So... there's this one girl...
Alright so to be real blunt with you guys I met this girl about 2 years ago, when I was completely a chump and had no idea of what I was doing.
things happened, I actually believed "entitlement" game played a good role in this because I wasn't very good at the time but I did very well when I met her at her family home. Got all the ioi's etc.
I did this to myself and this is real bad. Towards her my sub conscious is somewhat destroyed unfortunately and I don't know how to fix it. I actually didn't believe in myself at that time and would have done things way more differently, knowing what I know now. Worse thing is I'm a huge sucker for girls of my own country and the majority of them aren't very attractive, yet she is and neither are the guys and I happen to be lucky in that department and she knows that.
the summer before last, the very last time I had contact with her, she said to me "aww you'd make a great hubby" as we were talking and flirting, it was easy for me to manage talking to her at the time even tho I was a real chump. That annoying @ss phrase glued to the back of my mind unfortunately.
So several months later on valentines day I msged her on fb so like 8 month gap or something like that after I gamed other girls and got better and she responded really well, it was somewhat high energy but I was nervous af. I asked for her number and I replied like a day later and she waited hours for me to make some simple replies, and I replied "ok got it". Then when I texted her she sent me a text similar to my "ok got it"and went cold, I sent so many chump *ss texts after she didnt respond to the first 5 maybe like 7 all together 2 -3 of em were chumpy af. fast forward a few weeks later I accidently misdialed her number to which I didnt realize and she picked up with a really warm voice, and I said "wrong number" once I realized as if it couldn't get worse.
A few months later I called her again and fucked up miserably again. Called her like 7 times in a row and said some chump @ss sh*t until the very last one she gave the phone to her father, yikes* I know embarrassing. That was like last May. Then I saw her at a festival during the end of last summer, we didn't talk at the event, I didn't go upto her as I didn't know wtf to do or say (actually went full retard nervous when I saw her) instead I was social proof dhving by gaming the whole room. Slowly as I was working my way to her group she left quickly, with this nervous look on her face. But weird enough since then her fb account has been sending me fb event invites like non stop, though they stopped last month, assuming she just got bored of waiting or they were a mistake w.e. I did send her much better texts throughout this period of time probably a total of like 11 texts within the span to which she only replied to the first one asking who this is. then cold on the other 10. So I stopped that. I know calling her is the only way to get an interaction with her.
2 extremely bad things I did:
1)I crept her fb page this whole time, I know I shouldn't have but f*ck all these friend zoned losers keep hitting on her and it pisses me off unfortunately. Even though this whole time her relationship status remains single, it just infuriates me.
This whole oneitits thing is getting so bad that I've been having dreams of her like probably like 7-8 so far since I met her. maybe more, one just a few days ago.
2)I can talk to any girl but I tried calling her last thursday I pumped myself a bit created a routine, revised shit tons of material, even went to a mall to be somewhat distracted and for an hour I walked around and realized "Sh*t I CAN'T DO IT," I can call or text any other girl but fk I put this girl sky high on the pedestal and seriously mindfarked myself. It's really now a question of inner game, this is extremely bad. If it was an in person meet up I would crush her, but over the phone she seems to just crush me I don't know why.
I was even hesitating to not even write this post, to avoid going through the range of emotion I would have to to write this post, and instead just get my money game tight and make her regret avoiding contact with me, but THAT SH*T IS FOR F*KING LOSERS and in all honesty, I was about to crawl back into my comfort zone of not having to bother with this girl but when I realized that I said , No more of this sh*t.
It's really fear and a sh*t ton of it. I don't know what to do, I'm very sick with this cold and I'm working to knock it out. Only thing I've done is found wingmen in my area from various forums to go out cold gaming, a dude just texted me right now for tmmrw so I will go, but how do I fix this mindset issue now? I believe putting all that pressure and prepping it all to calling her that moment really did some damage to.
I don't give a flying f*ck if I get her or not, in a few months she will severely regret it if she passes on me no doubt about that, I'm quite the revengeful type and the way I'm going to do it is going to kill her softly to the point where she'll come crawling back to me, with the skillset I now have compared to when she met me, it'll be a mssacre <---I don't want to give into that bs however, so how do I fix this bs, only thing I'm doing is going out cold gaming but is there something you mpuas can give me insight on. I want to have a fighting chance this time when I call her, and I will if I can destroy this fking mental block first.
All help is appreciated.