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  1. #11
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    I think its still good, just bad timing. In general I don't really care what other guys are doing, since I'm usually the alpha, I'm not acting alpha right now/here, because I'm asking for help, but truth is I'm a little threatened by this guy, because if things don't work out with supervisor girl, and I haven't dealt with him yet, it'll just keep messin up my game with every one else I interact with through work. Insecurity is not sexy I know, but this is the most truthful way I can explain the situation, and I want the best input from this site.

    Three day rule: Irrelevant. Got it.

    Building attraction AND rapport. This is a big sticking point for me.
    'Going Straight Into "Rapport" Without Flirting & Building Attraction, Is A Quick Ticket To The "Friend Zone"'
    Tyrone1991's signature is the summary of every time I've flopped with a girl. I'm pretty easy going, and I have an easy time building rapport because I'm just screwing around and not trying to get laid right away, but how do I build attraction along with rapport? I don't have an issue stating my intentions blatantly, but it really depends on the girl, and the situation. Right now all I have is text/email, good rapport, and a little attraction. I'm not even sure if all the flirting is actually building attraction, or just creating more rapport.

    Also she has made a remark, in person, that her philosophy is to stay single for as long as possible, I'm on the same boat, and I just want to hang out and fark, should I throw this out there during our next interaction? My lifestyle definitely reflects this statement, so no worries that she'll call me out on it.

  2. #12
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands View Post
    I think its still good, just bad timing. In general I don't really care what other guys are doing, since I'm usually the alpha, I'm not acting alpha right now/here, because I'm asking for help, but truth is I'm a little threatened by this guy, because if things don't work out with supervisor girl, and I haven't dealt with him yet, it'll just keep messin up my game with every one else I interact with through work. Insecurity is not sexy I know, but this is the most truthful way I can explain the situation, and I want the best input from this site.

    Three day rule: Irrelevant. Got it.

    Building attraction AND rapport. This is a big sticking point for me.
    'Going Straight Into "Rapport" Without Flirting & Building Attraction, Is A Quick Ticket To The "Friend Zone"'
    Tyrone1991's signature is the summary of every time I've flopped with a girl. I'm pretty easy going, and I have an easy time building rapport because I'm just screwing around and not trying to get laid right away, but how do I build attraction along with rapport? I don't have an issue stating my intentions blatantly, but it really depends on the girl, and the situation. Right now all I have is text/email, good rapport, and a little attraction. I'm not even sure if all the flirting is actually building attraction, or just creating more rapport.

    Also she has made a remark, in person, that her philosophy is to stay single for as long as possible, I'm on the same boat, and I just want to hang out and fark, should I throw this out there during our next interaction? My lifestyle definitely reflects this statement, so no worries that she'll call me out on it.
    Don't give a fuck about what they say.

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  4. #13
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands View Post
    I think its still good, just bad timing. In general I don't really care what other guys are doing, since I'm usually the alpha, I'm not acting alpha right now/here, because I'm asking for help, but truth is I'm a little threatened by this guy, because if things don't work out with supervisor girl, and I haven't dealt with him yet, it'll just keep messin up my game with every one else I interact with through work. Insecurity is not sexy I know, but this is the most truthful way I can explain the situation, and I want the best input from this site.
    Then you should keep at it. Just stop caring about what the other guy can do. You have no control over outside circumstances, except yourself. That's why the focus should only be on what you can do to get her.


    Building attraction AND rapport. This is a big sticking point for me.
    'Going Straight Into "Rapport" Without Flirting & Building Attraction, Is A Quick Ticket To The "Friend Zone"'
    Tyrone1991's signature is the summary of every time I've flopped with a girl. I'm pretty easy going, and I have an easy time building rapport because I'm just screwing around and not trying to get laid right away, but how do I build attraction along with rapport? I don't have an issue stating my intentions blatantly, but it really depends on the girl, and the situation. Right now all I have is text/email, good rapport, and a little attraction. I'm not even sure if all the flirting is actually building attraction, or just creating more rapport.


    If I may suggest a different perspective, attractive people never have to "build attraction". Because they are naturally attractive. Your goal should be to make yourself attractive, and you can't find that in "attraction techniques".

    So, you've gotta ask yourself first... what makes you attractive? And what makes an attractive man? You will find your answers in there.


    Also she has made a remark, in person, that her philosophy is to stay single for as long as possible, I'm on the same boat, and I just want to hang out and fark, should I throw this out there during our next interaction? My lifestyle definitely reflects this statement, so no worries that she'll call me out on it.
    I rarely ever throw it out just like that, because I find that when people do that... it's very clunky. There is no class to it. She wants to stay single? Awesome. You're on the same page then. She rolled out her philosophy, so now you can show her yours. It's all in conveying your beliefs in a relate-able and like-able way.

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  6. #14
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Jironasaurus, Thank you for the insightful reply.
    I texted her yesterday, from about three pm till 10pm, she has invited herself along for my next yoga class, so its good.

    With rapport and attraction, I think I was just confused at what attraction was, I agree with you completely Jironasaurus, attraction is all about inner game, I was going back over my text convo with her, and there was deffinitely attraction on her side, I know what I did wrong in my past, I'm usually too aggressive and straight forward with the sexual comments, instead of innuendos, suggestions, and giving her the opportunity to share her gutter mind. I've been lucky in the past and my frankness paid off, but it has been failing me miserably with the last few girls.

    I know why I'm attractive, and what I offer the opposite sex, I think I just rush it too much once I get my foot in the door.

    I'll keep your last comment in mind when she and I hang out. Its good to have a different perspective on the subject, and I think your approach is better than what I had planned.

    As far as not caring, its easy to talk about, but for me its more difficult to put into action. When I game, I game the whole room, everyone's attention is on me, and the more they react the more vociferous, and obnoxious I become. But when there is another alpha competing for the attention of the room, its hard for me to just do my usual thing, because I get really aggressive, and it kills my usual high energy. Like I said the issue isn't just this girl, in my eyes, hes competing for the whole territory.

    Thanks alot guys for the replies, this has been very helpful with my introspection. I'll keep the thread updated as things unfold.

  7. #15
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands View Post
    Jironasaurus, Thank you for the insightful reply.

    ...

    As far as not caring, its easy to talk about, but for me its more difficult to put into action. When I game, I game the whole room, everyone's attention is on me, and the more they react the more vociferous, and obnoxious I become. But when there is another alpha competing for the attention of the room, its hard for me to just do my usual thing, because I get really aggressive, and it kills my usual high energy. Like I said the issue isn't just this girl, in my eyes, hes competing for the whole territory.

    Thanks alot guys for the replies, this has been very helpful with my introspection. I'll keep the thread updated as things unfold.
    You're very welcome.

    You are right. It is indeed not easy to put into action.

    This is what the community terms as an "inner game issue". The best way I can think of is to really put yourself out of your own shoes, and practise a lot of self-restraint. If you get too aggressive, it will kill all the background work you did prior, and that will just be wasting your own effort.

    Good luck with your lady, by the way!

  8. #16
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    This is some really solid advice, I'll try my best to put it into action. I've got daddy issues, and this is some of the most fatherly advice I've gotten in my life. Who new you had to be taught how to be a man? So thanks for that.

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  10. #17
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands View Post
    Jironasaurus, Thank you for the insightful reply.
    As far as not caring, its easy to talk about, but for me its more difficult to put into action. When I game, I game the whole room, everyone's attention is on me, and the more they react the more vociferous, and obnoxious I become. But when there is another alpha competing for the attention of the room, its hard for me to just do my usual thing, because I get really aggressive, and it kills my usual high energy. Like I said the issue isn't just this girl, in my eyes, hes competing for the whole territory.

    Thanks alot guys for the replies, this has been very helpful with my introspection. I'll keep the thread updated as things unfold.
    It's easy to talk about it, but everyone has sticking points. Through practice, you can overcome them.
    The "don't give a fuck" mindset is one of the most important mindsets you should have (related to inner game), because that's the only way of not being needy.
    It's easy to practice: you know a girl, you say the first thing that comes to your mind that you find amusing -> she'll either laugh or not. Your reaction? You get serious -> you got affected by the reaction of someone you know for only 5 minutes. You don't get affected -> attractive behavior, since you're sticking to your frame.

    Try practicing it, not only with unknown people, but also with your friends, and remember something related to this mindset: it's only when you don't care about losing something that you get yourself in the best position of getting it. Because you're not overly emotional about it.
    Neediness, caring, whatever are just mindsets. So they can be changed.

  11. #18
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    I am sure most of us needed to be taught how to be a man. So, no worries there. Glad to help!

  12. #19
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    It's easy to talk about it, but everyone has sticking points. Through practice, you can overcome them.
    The "don't give a fuck" mindset is one of the most important mindsets you should have (related to inner game), because that's the only way of not being needy.
    It's easy to practice: you know a girl, you say the first thing that comes to your mind that you find amusing -> she'll either laugh or not. Your reaction? You get serious -> you got affected by the reaction of someone you know for only 5 minutes. You don't get affected -> attractive behavior, since you're sticking to your frame.

    Try practicing it, not only with unknown people, but also with your friends, and remember something related to this mindset: it's only when you don't care about losing something that you get yourself in the best position of getting it. Because you're not overly emotional about it.
    Neediness, caring, whatever are just mindsets. So they can be changed.
    GOLD.

    +REP

    Bill Preston (posting from the admin account cause I am to lazy to login to my own).

  13. #20
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Business, and pleasure

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    It's easy to talk about it, but everyone has sticking points. Through practice, you can overcome them.
    The "don't give a fuck" mindset is one of the most important mindsets you should have (related to inner game), because that's the only way of not being needy.
    The biggest problem with this mindset is... there will be times when women WANT you to care. They want you to show them that they are worth something to you.

    This is also the delicate place that people who learn PU find themselves in at times, because they believe that they "shouldn't give a fuck", and when the woman sees that and thinks they aren't important to the man at all, they leave.


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