In field I've been slowly seeing patterns emerge and honestly it feels as if when I'm being myself I completely lose frame and act childish sometimes (I joke around way to much), and it makes me realize that is that just how it is? I mean I don't care what people think about me but I don't get the results I want with them when I am being myself.
To get the results you want with people you have to act,behave,speak a certain way (ultimately being manipulative?). There's no other way eh...? Feels like I lost a tiny bit of myself on my way as I climb to the top of the mountain.
I guess its just a bit sad that no one likes me for who I actually am(Or maybe they do, just not the way I want them to) When I use a lot of pua and other persuasion tactics, it seems like everyone likes me, (guess I've just learned how to portrait a like able character in general now)... even though that's not who I am. Is that just a sacrifice you make?