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  1. #1
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    Hey,

    So there was this girl who I was scheduled to meet up with tonight. We matched on tinder a while back, and we was eager reaching out making plans, but actually at the time I was working a lot. I deleted the app and like a month or two later rematched and she still had my number. She thought I was the one who was really busy. Anyways I don't think she is a serial dater and seemed very down. I scheduled for wed last thursday. We've had great banter, and I was excited to meet her. So after some banter last night I said something about tomorrow (today) then followed up midday to see if we were still on. Our date was at 7pm so she finally reached out at 5 saying is it too late to cancel I feel like poop, how about sunday. Pros: She suggested another day, and I actually think I'm coming down with a cold and almost didn't want to flake cause I knew with all our back and forth for months this would probably be the last straw. Con: She didn't apologize, and sunday is a ways away.

    I figure maybe she got her period. I'm talking to other girls so its not a case onesitis or anything , but I thought I'd reach out to get some advice on how to respond.

    There seems to be some different schools of thoughts. Some say don't respond cause you are the alpha male and let it mess with her mind. I've never done that cause it seemed like I'm pouting in a way. In the past I've gotten upset but thats not good. Do I just say ok sundays fine. This one flake isn't the end of the world, but its a common behavior of women in my city.

  2. #2
    Dugly is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    Say sunday is fine, but just it. Maybe something really happened and that's why she couldn't go. We all have our schedules and setbacks. Just don't think about it. Say sunday is fine and don't send anything else. On sunday SHE will talk to YOU to check if things are still on. If she doesn't. Move on, there are hundreds more matches on tinder man

  3. #3
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    Don't overthink the process. Respond however you want.

  4. #4
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    "cause I knew with all our back and forth for months this would probably be the last straw."
    Who cares?! Remember; you're the prize! If it's the last straw then that's her loss!
    She suggested another day so I would take this as an IOI for now. There's a good chance you're just overthinking what she's saying.
    You could have responded with something like:
    All good! I was actually about to ask you the same thing! I think I'm coming down with a cold myself etc. and depending on your personality, you could add "I would hate to take you out and have you get the uncontrollable urge to kiss me and then blame me for you getting sick"
    This will set the conversation up for some fun and a good frame for when you do get her out.

    There seems to be some different schools of thoughts. Some say don't respond cause you are the alpha male and let it mess with her mind. I've never done that cause it seemed like I'm pouting in a way. In the past I've gotten upset but thats not good. Do I just say ok sundays fine. This one flake isn't the end of the world, but its a common behavior of women in my city.
    There may be other issues at play if you're seeing this as 'common behaviour' but your best bet in 99% of these situations is to remain non-reactive! (See the context of the response above)

    Here's how I handled a similar situation quite a while ago that may be useful as an example:
    Advice On Strange Last Minute Flake.. Kinda Urgent!!

  5. #5
    AbandonAllHope is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    the posts above.

    And remember, if she says 7pm you say 7:45. You set the time, good luck!

  6. #6
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    she finally reached out at 5 saying is it too late to cancel I feel like poop.

    Yes, it is too late to cancel, see you at 7pm.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #7
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    Yeah PUAforums was right my ex-gf sucked but the thing you guys forgot to mention is she never flaked. All the new girls are flaking like crazy no no it's not cuz my game sucks.

    Same thing here bud my date last weekend flaked hard so I totally rage quitted on her and let her know my full disatisifaction

  8. #8
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    But that's not to say I ruined it surprisingly it's still going by some miracle who knows. She asked me out again this weekend we made up after the fight but she flaked once...she will flake again. Once a flaked always a flaker. Maybe these types of girls want less serious engagements. Besides my girl before that flaked 3 times and I hurled an argument at her but she said wait till the summer? I was like F that so I ditched her and the new chick is a flaker fuuuuuu me. I am going dark on her and not hitting her up all week but especially not on Saturday our "supposed make up date"

  9. #9
    Somebody is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Girl flaked on first date. How to respond

    Flaked on you on first date? Give her one more chance. She flakes again, then forget her. You don't need her wasting your time, and you need to let her know that, maybe by stop contacting her altogether. If she flakes twice she's not interested anyways, so you need to pull back.


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