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Thread: dating a girl who has a bf

  1. #1
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default dating a girl who has a bf

    Hey guys how are you? I need help with this situation.

    I have been going out with this girl (we went on about 5 or 6 dates)... Pretty much K-close on every date, and have had sex already a couple times.

    Now she told me on the second date she had a long time bf, like they dated for years, but they broke up already... my thinking is that they haven't broken up officially.
    Every time we go out and I offer to pick her up, she just asks to meet directly at the bar or at very weird places (with bs excuses). It got very obvious last date because I was like 2 blocks away from her place and I asked you sure you don't want me to pick you up? It doesnít make sense that we are going to drive in two cars if we are 2 blocks away.

    I tried not to make a big deal about it and we went on to the date. My question is, should I say anything about it or should I play like I donít care? I mean obviously if she is going out with me that is all I need to know, but I have the feeling that if we keep going out like this we are going to get to a point where we are going to have to talk about it. For now it's been kind of like the elephant in the room where it's obvious that she is still with the guy but we just ignore that fact haha.

    Any suggestions?

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    do not get into a relationship with this woman oh my god haha, I've been in your situation where I was seeing a girl who was "breaking up" with her bf (1year relationship), she kept making bs excuses - just like your girl, when your gut is telling you that something's not good - it's usually right. So just think - if she's not being completely honest with you and is still seeing her bf, what are the chances that she's not going to be seeing someone else when you actually get into a relationship and have minor problems? Do you even want to start a relationship built on false hope and lies? I think not

  3. #3
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Dude she foesn't like him anymore, but she doesn't know how to tell him it's over because she is used to him and because she doesn't want to break his heart.

    I wouldn't care dude, do you have feelings for her ? even if you do just wait it out.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #4
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    xavier - she could still be with him, you can't know, only assume. If you're not 100% sure if she's still with him or not, keep dating her, don't pressure her into telling you everything because it is hard for her either way, wait until she's ready to talk about it without making bs excuses, but if your gut says something's odd - don't get too emotionally attached till' she reveals her cards. The reason I recommended ending contact with her, is because if he truly believes they're still together he shouldn't waste his time on someone like that

  5. #5
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    You guys are right. Thanks for the reply.

    I am thinking just keep my game. I'll eventually find out if she is worth it or not. In the mean time just enjoy the ride. Even if she brings it up i can counter with some bf destroyers.

    And even if she is still seeing the guy eventually he will find out and start getting needy or jealous about it which will push her even further from the dude. Best action is to play cool, act like I am not even concerned about it and keep gaming.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Just treat her as someone to have sex with, if she has a boyfriend, that's what she is doing to you. Don't complicate it. keep her for your desires until you find a worthy enough loyal girlfriend. if she cheats on him, she'll do it to you.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #7
    Jason's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Best piece of advice on this situation is.... The circumstances that you get into a relationship like this is usually how its gunna end with you...

    a Cheetah cant change its spots bro, <--- (see my awesome reference there. 10pts for me)

    Use her as a FB, but invest in other females...

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    Tyrone1991 (11-24-2015)

  9. #8
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Jason.... Nailed it Brethren.

    Spot on.... (PUN)
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Tyrone1991 For This Useful Post:

    Jason (11-24-2015)

  11. #9
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Thanks for the advice! I will take all of it in mind.

  12. #10
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: dating a girl who has a bf

    Quote Originally Posted by Alergy View Post
    xavier - she could still be with him, you can't know, only assume. If you're not 100% sure if she's still with him or not, keep dating her, don't pressure her into telling you everything because it is hard for her either way, wait until she's ready to talk about it without making bs excuses, but if your gut says something's odd - don't get too emotionally attached till' she reveals her cards. The reason I recommended ending contact with her, is because if he truly believes they're still together he shouldn't waste his time on someone like that
    Yeah I know it was an assumption "someone like that" she's not a bitch because if she's cheating, but she is someone a bit weak if she can't end the relationship. About the "she will cheat on you, if she cheated on him" not necessarily... you just have to not be weak and give in to her, so she'll always have a feeling she needs to do something to permanently get you so keeping her focus on you
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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