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Thread: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

  1. #1
    rom9 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Hi Guys
    I have thinking of this lately. It seems PUA is all about the numbers. Yes there is to some degree you can learn and refine your skills as a PUA just like in everything in life (and stand out of the crowd). BUT
    I feels its a numbers game at the end since the more u approach the more probability you have.
    You could be the smoothest guy around but if a girl does not find u "attractive" there is almost zero chances you are ever gonna be with her. This comes down to factors that are out of our control (race, physique, looks and so on).
    This is the reason why some guys (usually of a typical physical description) have to do nothing to get to women where as some who have to up their game to the top levels and even then face disappointment.
    Now just cause you got handed a bad card in the genetic pool does not mean you give up BUT what I am saying is that this nonsensical idea that becoming a perfect guy (smooth and charming) will get you all you want. Luck is still a massive factor !

    Thoughts ?

  2. #2
    JackSarge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Yeah no it is very much a numbers game. I am 155 approaches on the books, doing it my 5th year. Some guys do it the wrong way and some do it the right way. I tried to learn something from every interaction and built my skill set to where I am today.

    It USED to be ALL A NUMBERS GAME and there is truth to what you say since IF a breakup happens back to running those numbers again. Also It is a numbers game in practicing and getting good. It is a numbers game to getting a girlfriend. But those are the least of my worries of late. I only care about perfecting my technique. At first couldn't close HB6's for Phone Numbers now I laugh at them as they pass by since they approach me now! And I shut them down! Now I only deal with 9's and 10's (my new rule) and I can close HB9's on a dime and recently just had an amazing date with an HB10.

    So my standards have gone up now I approach HIGH HIGH QUALITY targets and because my advanced skills I actually perform very very well. I have closed 100% for the last 2 years (due to my pre-qualification) where I used to try and close everything now I know that I know when I am going to close. So there is some exceptions to that. It is a Numbers Game but once you get good like me it is now a Relationship Game since my interactions have a much higher probability of succeeding I choose much much more carefully. So my approaches are less and my numbers are less but the quality is greater, my success is greater, my sets are stretching out for hours, my dates stretching out for weeks/months, and thus the relationship evolves it is just a process.


    All in all

    Approaching is a freaking Science (I can always read where a set is going I cannot do this in a Relationship)
    Relationships are not a Science (thus more difficulty and uncertainity) they are more Organic (too many variables)
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  3. #3
    lifestylebible's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Yeah definitely about numbers, don't worry about your "batting average" with women. You will never have a 1.0, even celebrities don't (although they have pretty damn near that). Humans are too complex, there's just no way.

    That being said, work on yourself, become higher value/better with game, and you most certainly will improve this batting average. The two main goals with working on game is A- to approach more (so instead of getting 3 out of 10 girls, you now can get 9 out of 30 girls, thus the end is tripling the amount of girls you have), and B- to improve yourself (so now instead of 9 out of 30 girls you are better, higher value, and status... you now have 15 out of 30 girls).

    Very broad stroke terms here. But this is the mentality you should adopt . In the mean time approach, read, and theorize on here brother! It will work well for you.

    -Lifestyle
    wingmancon.com
    Started game in 2012. Professionally coaching for 2+ years. Strong believer in good karma, if you'd like me to give you a call/skype/email for some quick tips please reach out. Happy to help. It's cool if you're weird, I am too. Just don't be super fucking weird alright? learnrealseduction . com

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    I think you're on to something. I forget where I heard this, but there's a difference between good looking and looking good.

    Yes some men have been blessed with good genes. However we all know that the things coming out of is mouth can kill that attraction. Depending on the variables (woman's standards, attractiveness of guy, etc).

    And yes less attractive men have to work a bit harder which is why I usually don't recommend the direct approach for them. Indirect is much more effective imo.

    Also it's easy to think that pickup will guarantee any woman you want. Especially everyone spouting off their best pickup stories, but none of their failures. It can give the illusion that we get any woman we want. So I usually tell guys that we are simply influencing her and not to confuse it with controlling her. Cause we all know that attraction is not a choice.

    P. S. You should still ACT like you can have any woman in the room though lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    rom9 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Thanks for sharing your views guys. Seems we more or less have a consensus that Attraction is not a choice and that's why its all a numbers game ! (especially for someone who is not so lucky in the gene pool).

    My problem with the whole numbers game is that I am a working person. I have a great job but it is hectic. I am a part time dancer and dance instructor (Latin dancing) that takes up a lot of my other time. Great way to meet women but also very touch as its social game and you cannot sleep around without getting a bad rep very quickly if you do !

    Bars and clubs are not my thing as I am only 5'6" in a country where average male height is 6'1" (and I am not Caucasian in a Caucasian country). Too much bull shit going on in such places and no matter how good my game is the chances I land even a 7+ is tough ! How do u guys manage to do the numbers game when you have a busy life. I am above 35 ! (and I have done the online dating thing where the chances are even worse)

    thoughts?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    It is a numbers game, but just like any other skill, you can improve your odds with practice. Game trumps looks. Yes looks can help you, but it doesn't define you. There examples of good looking guys who are horrible with women and there are "ugly" or short guys who are pimps. It's how you present yourself in the best way possible through grooming/fashion/etc. and your game that gets the girl. Online dating can help you if you have a busy life. Tinder and Bumble have helped me get dates and lays later in the week when I'm working all day/night. At the very minimum, you should set aside 1 or 2 nights for social events or dates. You definitely need some sort of social life, otherwise your skills will get rusty and you'll be down.

    Btw, I love dancing and use it as a way to meet women. There are free Salsa and Bachata lessons at some clubs nearby where I go early and meet the girls and have already built social proof for the rest of the night. Great way to build your social circle and meet women.
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Well I'm not sure what happens when you go out, but you should always expect guys to have something on you. It takes practice to not let it effect you. I remember when a girl I was dating invited me over and she had a group of friends there. A couple of guys.

    One of these guys, I found out within minutes, that he was in the peace core and contracted malaria a couple of times. And spoke 2 or 3 languages. She herself worked for Lockheed Martin and traveled the world on business. And here I am just a guy who barely has a job or car still living at home. But I didn't let it effect me. I let him puff his chest and I simply laid back in amusement because it would be a bad move to try and puff back. I later found out he was thoroughly friendzoned anyways at that point. About an hour later I laid in her bed to go to sleep and she came in shortly after, came under the sheets and she had no clothes on.

    So you can have the insecurities cause I think it's normal to have them. But you HAVE to put them away when you're out and in front of women. Don't let it effect you and give you an urge to prove yourself when you don't have to.

    Try not to look at it that you're too short. Look at it as she's too tall.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    HollywoodCA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Even with tight game, there are women who won't be attracted to you. It's like a great actor auditioning - maybe you look like their ex? Maybe they are racist, anti-semetic, anti-tall, short or fat or anti-muscles. But there's NO QUESTION that going out consistenly will get you results. And I used to think only a certain "type" liked me - for instance, rock n roll chicks would never go for me. Well that turned out to NOT be true. Whatever baggage you have from high school is over unless you still believe it. Girls of every single type will like you if you meet enough of them. You have to BELIEVE that you are attractive to any type of woman on the planet. Just because, like me, the sweet "nice" girls liked you before - doesn't mean you can't score the bitchy model or the tattooed pin-up type. Just go out and do the 80/20 rule of reading up on this shit only 20% of the time and going out the rest.
    "Cause people are funny and they donít know what they want when they have it
    Itís only things they donít know that they can believe in"




  9. #9
    rom9 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Thanks guys. I would like to know anyone here who can provide some good coaching ?

    I am a resident of Ireland so its only skype possible.

  10. #10
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Attraction is a science or is it too random to be defined

    Try T MAL who you can find on this forum, he charges a fee but he is the guy you want coaching you
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet


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