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  • 1 Post By xavier
  • 1 Post By kmm179

Thread: Getting people to listen.

  1. #1
    Gironon is offline Banned
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    Default Getting people to listen.

    Anyone feel like you open and then maybe they look at you and then they arent listening anymore. So you try harder but its like youve already lost them in like a split second and its clear they dont want to listen.

  2. #2
    redstar1324 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Getting people to listen.

    Maybe they just don't find you physically attractive.

    Even Mystery gets blown out of set at times...

  3. #3
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    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Getting people to listen.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gironon View Post
    Anyone feel like you open and then maybe they look at you and then they arent listening anymore. So you try harder but its like youve already lost them in like a split second and its clear they dont want to listen.
    It's the way your talking maybe... you need to be energetic fun and captivating
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  4. #4
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Getting people to listen.

    I got Gironon banned, he was just too disrespectful to the members and women in general.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  5. #5
    kmm179 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting people to listen.

    Yeah I dk if anyone saw the thread yesterday, about putting this girl in her place after he already said she wasnt pretty and got all devensive. Hes the type of guy shooting himself in the foot with women buy over thinking every interaction. Sounds like hes got Napoleon complex. You got to respect woman if you want success with them....

  6. #6
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Getting people to listen.

    I realize he's been banned, but I believe that this is something that many that are new to the game struggle with so I'll share my opinion on this matter. And before you read this, take note that I'm not talking about a 1 on 1 interaction with someone but an interaction in a larger group.

    Most likely it's like xavier stated - it has to be the way you're talking. Your energy, your confidence, your social skills in general, even if what you're talking about is exciting and appropriate. Being shy and assuming that you're most likely not going to be noticed has a large impact on your energy, assume Attraction & Authority and it will be granted to you to a certain degree. Being energetic also helps, especially while talking, the result of that is that your words gain some genuine emotion and not only the need of approval.

    Now, if this problem of people not listening to you often occurs it's a clear fact that you're not the person with the highest value in the group.

    In several social interactions in (larger groups) I've noticed that there's always someone who's the leader (call it alpha, the dominant person, doesn't matter), he's the center of attention, he's the person who's validation means the most to other people. In most cases he's not the AMOG, he doesn't put other people down, and he has legitimate value to the group, he's confident, and is there only to share positive emotions. This person's validation means a lot to other people, and they tend to seek it (usually unconsciously). I've seen several people in social interactions not even talking, because of reasons only known to themselves (lack of confidence is a smart guess), and it takes very little effort for the leader of the group to get that person to open up, it can be as simple as asking the person a question requiring his opinion, or even looking him in the eye while talking (take note - it would be a dumb move to state the fact that he's being quiet and asking him why because makes him only more closed-up). After this, it is obvious if the person wants to be involved or not, just by taking a closer look at how they respond verbally, or even looking at their body language.

    I no longer have the problem of speaking up after being quiet for a longer period of time, because I tend to jump in and out in the conversation anytime I desire, taking pleasure in both being the observer and the observed. But if you tend to be more on the "shy side" then this approach is definitely not for you. Use the 3 second rule and become the center of attention from the beginning of the interaction, instead of waiting for your moment to speak up. You'll gain a lot more out of this and won't have to suffer anxiety for a long period of time.


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