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Thread: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

  1. #1
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Alright, so im in need of some help here friends. TBH, im pretty certain my ship has sailed, but Ill try anyway. Perhaps i might learn something.


    Ive been meeting this girl, friend of a friend, a couple of times at football games that we regularly visit with other friends that we have in common. Maybe a total of 10 times. Never really gave her a though besides some small talk now and then when we met. Even though we've barely been speaking theres been good kino (class 3) and good eye contact.

    Last weekend we met both friday and saturday, in the company of some other friends, and she seemed really in to me.


    So, the other day (maybe 3 days after we've met twice that weekend) i sent her a text which wrote: Hey, you and me should do something. What does your week look like? She replied after an hour with: "Hello! Im really busy at work this week. What did you have in mind? We'll meet on Sunday otherwise!". Later that night i replied with something like: screw work! And that i probably wont make it to the game on sunday. She never replied to that. FYI, before this we've only ever texted once, which was really short and had with practical issues to do.


    Yesterday we met at the game again with some other friends around. Gave her a quick hug and then we barely saw or spoke to each other. Didn't feel like chasing her, which i perhaps should have, but couldn't bother.


    How to proceed from here, if at all? Next time we'll see each other is in 9 days, if that matters.


    Thanks!

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Have you two anywhere anytime shared more than two sentences between each other? Your post isn't clear.

  3. #3
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Quote Originally Posted by lenric View Post
    Have you two anywhere anytime shared more than two sentences between each other? Your post isn't clear.
    Hello,

    Yes. A lot more than that. We've been meeting at these games maybe 10 times over the last 2 months, so theres been plenty of conversation. Kinda flirty as well at some points. Might ad that kinowhise theres been a lot of hugs, tuching etc.

    k

  4. #4
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Don't text. Meet and actually talk to her. It's a bit weird that you didn't talk to her when you guys met, since you said you guys should hang out.

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    Kissekatt (05-03-2016)

  6. #5
    Kissekatt is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jironasaurus View Post
    Don't text. Meet and actually talk to her. It's a bit weird that you didn't talk to her when you guys met, since you said you guys should hang out.
    Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. So what should i do when we next meet to save this? Telling her that shes bad at answering texts and that we should hang out sounds kinda late by now (then).

    k

  7. #6
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kissekatt View Post
    Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. So what should i do when we next meet to save this? Telling her that shes bad at answering texts and that we should hang out sounds kinda late by now (then).

    k
    You've already lost if you think you need to "save" this. There's nothing to save and having this mindset will make it certain that you screw up. You haven't lost your opportunity at all. You've made a few mistakes that were pretty minor but you have a shot if she's into you.

    Your first mistake was your second text "screw work" that was lame. You should have said something like "Right on. I was thinking of (some activity you like). We'll have to get together sometime when you're not so busy." That's it. Simple and to the point. If she likes you she'll want to spend time with you.

    Second mistake was not talking to her at the game. You should have made an effort to at least flirt with her a little when you saw her.

    Neither of these things are a big deal, but if you continue to do them they become a big deal strung together. If this girl touches you when she talks to you (or does things to touch you) she's totally into you. Quit worrying about it and try to hang out with her again.

    I almost forgot, don't tell her she's bad at answering texts. That tells her that it affected you when she didn't text you back. I have girls I'm dating tell me that all the time, and all that tells me is they're more invested then I am. Next time you text her start up a new conversation.

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  9. #7
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Apart from what Direct told you (spot on by the way, as always), reciprocate her kino (that way, you're validating her effort) and escalate it, so that she knows you're sexually interested.

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  11. #8
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Never ask a girl out before you build attraction.
    However; once attraction is established, she'll be anticipating the moment you ask her out.

    Also, never phrase it as "hanging out / chilling / going out / doing something / a date"... And never " ask" her... Always have a plan & TELL HER she totally needs to come with you to the cool place/event you're already planning on attending.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

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  13. #9
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    And for the love of god if there is alot of hugs and touches... build some sort of sexual tension.

  14. #10
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Still a shot, or in the friendzone?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kissekatt View Post
    Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. So what should i do when we next meet to save this? Telling her that shes bad at answering texts and that we should hang out sounds kinda late by now (then).

    k
    Nope.

    These are small little tricks that you don't need to be doing.

    You should be focusing on giving her more attention. Don't go full-on. That would be weird given that you don't really give her attention in general. Do a bit more chatting than usual. Just a bit. The flirting, touching etc... amp it up a bit too.

    Then part on a high. After that, text her. Tell her it was fun, and that you guys should arrange something again. Make a more solid plan this time.

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