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Thread: Do I forget about this girl or.....

  1. #1
    Bluenose10 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Do I forget about this girl or.....

    To keep it as an easy read I will be brief. I've known HB8 for a month now, just had the 4th date with her. Just went to a fancy ball room type dinner to which she said she was very excited about, even buying a new dress and shoes and got all done up for it. During the entire night we were basically all over each other, lots of kissing, and a lot of kino. Hung out at an after party for a bit afterwards and then went back to her place. All of my friends thought I was going to get it in that night, considering the way we were around each other. When we got in bed to crash, i started kissing her again, watching her body language she liked it, yet still i faced lmr. Says we're not having sex, i say ok no problem...mind you i have faced lmr before from this girl so it's not the first time....i go on to kiss her again and she's liking it, still goes on to say we're not having sex. I ask why (considering i've known her for a month and this is date #4) she basically goes on to say that she "doesn't know me well enough", and that's fair fine and dandy with me...i'm a good guy and i can wait basically forever for sex and don't mind that at all......but.......t he issue is apparently she is a whore, and i've felt her pussy before, and it didn't feel like a tight pussy or the pussy of a girl that likes to get to know a guy before she fucks them to say the least. So i'm damned if i try to fuck her facing lmr, and i'm damned if i don't try to fuck her by looking like a beta afc, and possibly being friendzoned. We havent spoked or texted since, it's dead air between us a few days, i didn't want to initiate contact in fear of looking needy.

    Not sure what her intentions are but if she's not fucking me by now i don't think they're good whatever they are. My theories are either she's just not that attracted to me(even though she gives ioi's and there is attraction between us), or she's trying to groom me in the long run to be her boyfriend and be able to use sex as power over me (unlikely i think though because i know she's not looking for a relationship, yet doesn't mean girls don't get boyfriends and cheat on them all the time anyway). Or possibly she thinks if i fuck her i'm going to be attached to her and she doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want that, i think that's possible because i'm not a player and haven't portrayed a player like vibe to her, i honestly think it's that, because what's the big deal about sex? Especially to an apparent whore.

    Anyway, i like this girl, not that i'm going to smother her with neediness if i bang her, just want an open friends with benefits type of relationship like it's been, minus the sex which hasnt happened yet.... At this point do i forget about her? Or wait a week to 2 weeks to initiate conversation eventually see her again. I feel like i'll be giving off a needy afc vibe if i initiate at all...putting he ball in her court.

    Simply put, sex should have happened by now...do i just forget about her or do continue going for it? Just don't wanna be her friend, that's for afcs and i don't want to be an afc.

    I said i would be brief but i can't help writing a lot. Any thoughts on my situation would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    I am not an expert but this is my opinion, maybe it helps. have you ever met the girl who says she is mother theresa... reads her bible every day... etc, etc, but she is 24 and already has 3 kids and no news from their fathers? haha.

    I think that all girls, no matter how "whore" they are... want to be treated nicely and find the ultimate love of their life. Some girls start dreaming about it earlier than others.... Probably, for a girl that has had her fair share of dudes.. she knows that after opening up her legs the you will loose interest in her and just start treating her like a piece of meat (though it might not be your case, this is what happens 90% of the time).

    I don't know what your other 3 dates were, but a ball at a dining hall seems pretty legit. There is a chance she saw good value on you and is trying not to come out as an easy to get girl or a slut so you will want to be with her instead of treating of her like every other guy does... In other words, she might be waiting for you to show her that you have "serious" intentions before she gives up that p....

    I say if you keep the dates with the kino as it has been on the last one, lots of touching, kissing, etc... eventually she'll open up.

  3. #3
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    For the most part, I agree with nickfury. HOWEVER, if that is the case, another helpful bit could be to continue the kino but reduce the kissing a bit, as I got the impression you initiate and continue to push for it most of the time. Trying to kiss and escalate through kissing as a way to transition into sex is a pretty general course of action, but in this case, trying too hard at it may be telling her that not having sex with you keeps the power in her hands. She's thinking: "if I don't fuck him yet, he will keep trying to please me until he's met my qualifications." Being the one actually living the situation and seeing it firsthand, it's up to you to decide whether or not this is correct. But if it is, I would basically continue what you are doing, but dial back the intensity of the kissing a bit to help give off more of the impression that you are not putting sex with her on a pedestal. In other words, it's not that important to you and that you still like her with or without it. That message will translate in her mind as she can have sex with you and nothing will be different afterward. Sex is important to her, and she is testing you because she's afraid of losing you.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    First of all, just because her pussy isn't that tight doesn't mean she's a whore. Women have different size vagina's no matter how many partners they have.

    Second, all women are whores no matter what they say. Women like sex more then men. They can't get enough of it. You shouldn't have asked her "why" that's a bad thing to do.

    Third, don't forget her. Things seem to be going well, although I agree that you should have slept with her already. Keep working on it. Read this and follow it, it should get you over the hump and if you would have known about my guide you would have slept with her last time. https://www.puaforums.com/isolating-...rough-lmr.html

    Also, I never bring a woman to a fancy thing like you did until I've slept with her already and I want her to be my girlfriend. Keep that in mind in the future.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    Direct is telling you the truth here man, you can totally spoil girls you are fucking around with, in fact I recommend it because girls love that shit and will reciprocate with spoiling you back or being awesome with you in the bedroom. But you cannot make the biggest noobie mistake and use buying her shit to get her to like you.. that's literally day #1 mistake right there bro.

    Don't take any offense to that, instead look at it this way. You are reading this post and asking experts in the field for advice. You are on your way to becoming a 1%er in this aspect of your life, because 99% of other guys don't ask for any help and would never learn that lesson. Keep learning bro you'll be getting dimes in no time trust me

    -lifestyle
    Started game in 2012. Professionally coaching for 2+ years. Strong believer in good karma, if you'd like me to give you a call/skype/email for some quick tips please reach out. Happy to help. It's cool if you're weird, I am too. Just don't be super fucking weird alright? learnrealseduction . com

  6. #6
    Bluenose10 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    Just an update here. So i texted her after a couple days of dead air, saying that i would never want to do anything she wouldn't want to do and that i'm not angry about anything. No response from her. I screwed up by really pushing for sex and then instead of sleeping next to her that night i left in the middle of the night while she was sleeping, just had trouble falling asleep and was starving so i went home, although that definitely comes off as me being angry being that i wasn't there when she woke up. So now that she's ignored my apologetic text, do i just not reach out to her at all (is it over?) or would it be ok to try again in say a week with a laid back phone call not mentioning anything about that night and just to catch up (being that hopefully by then she won't be pissed at me and would answer my call).

    Just to recap i messed up by pushing for sex too much when she didn't want to that night, and come off as being an afc by not being next to her in bed that morning. In reality I could easily wait for sex, i've seen girls when i was younger for many months or years on end and never even pushed for sex, i'm a patient person and could wait...but i was a typical idiot that night and screwed it up. (Due to the peer pressure to get laid that night, i shouldn't have listened to anyone and just been myself)

    So do i reach out or just forget about it? Obviously i don't want to come off as needy but i like this girl (i am suffering from oneitis, i'll admit, but it's fucking with my head, and need some better closure than her just not responding to my apology text) and wonder if anyone would agree that a laid back phone call in a week is worth a shot?

  7. #7
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    But man why would you apologize? You did nothing wrong! You were making out with a girl in bed on date number 4, and you tried to have sex... That sounds pretty normal to me.

    Although the fact that the first thing that came out of your mouth after days of not texting, was apologizing about sex, it is probably making her think that all these days with no communication you were miserably thinking about the sex episode (as opposed to what she would normally think which is "he is busy, living his life, going out with other girls, etc).

    If you add that to you leaving in the middle of the night because you were "angry about not having sex".. this girl is probably thinking that all you care about is sex.

    You can wait a bit before contacting her back, so you don't come off as needy... in the meantime I would try to go out with other women, or friends... and have lot's of fun. Not only it'll be good for you (clear your head) but if you happen to have her on any form social media, she'll indirectly see that you are not rattled about what happened and that you are not dying because of her not talking to you. Don't go posting a picture of you and another girl directly into her wall, haha, but you know what I mean.

    After that I would try to contact her again, with a good reminder text... something light and friendly that will not push her to reply anything or do anything in particular, and will remind her of a good memory. for example "hey, I just walked by x bar and remembered that night we were out having drinks. You got pretty tipsy that night, I had to carry you home . Anyways, hope you are doing great!"

    The good reminder text has worked for me with other girls... but only after I wait some time, so that she is also clear minded. You don't want her still thinking about the fuck up when she receives the text.

    Hope it helps man! I am sure there are other users in this forum with more experience than me that can give you advise as well! Good luck!

  8. #8
    Bluenose10 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    Just wanted to update you guys again, figure everything is a learning experience and we're here to help each other. I texted her again casually and she got back right away, brief small talk, we made unnoficial plans to watch a game that night and she said the dreaded, "i'll let you know" line to me, which really means "no". She didn't even respond to let me know. She never initiated texting so that was also another sign. So she's just not attracted to me, my game isn't good enough yet, that's basically where I failed. Hope you guys learned a few things from my experience, I sure did.

    I'm just getting into this pua stuff myself. So I have a long road ahead. Just wanted to give you guys a few take aways from my experience with this chick.

    -If a girl isn't banging you within 5 dates, she's not attracted to you, move on and improve your game, figure out where you went wrong and try not to do those things again.

    -Don't develop oneitis (getting hung up on one girl) i'm notorious for such a thing because i'm a hermit, i'm not a bar or club person, so when I have a cute girl like this where I think i'm gonna get something good going, and then it all goes to shit, it hurts real bad, I get into a bad funk and i get depressed. Guys, don't develop oneitis, it's paralyzing and a waste of time. If you're chasing a girl that you know you screwed your chances with, just stop it, let it go, and focus on yourself, improve your body and your mind, get into a hobby you really enjoy, and keep sharpening your game.

  9. #9
    Luckylou is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    I feel you bro, it really sucks. Same thing happens to me, and Im not getting any younger.Good luck!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Do I forget about this girl or.....

    This one and is tricky, the plain fact is she has kids and likely feels she has been burned in the past. Rightfully so she will have more resistance than someone of similar age without. FWB isn't usually what they are looking for. It can be done but you can't use conventional theories on this one.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.


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