Need an outside opinion
So, I have known this girl for about 2 years now. We have clicked from the start and ALWAYS ended up making out when we saw each other (even if just at parties or get-togethers of mutual friends). She would always randomly text me every so often saying she missed me, so send pictures of us together saying we make a cute couple.
I would end up asking her to get together a time or two during our two-day to week long conversations and nothing would come of it. That is all the background.
Recently we started hanging out and spending time together. It was great for both of us, and I told her that I had some baggage and we talked about it. I just wanted to let her know up front.
I quit talking to her for a while, and she mentioned that she thought I dropped her and she did something wrong. I told her she didn't, I was just scared of my feelings for her, and she said she felt the same way blah blah.
Then she did the same thing to me and ended up messaging me today saying she missed me, we talked, she complained about her friends not hanging out with her for a long time, and of course I told her that she was special and tried to cheer her up and saw it going no where. I talked a bit and told her "it sucks our lives are so far apart, but what can we do" and she agreed. Then I said it was no big deal, we could still be friends and chat from time to time.
She said she didn't like that, and she loved spending time with me, so I told her I was getting off work early and was available tonight. I was originally planning on going out but hell, I hadn't made the plans yet. She said that if plans didn't work out with her friends we could. I told her that we would just hang out some other time. What I didn't flat out tell her is that I'm not okay being a back-up plan or someone just to cheer you up when you feel like shit.
We talked some more, and I ended up telling her that there is a place for her in my life. She seemed both surprised and happy to hear that. Then I also told her that we could quit being scared and move on, or not and move on. She said "hopefully I can see you tonight." I told her that I'm sorry, I can't make it because by then I already had other plans (I started making plans as soon as I told her some other time and had friends getting ready by then).
She got kinda pissy and I ended the conversation to go get ready.
I guess I half just needed to vent, but the other half is open to some opinions. She is pretty indecisive, and though I know she really cares about me (she has told me she loves me several times in person), she is kind of a mess. I care about her too, but I'm ready to just walk away from this roller coaster. As a side note I did go out and have a good time.
KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple