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Thread: making a decision about a possible breakup

  1. #11
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    Everything is easier said then done, But if you genuinely want to fix it. You will put the time & Work in.

    I wouldn't even do it for her. I would do it for yourself, You owe it to yourself to be the Best you can be. The happiest you can be. The most confident. So you need to work on yourself. Realize why you feel like this and do what ever it takes to get passed it. There are free Councillors out there, Seek parents advice, Happy successful couples. Read every book, Write how you feel, Force yourself to think without any stimuli. Sit in a room with no lights, TV, Music anything and just Think if you have too.

    Heard the expression "Your biggest enemy is yourself"? That's why it takes so long.

    I believe In 3 sayings.

    1. You're biggest enemy is yourself.
    2. The lesson repeats until the Lesson is learned.
    3. You attract what you are.

    So you do always need to work on yourself, You owe it to yourself to defeat yourself and reach your maximum potential.

    You will continue getting girls that will make you jealous to bring your issue to the surface, so you can deal with it. lesson.

    If you aren't a perfect partner or have issues/behaviours. You will attract and Imperfect person.

    Alot of men are critical of there women when they do something, they treat them like children when they do something wrong ( getting angry with them). Just like a Child who has done something wrong, because you haven't shown respect or explained in the correct way, they don't learn why its bad, they just learn to hide it, like a child or dog who poos. LOL and then we get trust issues because they try to hide it (because of fear of getting in trouble or you angry) and we loose trust in them for trying to hide it, not realizing that it was our fault. Usually because of pride and anger.

    When you could of been like "babe, you know this whole you talking to your ex thing. I get that it is probably innocent, but because I have the issue, It makes me really uncomfortable, The reason is that I value you so much, and although i know you have chosen me, They are your ex's which means you once Choose them, and I just don't want to loose you because you are a very important part of my life, I know you have every right to talk to who ever you like, I cannot ask you to stop talking to them, I just want you to know how it makes me feel and until I get past my issue, I want us to be as successful as possible because we are a great team."

    See your a man, She is a woman - By law you are Alpha.
    This means she will Respond/React the way you do.

    If you approach like a child/ She will Act like one.
    If you are full of pride/ So will she.
    If you treat her with love, Vulnerability, Sensitivity & honesty. - She will always respond like minded but it has to be genuine.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    Unless she has some deep issues, she should always respond to you dropping your pride and showing vulnerability.

    But thats another story
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  3. #13
    Val
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    Pretty surprised about the amount of feedback on a PUA forum! Thanks everyone!

    Things fluctuate from one day to another. If it was all good - than it would be all clear - it's good and there is nothing to discuss. If was all bad - it would also be clear. This mix of good and bad is the confusing part...

    Recently I had birthday. My sister traveled a thousand kilometers because of it! My gf didn't come (bad) and she lives a few kilometers away... But sent me a present (good)...

    My gf went to a concert last week. (good) With the guy what I believe likes her. (bad) He posted a facebook his picture which a hundred people clicked like and only one (my gf) clicked love (bad). wtf? We spoke on the phone and I ask - "what does this mean" and she says "it means nothing". In my simple mind I wonder - who does that and what's the goal? If she wants to be with him or anyone else - fine. I have failed at whatever. But not being clear is what's not cool.

    Stu-B:

    Some people look at jealousy as a sign of deep-seated insecurities and personality defects. I view jealousy as a much more complicated emotion. I think jealousy may actually reflect your higher values of commitment, monogamy, love, honesty, and sincerity. You may feel jealous because you want a monogamous relationship.
    Yes, I do.

    WadeWilson:

    However over reacting isn't the right response considering that she says that you're different and that she loves u more than she's ever loved anyone else.
    It sounds great hearing those words from her, but when actions and words differ - I tend to believe to the actions more

    The_Situation:

    however it's easier said than done especially if you have invested more than she has
    This is how it seems to me, although as mentioned in a previous post - she took care of me while I was recovering from an accident. A female friend of mine told me that this is a big deal and that many women won't do that.

    Tyrone1991:

    I believe In 3 sayings.
    1. You're biggest enemy is yourself.
    2. The lesson repeats until the Lesson is learned.
    3. You attract what you are.
    Sounds very true like everything else in the post #11.

    Seek parents advice, Happy successful couples. Read every book, Write how you feel, Force yourself to think without any stimuli. Sit in a room with no lights, TV, Music anything and just Think if you have too.
    I have rarely asked anyone for advice outside of work, because I thought this is my problem (whatever the problem may be) and it is my responsibility to find a solution. I have never written how I feel before.

  4. #14
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    I respect your bravery, most people are in denial. So congratulate yourself.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  5. #15
    Val
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    I ended it.

    Just about anything she has posted on fb, has been loved/liked by a number of exes and this new guy. Just about anything any of those people has posted on fb loved/liked by her. That's not my imagination. It's what's seen on fb over four years on hundreds or thousands of occasions. What does it mean is a mystery for me. I don't understand that and I never will. And fb is just one channel of communication. What happens out of it is... I don't know. Blocked her in every possible way.

    Next.

  6. #16
    Val
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    Default Re: making a decision about a possible breakup

    Some lessons which I learned during this relationship. They are valid for how I see the world and about long term relationships! If noone else sees it like that - it is fine. I won't repeat things already mentioned in previous posts.

    1. If something looks like bullshit - it's probably bullshit.

    2. If something looks like it's too good to be true, well... it's probably too good to be true.

    3. 11 years age difference are a pretty big thing, when the younger one is 19. You are in completely different stages of your lives and that matters if you want a sustainable relationship!

    4. Great sex is not enough for a sustainable relationship. It is a one of the requirements, but much more is needed. It can blind you and make you ignore the missing parts.

    5. You have to make sure that some basic values are the same for both parties. People will not change their basics, no matter of the age. Many things will change over time, but not the core, which makes you you.

    6. Both sides have to view the keeping in touch with exes in the same way. For me this is impossible! Has never been and will never be. For me, it is just an easy way back if they "change" their minds at some point. If someone else thinks otherwise - that's fine. They are just not the person with who I'll be.

    7. Don't make the other person the center of your universe.

    8. Keep your old friends and don't make only common friends.


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