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  • 1 Post By Tyrone1991
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Thread: Girl at work: Fail

  1. #1
    KamiSamir is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Girl at work: Fail

    Hi guys! Need some advice here


    So, I work at a mid-sized company and there is a girl that works at a team/room next to mine and we interact a lot regarding work issues.

    We exchange lots of emails everyday and during lunch and breaks at work we always spend time together and talk a lot.

    I'm always making jokes and I make her laugh very easily. At company leisure events she always wants to sit next to me and be part of my team.

    Some people at work noticed that we are always together and even think that maybe we are more than friends.

    This only happens at work. After work we dont see each other, we have our parallel lifes and we only exchange text messages


    Now what happened:


    A while ago I started using kino a lot, touching her face, arms and so on and I told her that "shes great and i would like to know her better"

    she answered saying that we should start to interact more with other people at work and we didnt need to be always near each other.

    Just after this, she went 1 week on vacation to a "great friend" new beach home that he just bought 200 miles away from our city.

    She went there by herself, alone, so they spent 1 week just the two. No more people where there with them. (what kind of girl spends 1 week on vacation with only a "friend" without fucking him? I guess that does not exist)

    After that, I felt very dumb and started moving away from this girl during 2 or 3 weeks.

    After that she started searching me a lot and we started talking again.. I started having hope again and now history repeats.

    I noticed that nowadays she is always receving messages and texting someone with her cellphone.

    Some days ago, she answered a phone call and start talking softly, very quiet, and ended that call with "i also like you very much..kiss on the mouth"


    So now I am feeling very stupid again. I guess this girl just wants to be my friend, but I dont want to be at the friendzone

    I feel that she is somehow toxic to me, because I see her everyday and I feel attracted to her. The more we get close the more then I suffer at the end.




    What should I do? should I start spending time with other people at work and just cut her off? It is starting to get painful being next to her.

    What excuses should I give her when she notices that I am moving away and dont want to be near her anymore?

  2. #2
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    Mate,

    Firstly, Do not shit where you eat. Probably should keep work professional, I would simply use her as someone to practice techniques on but not catch any feelings or cross the boundary of sexual harassment on. So yes talk to other people at work, don't let her close enough to you, and DO NOT Catch feelings.

    Secondly, She fucked him.

    Thirdly, Stop being gay, listening to a girls conversation is Gay, Be a man grow a pair and stop giving a fuck about how many times her phone bleeps. Shes a girl, if your attracted to her, other guys will be too.

    Excuses? don't need them, let that be a mystery. the more you justify it, the more boring you become and more likely you could offend her. Plus if you don't tell her, you create mystery and she will most likely want you because your now a challenge. Just DO NOT BE A ARSEHOLE about it. Don't be rude, still smile and crack the occasional joke. Just don't over invest. Balance is key

    She: "why don't we hang out anymore?"

    You: "stop being so dramatic"
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

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  4. #3
    nickfury is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    Tyrone is right man... every girl you like will have tons of other guys trying to on her... or worse, fucking her. If you have been friends at work for long and haven't made a move chances are that is just how she sees you. It doesn't mean you now don't have chances of sleeping with her, but if I were you I would try to go out with other girls as well...

    Speaking from my own experience, the worst thing you can do is get stuck with this one girl, specially if she already has another guy she is visiting or seeing or whatever. From what you say on your messages it seems that the more you find out about her visiting, phone calls or texting this dude, the more it hurts... don't let it get in your head man, I am telling you that is a one way journey!

    go out with other girls, have fun, and treat your coworker as you would treat any other girl.. get the power back. eventually those feelings will go away...

    I am not an expert but hope it helps. Good luck and keep us updated!

  5. #4
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    Is there some way this woman can see you interacting with other women at work?

    As a general rule I agree you should not try to be romantic with people you work with but the fact is you see her a lot and sometimes people can develop feelings for each other. My brother worked at the same place his now current wife did and if it wasn't for them working together they would never have met so I would not discount the idea of meeting someone you work with for romantic purposes entirely you just have to be very careful and very discreet because of what they call "water cooler gossip" stuff.

    I think in your situation though it's probably best to move on and find someone else. At some point after you do casually bring it up into the conversation with this woman that you "started seeing someone and she is really great" and see her reaction. If her response is something like "why are you telling me this" or "I don't care" or anything slightly negative it means she secretly has a thing for you and is trying to protect herself. If however she says "Oh good for you" or something along those lines then she probably never thought of you as anything more than just a friend in the first place.

  6. #5
    Weapon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    I agree with the first response; don't shit where you eat. It never really works out very well...

    I also agree with everything in the first response, so really give that some thought if you haven't already. BUTTTT...

    While it may not be realistic or applicable in your work environment, I've seen another situation like this work out by doing the following:

    First off, you want to be someone in the office who is respected for what you are able to contribute, but also for being an all-around awesome guy outside of work. The combination of workplace effectiveness and an attractive personal life is a good combination to have.

    When my friend had a situation like yours, he ended up making new circles of friends (both men and women). Once he was comfortable with that, he would suggest group meetups outside of work (lunch breaks, karaoke, drinks, movies, get-together at the house/apartment etc.) Since they were group events, women were more likely--more comfortable?--to attend and eventually it had a pretty good balance instead of all sausage. They also ended up getting a grouptext going, which provided non-stop material for inside jokes and other things.

    The group events, over time (about 3 months) allowed him to shine as a fun, confident, honest guy out of the workplace that actually--over time--gained the attraction of other women. This got his target woman to start coming out to these events. She was able to get more comfortable with him, and ultimately they ended up hooking up.

    Now granted, after they hooked up they tried dating for a couple of weeks everything failed miserably for him, but you get the idea. In a way, it kinda worked out regardless because they clearly weren't meant to date anyway and he got over her as a result.

  7. #6
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    Weapon, I love that ending hahahahaaha "the twist of the story is......."
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  8. #7
    Weapon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl at work: Fail

    Haha, it all goes full circle back to what you were saying about not shitting where you eat.


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