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  1. #1
    Von
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    Default Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Hey guys, I got this question to ask you and what d you think: A girl your interested in wants to ''friendzone'' after you asked to see her more casually. Then after I tell her: there is no friendship between us possible (and see her face change like she's piss). She goes on and says: We're you faithful to your ex (so if i ever cheated on her).

    Her reply:
    1) Did you ever cheated on your ex-girlfriend ? (she mentionned it happens alot among her friends)
    2) what group you hang around etc...
    3) i think you can be sneaky etc...


    How you would react ? What you think it means ? Anywhere to go from there ? Opinions ?

    My ex wanted to friendzone me at first lol (it lasted 5 years)... your opinion ?

    - Context
    So I went on a couple of date, was challenging to build attraction, made it, went out, we kissed, than everytime i was with a girl and told her ''she send me stuff during the time zone etc...''. Eventually, she probably lose interest in between.

    We went out.... and clearly asked her where we were going and i wanted to see her more casually.... than she says: I am busy, cant see you every week, its better we be friends, I am not looking for anything serious or drama in my life.

    My answer: We'll we wont be friends, I have enough friends in my life, not asking for something serious or a relationship but i wanna go somewhere etc....

    Her reply: 1) Did you ever cheated on your ex-girlfriend ? 2) what group you hang around etc... 3) i think you can be sneaky etc...

    Let me know what you think.... this question really surprised me.... and than I remember a girl I dated had asked her girlfriend (the gf of a friend) if I was a ''player'' because I had pictures of hot girls in all my facebook stuff lol (but its my job)....

    Did it come from there ? Should I initiate a contact in a few months?

  2. #2
    upperhandy's Avatar
    upperhandy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    what was your reply to her questions?

  3. #3
    Von
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    I was surprised and it was my first time getting that so i answered basic truth: Never cheated on her, I loved her and we had up and down but she was my love until it went away. If my ex cheated on me I dont care its in the past, we still talk on friendly term and she ask me advises but her life is her own and i dont care what goes on there. Alot of the people i know now are through her. For the the first time in my life, I know who i want to be with, where i am going , what I want. I never had a ''crew'' but at 26 now i've found one, my passsions.... I am not someone to live with and i am not always nice but I have goals.....
    Basically told her the ''group i hang on with'' engineer, doctors, lawyers... that I am friendly and would never cheat.

    Than it took 1 week to remember, a girl asked her friend if i was a player due to the fact I am always surrounded by HB10 in pic. Maybe she was wondering about that....

    Before my ex, i got friendzoned by a date of 6 months.... than my ex used the same ''Friendzone'' and I remembered this ''date'' I had and had developped an answer (which I forgot until now, if its the same).... we were together for 5 years..

    It's experience, I know where I went wrong and I understand.... but I never had that type of question so I am wondering if you guys ever had that experience and what to do with it

  4. #4
    upperhandy's Avatar
    upperhandy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    it's basically a shit test/compliance test. girls do this without really knowing it. basically she was looking to see if you would qualify yourself for her and you did... by answering the question. which wasn't the way to go.

    a better response would be...
    you: "ya no thanks i've got enough friends... but if you wanna hangout sometime that'd be cool"
    her: "hmmm... have you ever cheated on one of your ex's?"
    you:"ha ha ha... look at you.... not one second ago you were trying to friendzone me, now you're trying to see if i would be good boyfriend material.... slow it down... you're making me feel like a piece of meat..... (said with smiles and grins)


    turn the question around on her....

  5. #5
    Von
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    I like the answer and does feel an approach I should have taken. I did get caught by surprise.... but than its with experience you learn to grasp the next occasion.

    Yeah, throught out the ''dating'' she went from casual 3textos, than after kissing it was long stuff, than back to the ''usual 3 stuff'' and she did reschedule our date (she picked the place). The day we meet and this event occured she cutted down the activity to basically having tea and than came up with I have to be gone by this time etc... (which she cancelled in front of me.... like she did all the other times)....

    Depending on how and what I said her buddy language was changing.... she was sometimes smiling and leaning her body (breast towards me) than would back up entirely etc...

    The night ended, I drove her back and said: ''see you someday'' (as she went for 2 kisses on the cheek)

    We bound to bump into each other eventually at a corporate event or on the street (she lives close by and we hang out in the same spots).. I understand that part I have to improve and how I should have made myself ''different'' than the guys who tries to get in her pants (she did say that night: alot of guys want to sleep with me)

    1 Question: Should I recontact her ? What should I write to her (follow or build up on what happened that night)? When? Give it another shot?

    Basically, what to do now

    Thanks for the answers

  6. #6
    JayBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Hey Von,

    I feel you boss. You really liked this girl, she's probably extra sexy, and now she's flakin' on you like Pilsbury Grands.
    I'm gonna suggest something similar to the advice i lent our buddy Upperhandy, who was a similar position.

    First, I get the feeling that you might have been trying a little too hard to hang out with her. You say you went on a few dates, how many times per week did you ask her out? Did you ever make her come to you, and ask you if you wanted to hang out? Were you the one initiating all (or most) of the texts? Did you take time to kick back and give her a good amount of space?

    See what I'm getting at here, champ?

    Ya gotta make her come to you sometimes. And you gotta give her some space, especially if she's a busy woman.

    So what to do now?

    You have 2 options.

    1. Just let her be, don't text her or call her, go get with some other chicks, and essentially forget about her.
    Eventually she'll see you out in the city with some other girls and get jealous, then you'll get the text a month or so down the line, "Wyd?" haha.

    2. You can let her cool off for 2 weeks exactly. No calls, no texts, no facebook contact, nothin'.
    Then after 2 weeks, one day when you're out with your boys, text her something like Just go with something like "Hey, I'm at this really cool bar, having a kickass time (or whatever, tell her something neat about the bar, the bartender is really knowledgeable about whiskey, whatever you want. Just insert a cool little detail), hope you're well, I'll drop you a line soon."

    A text like this is going to drive her crazy because you're doing something cool without her. And you're not trying to be an asshole about it, you genuinely wanted to share a little bit of your good time with her, you're wishing her well, and letting her know you'll contact her again sometime. You're essentially keeping the line open here.

    Hope that helps, brother!
    Jake Berreth
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  7. #7
    Von
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Hi JayBee

    Thanks alot for the answer. I was wondering to send something in the future (which would just be in the ''play to hard'' or she gets that all the time: basically telling I want a queen for my kingdom etc...) but your approach is way better and I can work with my ideas from there.

    How did I play the situation?

    Too Hard or ''too average'', basically I behave like I was still in relationship and provider like I wanted to buy her... She was the first girl who gave me the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship again (after 7months of single life and having casual xxx and hookup). I was the initiator and used some lines from this forum to get her in the dates (build up the interest on her side)

    I did ask her to pick me up once, ''i have no car answer etc...'' anyway we kissed after that date.... Another time, she had an issue at work, I let my car in the street for 30 minutes (double flasher) and went reading in the library and asked her to pick me up there(it worked).

    How many times ? I ask her once, than at the date itself for another, after that it was confirmation (she would take around 8 hours.... 3am replies).... until we kissed, I was just answering the same amount she was sending me (after initiating) and at the 3rd text asking her out

    Now as of January 9: I got asked on a date by this woman (she's taller than me, 3 to 5 years old I believe), we went out for 2 hours at a wine bar and she said it was a date and she was ready to be in a relationship again etc... So i kissed her there and we held hand, she dropped me back to my place before taking a cab and she was holding my hand during the walk.... So i've meet another one who seems alot more easy going and fun (it flew like butter, no ''blank space'') and physically my type.... She's part of my ''voluntering-professionnal social group'' so basically everyone in my life will know if I date her including the Subject of this conversation (11hb)......I know next time i'll see this date its at a common friend bday party.

    The next night I am going out with someone i have no idea who's phone number it is (i was playing along without asking although the number look familiar). Also,I know I am not in a relationship but the cards are starting to mix. I had 1 ticket reserved for my date who friendzone, who I gave to a female friend so she make me look good lol (PR girl) but she's buying the drinks after but now I am starting something with this one (and her friends will be there). My days are full until end of january lol.

    Debate,Debate.

    I would definitely go with option 2: There is a couple of events (one which the subject will be there) I am attending for work and it usually end at a party spot (which the subject-girl always hang there).

    So Jay, although I got ''friendzoned and than asked this'' my skills/experience might have downsized me but I did pop the question, I did do, I had the confidance of asking a adult conversation and when it was done. I finally felt ''free'' of this beating heart feeling and that I knew what I wanted, where I am going, how to improve my inner game (dont be the ''buyer''), challenge them. And coming here to increase my chances mixed with my confidence.

    My question to you now: I will use option 2 after my events (scotch and classical music, muse concert, museum event where she'll be there) with boy crew and hot girls who are friends... what next ? I'll drop her a line for real after a few weeks or I wait for her

    thank you

  8. #8
    JayBee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Alright bossman,

    Firstly, it sounds like you got a lot going on. To be honest, your writing is kindof hard to understand. But from what I gathered, you have a fuckton of dates coming up, yes?
    So what I suggest you do is you go on those dates with other women that you have planned.
    You said you're almost certainly going to be at the same functions as her while you're on these dates? Perfect.

    Here's my suggestion if you're going to use option 2. (She must be really special to you if you're still attracted to her even though you have all these other females hanging around ya!)
    Go on all of these dates where you'll be at the same venue with "the subject". And while you're there, be cool with her. If you see her, go up and say "hi", make some casual conversation (light on the banter here, just go with the ole' "hey how are ya" average conversation).
    Then politely excuse yourself so you can get back to your date.
    While you're with your date, game the shit out of her, make her laugh, have her touching on you, just have a bunch of FUN with her. And do it just for the sake of having fun, not to make "the subject" jealous.
    But she's gonna get jealous anyways.

    Here's what's gonna happen.

    You're going to have a nice, boring conversation with her. And then she's going to see you having FUN with these other girls.
    She's going to be jealous of that fun version of you
    that these other women get to experience, but she's not experiencing anymore.

    So after the two weeks, or all of these functions are over or whatever, have your night out with the boys and shoot her that "ping" text that I mentioned above.

    If you play this right she's going to be chomping at the bit for you.

    And on the off chance that she doesn't respond right away, yes you do exactly what the text said you would do. You wait for a week or two and drop her the same type of text again, "Hey, I'm out here doing some cool shit, different cool shit than last time, but still cool shit. Hope you're well!" Whatever.

    And if she doesn't respond to that one (very doubtful) then you just leave her alone because she's a soulless demon.

    Hope that helps boss!
    Jake Berreth
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  9. #9
    Von
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Hey, another girl I went on a date thursday... called to say ''I don't see anything romantic between us''

    Here's a new story:
    A girl asked me on NYE what I was doing, than I asked she should tell me about her resolutions.

    She ask me up for a drink. We settle a date and spot. She text me the day before to confirm.

    Now at the wine place. After 20 minutes of conversation:

    She tells me its a date, she's ready to date again etc...

    I move on for the kiss, she kisses back... than says: I wasn't expecting this.

    I tell her: You know what i wanna do with you right now.

    So she goes on talking. I start holding her hands, kisses many times during the night. Eventually we talk about the fundraising we do volunterily (i think she brought me there for that)

    We leave, we walk back to my place holding hands (she picked them up).... I offer a ride home, she says no, we kiss and she takes a cab and I enter home. We text everyday between 2-3 times a day .....

    Saturday: She send a text asking why i sent a email to her sister..... I say its work related everyone got it. How was last night etc...

    Saturday I write while i was out with a (girl)friend: ''I am thinking of you, how was your night?'' 1 hour later by mistake I sent her ''no response '' (which was meant for someone else)

    She replies the next day a couple of text under 3 words. I say: ''I charge 25cents per texto under 3 words''

    She calls me 3 hours later.... saying : ''I don't see anything romantic between us and I wanted to let you know. ''

    My reply: ''We'll I am not surprised, I won't fight against it, I have alot of my plate in my life right now so I am not sure if I want a relationship or not right now. However , I like you and your directness. I was going to offer you that we meet for a 5to7 before Friday party. She goes on saying she would be at the gym and only showing at the party for the karaoke etc...''

    Than she ask about my weekend and I ask about her weekend.

    Finished saying: Good night.

    So she said: ''not romantic with me'' but she never said friend..... maybe Friday I have a shoot at something physical ?

    I've figured that I want just 1 girl but I feel I have no time for a girlfriend (80 hours a week business, 10 hours of gym, 6 hours of dancing and doing my master degree)or found someone that drives me other than ''physically''. Currently, I am working on myself and doing stuff I love so at least until my studies are finished.... I don't see how can I share my time especially that my career is on the line depending if I passes my master or not (love laws changing governement lol).

    1 ) What you think ? This girl is friendzone or I have a shoot at some casual sex ?

    2) If friendzoned after she asked me out. Or why 2 friendzoned dates back to back. How can I improve or if I don't make them my girlfriends... I have sex with them

    3) Is it normal to get friendzoned that much lol (2 out of 2) ? This girl is taller than me and older (by few years)

  10. #10
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friendzone yet after she ask if I'm faithful in love (opinions, tips?)

    Quote Originally Posted by Von View Post
    1 ) What you think ? This girl is friendzone or I have a shoot at some casual sex ?

    2) If friendzoned after she asked me out. Or why 2 friendzoned dates back to back. How can I improve or if I don't make them my girlfriends... I have sex with them

    3) Is it normal to get friendzoned that much lol (2 out of 2) ? This girl is taller than me and older (by few years)
    1. It sounds like you got friend zoned. There's still a chance you can hook up with her, all you have to do is feel her out when you see her. If she's smiling, follows you around, or touches you when she doesn't have to then you escalate.

    2. She was obviously very interested in you but you did things that turned her off. I don't know what you did. When a woman is that interested to actually ask you out then you have to do multiple things to turn her off. You're somehow displaying needy behavior.

    3. No it's not normal. I haven't been friend zoned in 9 years. I used to get friend zoned long ago, but now, I hook up with them and if it doesn't work out the woman never mentions being friends. I don't know if it's my attitude or they know that I won't settle for friendship. You're displaying needy behavior somehow. You need to figure out what that is and stop doing it.

    Also, it's a good idea not to mention anything about a relationship or "seeing" each other first. Let the woman do that. All you need to do is escalate as fast as possible. Sleeping with a woman on the first date is extremely easy. You should sleep with her by the fourth date max. Just hang out, sleep with her, and she'll bring up the relationship thing. Trust me, if you're doing your job in the sack, they'll always bring up the relationship thing. They can't help it, it's oxytocin. They get attached by having sex/orgasms.


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