practice for conversation, negs and building confidence but friend-zone them. If you hit them up for conversation, youll get confidence and then you'll feel more comfortable in other social situations. Try not to shit where you sleep.... it can get messy.
    Befriend the women, as girls get the girls and they probably have friends. DHV those girls, make them your girl mates so they can wing man you. When ever I went out with my girl mates, the potentials would always run to them after i made a move and went to the bar where they would talk wonders about me, which made it like shooting fish in a barrel.
    My opinion on this one is... If you get the conversation down pact, the negs down pact, then all you'll be missing is approach (really not hard) and closing.
    Hope this helps bra

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Jason For This Useful Post:

    hamcheese (11-24-2015),Tyrone1991 (11-23-2015)

  5. #4
    Husky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    Thanks for the advice guys. I will try out those suggestions. Any tips for building attraction both in person and then continuing attraction over text? I like the idea of using my work colleagues to practice on without getting serious. Thing is there's one or two that i'm really attracted to and want to try my luck with. Even just for dating or fwb... thoughts? Don't think im ready for another relationship just yet.

  6. #5
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    Husky,

    Props to Guns:

    https://www.puaforums.com/online-tex...ing-guide.html

    for text game
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #6
    Sam981 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    Apart from other things already mentioned by above posters, read the book "Models by Mark Manson". Can't stress it enough. It will change the way you think about girls.

    Some thoughts on your post. Now that you had your one itis, hopefully you are past that phase now. This time, just take some time to get to know different girls before you settle with any of them. Too many times I've seen guys starting off great with game, but will just "Settle Down" for the first girl who'll just accept them as their bf. And since a newbie is needy most of the time, he'll think of her as "that one girl" you know.

    So take a break, spend some time with 9 to 10 girls at least, get to know them and then you'll be able to really choose the girl who's "the one" and not because of neediness. Best of luck pal.

  8. #7
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Starting over again from rock bottom - advice wanted

    https://www.puaforums.com/approachin...tml#post135574

    this is how you should think about girls
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.


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