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Thread: too serious?

  1. #1
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default too serious?

    Long time since I last posted any questions here, so here's what I've noticed in my game at the moment.
    I have no big issues with AA nor confidence, but due to that I became a little bit closed off, nowadays I prefer to observe others, instead of being observed. So.. What I'm struggling at the moment is..

    #1 storytelling, I've noticed that my storytelling is a bit below average, where as some people manage to make a walk to the supermarket sound exciting.

    #2 social butterfly, I'm not 100% sure if it's related to storytelling but, one of my main sticking points at the moment is becoming more of a social butterfly, this of course is the opposite of being the observer. I used to take great pleasure in being the observed and had great success with it, captivating the attention of all those who are around me, and only building their admiration for me. Because I took a seat and never lifted my buttocks from the seat of the observer, my friends were amazed that I wasn't putting any effort to get up on stage and woo everyone, simply - they say I got a little bit closed off.

    So, although these aren't exactly huge problems, they are troublesome at some points.. So, all feedback is highly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    JayBee is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: too serious?

    Yo Alergy,
    Here's my two cents.
    Storytelling: Storytelling is given its color by details. Many people forget to use sensory details to make their stories more engaging. How did something smell? How did it look? How did it feel? Are you just pushing through the plotline without "stopping to smell the roses"? <<<use of metaphor is also a highly effective way to make your stories more engaging.
    Takeaways: More sensory details, throw some metaphors in there and let the listeners figure them out.

    Social Butterfly: What's your energy like when you're out now? Have you been more sedentary lately? A big reason guys get a little closed off is because they stop being active. When your body is sedentary your mind becomes sedentary as well. But if you were to engage your body before you go out, you'll find that your mind is more awake.
    Takeaways: Do a couple sets of pushups and squats before going out, you don't have to go nuts with it, but enough to get your heart pumping and blood flowing. If you really want to get fun you can do a little dance in your room by yourself before you go out. I know it sounds a little weird but science shows that dancing by yourself (no matter how ridiculous or bad your dancing skills are) increases focus, and the physical activity lowers stress hormones and increases testosterone.

    In short: When your body wakes up, so will your mind.

    Hope that helps, bossman!
    Jake Berreth
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  3. #3
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: too serious?

    oh I workout 4-5 times a week, I have no problem with being active, I always dance when I'm in a great mood with or without music, with or without friends, when my body says it's time to dance then hell nor the place nor the time matters - it's time to dance! I tend to focus on the interactions of others, how they're behaving, especially the males, who's trying to appear as the most dominant one in the conversation. On many occasions (usually when just in my close circle of friends) I'm just thinking about my goals and projects. It's like I have to force myself to be the center of attention, I've become a little bit more grounded than I was before, I thought that I'm maybe taking myself too seriously but me dancing and singing whenever I feel like it really discourages that thought haha.. Thank you for the feedback, definitely helpful

  4. #4
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    Default Re: too serious?

    Dude.
    I think we would be best friends. I'm a huge fan of random dances and daily exercise.

    And I have that problem, too. Analyzing other males, focusing on projects. It's even worse now that I'm launching my business.

    Just an observers perspective:
    Everyone goes through seasons in their lives. You went through your season of "being the center of attention" and now you're in the season of "observing the center of attention". There's nothing wrong with it, it's just where you're at. Maybe you'll go back to being the center of attention when you feel like it, maybe you'll go off in some other direction. Who knows?
    Mystery is the spice of life.

    Glad to see some like-minded people on the forum, brother.

    Much love.
    Jake Berreth
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: too serious?

    haha, you're right, thank you for the advice and for putting a smile on my face, share the love!


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