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  • 2 Post By Kyl3
  • 1 Post By Tyrone1991

Thread: A dumb social dynamics question...

  1. #1
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    Default A dumb social dynamics question...

    So I don't get this at all and it might seem foolish or lame but its something very simple.

    So when you tell a joke or say something YOU find funny and other people don't laugh and you are the only one laughing, most people will say you made the joke and you are laughing at it and it seems like most of the time people will use this against you and dlv you.

    however!

    If I find it funny shouldn't I be laughing anyways and not give a flying f*ck because that's alpha behavior whereas trying to get them to laugh is rapport/validation seeking behavior?

    Thing is if I try to be myself I say stupid jokes that mainly only I find funny and begin laughing( so I try not to be myself often) it creates this weird energy, especially if I'm poking fun at people they will use it against me as "oh you're laughing at your own jokes." Also if you are in a big group does this make you seem kind ofl ike an outsider and make you look like you're not part of the group as you are not all collectively sharing the energy together and it's just you laughing, I mean I think that's sorta alpha as you dont give a f*ck.

    Yeah real lame question but I don't understand it exactly, please if someone could clarify this for me.

    Or is there something I could say like "I found it funny and I'm laughing about it, Idgaf if you all find it funny or not." ( though I imagine this pushes you away from the group even further. More confusion lol)

    Appreciate if you reply lol.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    You're kinda looking at it the wrong way, & it has to do with your inner game & confidence. Lol

    You should be assuming you're the alpha, or at least a dominant male in the group (expect that people respect you & value what you have to say), so you have control of the groups frame, or at least partial control. It's tough to put into words, but people in a group should be following your frame or feeding off your energy because of this. So if you're in a group & you tell a joke, & it's genuinely cheesy or funny, they should be laughing. If they're not, it's because somebody else is controlling the frame of the group and set a different dynamic (a serious one, etc). It gets much more complex if you have a guy who is acting like an alpha male (leader of the group with the most respect) setting a certain frame & you're trying to overtake his. Make sense? dealing with Alpha or dominant Guys is another thread that's already been discussed.

    if a girl tries to dlv or give you shit, (that wasn't funny Kyle etc) just respond back with outlandish things or something funny back.
    "that's not what you were saying last night"
    thats wierd, your mother thought differently during dinner last week
    oh my god you're such a downer, I can't believe I ever dated you. That's it we're breaking up, you can keep the kids & the Taylor Swift CD's.. I just want my hoodies back.

    Dont ever get defensive like idgaf if you laugh bc I think it's funny. That's just negative energy & defensive & it just comes across bad.

    You're right, you don't care if they laugh because you think it's funny & that's all that matters. Never seek to make people laugh, just say things that make you laugh, don't care what they think & eventually they will feed off your energy & find your humor funny too.

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    wildstorms (05-08-2016)

  4. #3
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    Wow! Such depth, much knowledge lol

    Thanks for the reply, Likes+ Thanks +

    I was completely oblivious to this, dammit, so its actually more of a frame game dependent on them feeding off your energy more than anything, it MAKES COMPLETE SENSE!

    If they are not laughing regardless even if it wasn't funny its either, its actually not funny or you have a bad frame, even it wasn't funny they will eventually begin to laugh if you have a good frame. Ok cool good stuff to know. Thanks bro!

  5. #4
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    You can try this also, I don't give people the time of day, if they critisise my joke, i joke about the critism or lack of sense of humour. "Oh your laughing at your own jokes" "There the only jokes to laugh too" "I would laugh at yours but you left them at home" "I was born with a sense of humour" alot of these situations you can turn into a Neg/Qualifier quite easy and change the whole game.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

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    wildstorms (05-09-2016)

  7. #5
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    LOL! the epic advice pro strikes again! LOL!

    Tyrone... LOL! your post made me laugh so hard! Still laughing LOL!

    this post turned into a dirty in game strategy, thank you sirs !

    Have a nice day!

  8. #6
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    As ^^^^ said, no need to be negative, that would be Beta. But if you can roll it into another Joke then that would be Alpha.

    if your in a group situation and some girl says that to you, just say to the rest of the group while making a hand gesture indicating your talking about her "geez, you can dress her up but can't take her anywhere"

    2 rules.
    1. Have Fun
    2. Fuck em
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  9. #7
    LA.OC.Skater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    I'd say you need to work on your humor. You are saying that you tell bad jokes. To me, that looks very un-Alpha. Looks like insecure, trying too hard. What you need is something good to lead with. Some good observational humor. You can't lead with junk. Then after you have some flow, you can drop a bad joke, and then look at people with a puzzled look and say, what, that was funny right? You need to have control firmly in hand before you can drop a bad joke. Once you have control and do it, you can make fun of yourself. But bad to lead with. UNLESS you can actually follow it up with something good. Otherwise some good FIRST, then something corny.

  10. #8
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    In your situation I would drop the Jokes, as to them it could make you look like an Attention Seeker which is a great opportunity for them to do their best to freeze you out.

    Instead I would concentrate much more on having a great conversation with the guys you hang out with and nothing gets a conversation going like it does when you ask someones advice and get them to talk while you listen.

    And I do mean listen! not just go through the motions.

    The number one is to have eye to eye contact and fix your eyes on their eyes like a laser and always be at the ready, with a great follow up question and then draw other people into the Conversation as well.

    Cars and Girls are two that never fail but don't monopolise it, let them do the Talking and just keep the pot on the boil, by randomly firing questions at other people in your group.

    To anyone who doesn't know this may seem more like Beta behavior but it is most definately NOT!

    Why?

    Because you are the 'Ringmaster' the one that's holding Court and once you learn to do this, the group will seem pretty dull when you are not around.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  11. #9
    InFullSail.com is offline Dating Coach
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    Default Re: A dumb social dynamics question...

    From the perspective of this Brit, the objective is to have a good laugh a la self-amusement + IDGAF attitude but also to convey that I don't take myself too seriously and that if I laugh it's not because I think I'm really amusing but because I'm a bit random and I'm ok with that. If you're not weird/creepy and someone takes issue with this then really that is their problem. Simples


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