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Thread: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

  1. #1
    Weapon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    So I was watching Casino Royale--after a few drinks--and one scene put me into an introspective state. It went like this:

    Vesper Lynd: You're not going to let me in there, are you? You've got your armour back on. That's that.
    James Bond: I have no armour left. You've stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me - whatever is left of me - whatever I am - I'm yours.

    Cliffnotes to this: Bond is a cold-hearted badass who can attract any woman, actually falls in love with one, then after she betrays him he becomes a cold-hearted badass again. You know the story.

    So I'm asking you guys how much distance do you keep with the women you meet, and do you ever allow your "armor" to be stripped? Do you ever expect someone you close to be a long-term thing? I'm curious, because for me:

    1) I was in a serious relationship(marrying-type serious) which, after it failed, kinda jaded me on the idea of love. To hear your partner say things like "I will always love you", "You are the one for me", etc. and then suddenly one day it's simply not true, was a wakeup call. Then when I discovered PUA, and witnessed things like the "BF Destroyer" work on so many people so easily, it further reinforced that feeling.

    2) Before I started really getting into PUA, I closed on a girl who I ended up casually dating. As much as I would keep that armor on in the beginning thinking it would just be a short-term fling, over time I actually started to grow feelings for her too. While I didn't let up on some of the methods I learned from PUA, I allowed the feelings I had for her to be a little more genuine. Then it ended. Difference this time, however, is that at least I wasn't totally blindsided by it because I was starting to notice the signs earlier--even as she said the same things like "I think you're the one for me". It didn't bother me much, and we're still friends, but once again it made me question the idea of real love/relationships.

    3) Because of the nature of my career at the time, a level of discretion was required and helped justify the distance I had to keep. This limited how genuine I could be with some of the women I met...which was fine until some of them unintentionally became more long term interests to me.


    So when do YOU feel comfortable enough to let someone in? Or do you ever really strip your armor off in this lifestyle?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    Very good question. I am intrigued.

    Personally, as a woman... (and this may sound really foolish) I let the man see the real me. I am totally genuine.

    Now I have a big heart so it destroys me when someone doesn't accept me but I figure being totally myself will attract the one who will accept me and love me for who I am. That's who I want. Someone who will love me for who I actually am. Of course, it takes your lifetime to actually discover the entirety of a person (I'm still learning about myself!)

    Now, I don't recommend this to anyone unless you are mature, in tune with yourself, healthy and spiritual (so you know you can seek and receive healing)

    Courage is the ability to put your heart on the line and keep getting back up. I look forward to reading what others have to say.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    That is a very good question. I'd say it's okay to open up when the other person opens up and if it doesn't end well so be it. It doesn't mean that the love you felt when you were together wasn't real. It doesn't make what you had any less magical.
    "Don't cry because it's over smile because it happened" _ Freud

    @Mystique yeah it does take a mature man to take the real side of a woman right of the bat, be carefull, you don't want to start thinking that since it's not working out why bother? why bother even going out and all these negative things ...
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #4
    Sam981 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    For me personally, initially the armour is just normal (neither too high nor too low). And it gets lower and lower as the interaction goes along, like a knob.

    Honesty and vulnerability is always the best option but you don't want to be an open book from the first meeting. Have to maintain a reasonable mystery to your character.

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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam981 View Post
    For me personally, initially the armour is just normal (neither too high nor too low). And it gets lower and lower as the interaction goes along, like a knob.

    Honesty and vulnerability is always the best option but you don't want to be an open book from the first meeting. Have to maintain a reasonable mystery to your character.
    heh Sam. On point.

    I love lamp. I love lamp. I love lamp.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    I dated a girl for four years before pickup, and now I am not bitter towards relationships, but the whole monogamy thing is something completely culturally influenced. Too many people watch disney movies and have this mindset that that's how life should be, and they have to find somebody fast.

    My perspective. Go out and have fucking fun, it's cool to date a girl openly where you can still fuck other girls and she can fuck other guys. There are rules, like no bringing it around you and no bringing it around her, but go ahead. In fact the girls I "date" now I expect them to go out and have a good fucking time. I don't question it. I date multiple girls at one time, and once it's time to move on, I move the fuck on. Your life is so much better once you figure out how to solely rely on yourself, and grow on your own. We don't actually need a partner for anything, unless you maybe want children (which should be done on a very calculated based decision). People jump the gun because biologically and culturally we are inclined to act a certain way, especially since our family has all done the same/our friends are doing the same/all the media shows it. You gotta separate yourself from all that and introspectively look at how you actually feel about this situation.
    Started game in 2012. Professionally coaching for 2+ years. Strong believer in good karma, if you'd like me to give you a call/skype/email for some quick tips please reach out. Happy to help. It's cool if you're weird, I am too. Just don't be super fucking weird alright? learnrealseduction . com

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    That is a very good question. I'd say it's okay to open up when the other person opens up and if it doesn't end well so be it. It doesn't mean that the love you felt when you were together wasn't real. It doesn't make what you had any less magical.
    "Don't cry because it's over smile because it happened" _ Freud

    @Mystique yeah it does take a mature man to take the real side of a woman right of the bat, be carefull, you don't want to start thinking that since it's not working out why bother? why bother even going out and all these negative things ...
    So I've been asked to expand on these thoughts so here goes:

    Human beings always have an armor up, it is in our nature. There is always something we will keep to ourselves, because we fear judgement, rejection, being perceived as weak, being manipulated, that someone will use this information to hurt us in the futur. We forget that we are humans and that we are entitled to make mistakes, we forget that no one will judge us as hard as we judge ourselves and we forget that any situation is powerless without our reaction.
    I believe we, as people who are interested in the art of seduction, become more aware of relationships, how easy they can be to form and how easy they can be to break. We understand that nothing in life has worth unless it is earned, and thus we know we always have to be the prize that the person we are seducing can get close to, touch and lift, but not take home.
    I trust that we will know when we should cool down in order to push the other person to chase us once more. We will just read the body language of said person, judge the level of compliance, overall willingness to please us and efforts the person is doing for us.

    @Mystique:

    If you want to be real and direct you can, but you need to know that only an emotionally mature man can take it, not only that, the man needs to be one that shares many of the same values you have. That is not easy to find at all. if you get hurt every time it will take a tole on you in the end, and you might start to think "why should I bother going out with someone if it won't work out? Why bother giving myself to someone who won't understand me?".
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    So I've been asked to expand on these thoughts so here goes:

    Human beings always have an armor up, it is in our nature. There is always something we will keep to ourselves, because we fear judgement, rejection, being perceived as weak, being manipulated, that someone will use this information to hurt us in the futur. We forget that we are humans and that we are entitled to make mistakes, we forget that no one will judge us as hard as we judge ourselves and we forget that any situation is powerless without our reaction.
    I believe we, as people who are interested in the art of seduction, become more aware of relationships, how easy they can be to form and how easy they can be to break. We understand that nothing in life has worth unless it is earned, and thus we know we always have to be the prize that the person we are seducing can get close to, touch and lift, but not take home.
    I trust that we will know when we should cool down in order to push the other person to chase us once more. We will just read the body language of said person, judge the level of compliance, overall willingness to please us and efforts the person is doing for us.

    @Mystique:

    If you want to be real and direct you can, but you need to know that only an emotionally mature man can take it, not only that, the man needs to be one that shares many of the same values you have. That is not easy to find at all. if you get hurt every time it will take a tole on you in the end, and you might start to think "why should I bother going out with someone if it won't work out? Why bother giving myself to someone who won't understand me?".
    I'm ok with that. That's the exact kind of man I want.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle

  9. #9
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    If the girl can trick me into dropping my armor I will do it. Otherwise, no way. In a way you have to drop your armor if you really want to connect but this will open you to get hurt and for some reason women will always betray you once you let your armor down. It's in their genetic code to do it.

    The only way to keep a girl forever interested is to never let go of your armor but this gets really tiring and is not sustainable as even the most badass guys will still have some feelings. The other problem for me is that I always feel guilty of having the girl under my spell. I want to give a girl the power over her own heart, that's why I only use PUA techniques to pick up chics but once I'm in a relationship I just drop my mask as I believe that being a fake is weak. If I have to psychologically manipulate a girl so she doesn't leave me, then is something I'm not willing to do. In the end it depends on your values I think.

  10. #10
    mystique's Avatar
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    Default Re: How Much Armor Do You Wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steelchoco View Post
    If the girl can trick me into dropping my armor I will do it. Otherwise, no way. In a way you have to drop your armor if you really want to connect but this will open you to get hurt and for some reason women will always betray you once you let your armor down. It's in their genetic code to do it.
    This is not fact. Women do NOT have betrayal in our genetic code. Don't let your experience of a select few bitches colour your judgement of the entire female race. That would be letting them still hold that power over you and rob you of the opportunity to genuinely connect with a woman who is right for you (and actually sweet and genuine)

    Quote Originally Posted by Steelchoco View Post
    The only way to keep a girl forever interested is to never let go of your armor but this gets really tiring and is not sustainable as even the most badass guys will still have some feelings. The other problem for me is that I always feel guilty of having the girl under my spell. I want to give a girl the power over her own heart, that's why I only use PUA techniques to pick up chics but once I'm in a relationship I just drop my mask as I believe that being a fake is weak. If I have to psychologically manipulate a girl so she doesn't leave me, then is something I'm not willing to do. In the end it depends on your values I think.
    I totally agree with your point here except I think you are confusing vulnerability with weakness? Being vulnerable takes great strength and courage. If you want a damn good definition or want to know more about it, Mark Manson (former pickup artist) writes about it in his book 'Models'. I just bought it thanks to a recommendation by a dude here (Thanks Sam!) Apologies if you do know the difference of course... I can't be sure so thought I may as well point it out for the sake of others reading also.
    You will never do ANYTHING in this world without COURAGE. - Aristotle


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