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  1. #1
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default What causes anxiety around women?

    This is one of my main problems and I feel like I am about ready to tackle it for good....

    What are your guesses or theories?

    It could be....

    A symptom of an underlying anxiety disorder that has nothing to do with women in particular....

    It could be...

    Caring too much what they think or how they perceive you or feeling like you need to impress them...

    Wanting them to like and accept you so much that you will lose sight of who you are and change into what they want you to be.... can't be comfortable or be yourself....

    What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    drwar41 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    No one likes to lose, and striking out with a woman can feel like taking the L. The idea is to train yourself out of enjoying the winning part of it and learning to enjoy the game. I've gotten to that point when playing actual sport and I've been happier playing it but also been better at it, it's the same with approaching women.

  3. #3
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Yea, I think it's caused by insecurity, though....

    Like you feel that you are not good enough to even be in their presence....

  4. #4
    Gironon is offline Banned
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Being redstar. Or #beingredstar

  5. #5
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Can we stop this guy already?

    He's out of hand.

  6. #6
    Gironon is offline Banned
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Oh hell no seriously? The guy who always needs thea last word because hes so alpha. I wont say any more just to keep my account. But just know that was cowardice.

  7. #7
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Quit clogging my email you dork...

    Gdtyh...

  8. #8
    Somebody is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Honestly, there's a lot of different possible causes. For example, a guy may have had bad childhood experiences with women or a woman that caused him to feel anxious around women his whole life. A guy may just be anxious around people in general if he has social anxiety. In most cases, I think guys get anxious around women because they feel the need to be more than who they really are. They feel they need to be extra interesting or funny - more than they normally are - because they worry that she won't like them. It's a fail mindset that only leads to being less interesting and funny. This is why anxiety can me amplified for a lot of guys when they're around a hot girl or a girl they really like. They're afraid of "losing" her and so they put all this pressure on themselves. It's best to just relax and behave as you normally do. Don't try to be something different or something more. Success, again, is about prior preparation. So, if you haven't already become an interesting and funny guy, you're not going to become any more so by thinking you need to. If you already are, then all you have to do is continue doing what you're used to doing. It's no sweat. We are what we do repeatedly. We're creatures of habit. You need to make being interesting and attractive a habit and a lifestyle so that when that girl you like comes around you don't need to put on a show.

  9. #9
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    This is probably way beyond the scope of this forum, but I've recently realized that I have anger issues with women that go back to most likely abandonment issues with my mom and she was semi-abusive as well.... I don't know if this is something that can be fixed or if it takes me "out of the game" completely... what do you think?

    Also, on the topic of being yourself in front of even hot girls.... I often talk about the apartment complex that I'm about to take partial ownership of or the home building company that I want to start... sometimes I even lie (exaggerate, or speak in wishful thinking) about business ventures that I "know" will work when they haven't even begun yet...

    If I was myself... I would just sit there and say nothing, wouldn't I? I really don't know what else to say other than trying to brag my way into high value...

    What do you think about all this?

    Like someone recently said.... if I think my apartment complex is the value that I have to offer them... then I have problems... if this is true, then what should my value be?

  10. #10
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: What causes anxiety around women?

    Also, do you think this is interesting?

    I run a trailer park and an apartment complex... I'm learning how to fix things to be good at home repair to reduce maintenance cost... once these two properties are profitable, my "business partner" (dad) will buy more apartment complexes and we, along with one other person, will run those as well... we could very well own 20 apartment complexes and maybe some hotels 10 years from now...

    I also am trying to flip houses and start a home building company....

    Is this enough to be "interesting" to a girl? What do you have to do to be interesting?

    And I know if I ever achieve millionaire status... that will help me.... whether I have a Lamborghini or not...


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