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Thread: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

  1. #11
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Hi Abandonallhope

    I always had the feeling, in the back of my mind that She was probably going to go regardless and so under the circumstances, it may be best to let her go with 'your blessing' so She can get this other guy out of her system.

    With any luck She'll find his company boring and as such looking forward to getting back to you.

    But I am wondering if you could find out where She's staying, without arousing any suspicion on her part, in order to see if She is staying in a double or a single room.

    Then depending on what you have found out, ask her that question sometime after She's got home and see what She says.

    If it turns out that She's lying I would dump her on the Spot, though hopefully your fears will be unfounded.

    Its a horrible situation that has also happened to me, when I had to look after my Mom who was ill and as such let my girlfriend go on Holiday on her own, rather than come across as being selfish.

    When She got back She told me that She Cheated on me and said that She had made a mistake and asked if I would give her another chance but She wasn't there when I needed her most and it also killed our Sex life, so I dumped her.

    She really didn't leave me any choice.

    Though hopefully you will have better luck than I did.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  2. #12
    flyguyinMN is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    She went on the trip anyhow?

    Ditch the bitch and get someone else dude, that's stupid on so many levels.

    She clearly has no respect for you and you have no respect for yourself if you just allow it.

    These PUA techniques aren't so you can be a"closet AFC" and just allow a woman to treat you like an idiot anyway, they are to show you that if a woman is willing to treat you like crap, then they aren't worth it, because there are 3.2 billion more where she came from. And you can get any of them.

    You look like the biggest wuss in her eyes, I promise you. She will walk all over you until she dumps you for the online dude.

  3. #13
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Now I haven't been in this forums or been active for a very long time. So this is a hello to everyone old and new to the forums.

    Now on topic. You've only known this girl for what 5 months and been going out with her for 3? Is that long enough for her to build a strong emotional attachment to you? For some women yes and for others no. People are always looking for the next big thing. Thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies will always push themselves for their next highs even if it meant jumping from a taller building than the one they jumped from previously.

    If a girl always had one foot pointed in the opposite direction then she will walk through the exits as soon as the next best thing walks by. She's known that guy a lot longer than she has known you. I find it far easier to create emotional attachment online than being physically present. Harder to express your feelings online but you can rewrite and edit messages to create a semblance of it which eventually becomes a reality. We have a whole section here on text and online gaming to help you with that! Online gaming and texting eliminates the need to be quick on your feet as you can take as much time as you want to stir emotions with your messages.


    That guy has had 3 years to build a strong bond with your gf. A bond strong enough for her to want to travel 600km to meet a total stranger. Enough for her to risk her own safety to do that and she's going alone to stay in a motel. That enough should not only trigger red flags but your alert status should turn to DEFCON 1.


    She is going to see this guy under the illusion of a 3 year long distance relationship. Who knows what they've talked about in those 3 years and perhaps this is her way of making that a reality by making it physical.


    Should you stay with her? How long till she uses you as a springboard for another "fact finding" crap.

    Should you leave? Can you handle losing her and being alone again?


    If she is still going or she has gone already, I'd wait till she comes back then dump her at the door step. You are not the welcome mat at the doorstep that she rubs her feet on everytime she wants to mess around and that's what she's doing, messing around. She doesn't respect you as a person enough to want to stay. Even if that guy turns out to be a bore and what not, that doesn't justify her actions to want to come back to you. She is taking you for granted and is trying to keep you around as a safe shore in case the other sea turns turbulent.

    Look at it this way, you aren't born in this world to please anyone but yourself. You invite a partner to share your life. Not to make them YOUR life. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

  4. #14
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    If she is inexperienced then you could go "Honest" and say:

    "You have had an emotional long distance relationship with this guy for 3 years, in that time you have chosen to date me, now in the midst of our relationship you want to meet him alone, in a different city for 3 days with such a long history. After some thought, I have become uncomfortable with that idea but have no right to tell you what to do, this is how I feel, you decide what you want to do."

    If she values you and your relationship she won't jeopardise it.
    If she doesn't value you, then show her the same value.

    if it's a matter of inexperience then being honest is best because that trains her on how to act in the future:
    Should I give him my number?
    Should I go upto his for coffee?
    Should I accept his drink?

    Honesty is great in relationships because you give them the power to treat you the way you want so they respect it and if they fail, there the cunt.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  5. #15
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone1991 View Post
    If she is inexperienced then you could go "Honest" and say:

    "You have had an emotional long distance relationship with this guy for 3 years, in that time you have chosen to date me, now in the midst of our relationship you want to meet him alone, in a different city for 3 days with such a long history. After some thought, I have become uncomfortable with that idea but have no right to tell you what to do, this is how I feel, you decide what you want to do."

    If she values you and your relationship she won't jeopardise it.
    If she doesn't value you, then show her the same value.

    if it's a matter of inexperience then being honest is best because that trains her on how to act in the future:
    Should I give him my number?
    Should I go upto his for coffee?
    Should I accept his drink?

    Honesty is great in relationships because you give them the power to treat you the way you want so they respect it and if they fail, there the cunt.


    Ah I remember my days. My girlfriend did the same thing. She never met up with them, but she did talk to her ex. It is safe to say, it wasn't just a hey what is up kind of text. Whenever the relationship went rocky, she would hit him up for emotional validation. I found out. I let her know what I thought. She still kept doing it anyway. I even engaged in the same behaviors with one girl. She got pissed at me for that. I was like, it is the same thing you are doing....she said "it is different, we are comfortable with each other"


    I just said be comfortable being single. I dumped her ass. Kinda shit was that.

  6. #16
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Mr.Assertive..... Lol

    I remember my first "Validation Seeker" ...... Actually still talk to her today.. I still got her qualifying lol. About 3 years now I will simple tell her how my weekend was and she will make a story up or exaggerate it.

    Thread - Once you tell them once. No matter how much begging they invest, you gave them the chance to prove themselves when you told them, if she doesn't respect it, or values the other guy over you then you owe her nothing and know you ended it like a boss: she is made aware, she does it anyway, you fired her. But since you wrote she's in experienced, that factor does have to be considered

    I remember I was with 1 of my ex's on the street and a Red Ferrari drove past us and she said "I'd leave you for that guy and his car" and I ended the relationship by saying "Idiots date idiots, if you both want to spend half a million on a car that doesn't even have a ciggerette lighter then you both deserve each other, thank you for exposing yourself before we got to serious"

    Everytime I see her now if single: "where's your Ferrari?"
    Everytime I see her now if taken: "does he drive a Ferrari?"

    She hates it because although it's been 7 years and she's grown up, I hold it on her and it's embarrassing for her to Be treated like she is still the same as 7 years ago. Then she try's to explain, then I just neg her even more.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #17
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Lol, I think women have gotten away with bad behaviors so many times that they forget real men exist. And when they run into them, their world is distorted and they try SO hard to make it right again until they finally fail to realize it is not going to happen. At that point you have them in a loop with you, them trying to impress you and it is never enough because you know the type of girl she is and if you give her the upper hand, she will run away with it for miles and miles. I remember one girl i haven't even slept with I told her "NO" when she wanted to leave the club right away to the other club. She had been at the club for awhile and I just got there with my boy and she wanted to leave right when I just got there to another spot 15 minutes away.


    I told her no, i am going to enjoy myself here for a bit. Her face was priceless, she was so shocked that she even let it slip and said "I am not used to being told no, I don't know how to take this"

    I told her to find another ride. And she was fronting like she had soooo many friends. I said alright have fun. I left her there and me and my boy went to go play pool. 30 minutes later, she was still in the venue hahahaha. I was like heyyyyy what is up.




    The ex that I ended it with I removed her from facebook. She got at me for that. Then went on the offensive. At the time I was not doing so good with job search, I got too comfortable in the relationship and I gained weight. She told me I would not amount to anything....lol.

    She tried adding me back that year. I ignored it. She dropped it. Fast forward to 2 years later and she added me again. This time, I have a new job. I am gaining my physical body back and I have a picture with me and 5 girls. It is safe to say she was proven wrong big time. Her friend keeps asking my boy about me "is he still a player or how is he doing"

  8. #18
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Ask your "GF" how SHE would feel if you were spending time & money traveling to meet another chick....

    My advice is to bail.
    If a girl can't make you her priority, she ain't the one.

    Stand up for yourself & tell her "That's not gonna fly well with me. You're free to make your own decisions, but know that those decisions may come with consequences."


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  9. #19
    AbandonAllHope is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Wow thanks for the support! I've read it all.

    I've been thinking about it, letting it all go and stuff. Decided that I'll act cool for now but when she comes back It'll be it.
    Talked to my friend that got me into the game and he suggested the same thing, said that he never saw me like this and that he also has no clue how'd he feel about it.

    Female friends said that it's mostly inexperience and since it's present, I have to "shape" her how I want her to be.
    Well, I haven't had much time to do so after all.

    One more question; I've been struggling with this and I guess that I'm not alone. How do you guys "cut it"? In my case, there's no in between. It's either I give a damn or I do not. Considering I'm in a relationship, I can't just be with her and fuck around with everyone else. I care or I do not care. Is that a correct approach? How do you do it?

    PS: I was a dog, I've felt the karma and it's not pleasant.

  10. #20
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girlfriend meeting up with another guy

    Hi Abandonallhope

    I've been there and done that and its really hard to let go of someone you are fond of.

    I can see it from her point of view, She's known this Online Guy a long time and She's obviously very curious to know what he is like and I think that all She really wants is just to square the Circle and meet this guy that She has been writing to for Years.

    Whereas you are a relative newcomer in her life, so maybe you haven't established yourselves as an 'Item' just at the moment.

    The problem with girls in general is that they are very trusting 'Let me explain' You can give a girl a ton of BS and simply lie your Ass off and they will believe every word, because they are very gullible in that way.

    So I have no doubt in my mind, that She believes that Online guy is no more than a friend and nothing more but will Online guy seduce her? we don't know, although I don't have any doubt that he will try it on.

    In some ways not knowing what is going on is worse than knowing, as your mind will be playing mental gymnastics but since She thinks its all innocent (which it could be) She probably doesn't realise the hurt and anguish She is causing you.

    So are you prepared to add Online guy to the allowed list? (what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve about)

    Like you would with a Hot Celeb, that you would like to bed, if the chance came up.

    There are lots of guys suggesting you should dump her (including me at one stage) but if you put her good points and her bad points on the Scales, do Her good points outweigh Her bad points by a good margin?

    Also could you replace her, with someone else in a Snap, or would it take time to try and find a replacement?

    (1) You could dump Her on the Spot when She gets back and then watch how She reacts.
    If She just walks and doesn't look back then you are well rid of her.

    But if She really gets upset and then starts crying her eyes out, then you could tell her its all her fault, for going to see Online guy, with no thought for your feelings and then guage her reaction as to how much She really cares and wants you.

    (2) You could just hang onto her for the time being (in other words just use her until you find someone else)

    (3) You could just let it go and then act Cool, as if nothing has happened (knowing that She owes you one if a HB turns up)

    (4) If She ever does this again then Dump Her! (not before She goes or this will drive her into his arms But when She gets back)

    None of this helps I'm sure but a problem Shared is a problem halved, so they say.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least


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