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  • 1 Post By Mr. Assertive
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Thread: Advice for getting back into the game and getting laid

  1. #1
    unitm is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Advice for getting back into the game and getting laid

    Hi,

    briefly: 5 years ago I found a really cool group of guys that I ran game with. Cold approach stuff. We toured different malls and bars at night and did really well for ourselves. They were also fantastic guys to hang around so that's a bonus.

    Then I went to college. First week, I got into an LTR with a senior. She was an 8 and I really liked her. I did really poorly in college and ended up dropping out. My anxiety levels were through the roof and I was coping with depression. She was there for me and I loved her.

    I left college, we broke up. The hit to my self-esteem followed me around for awhile. I lost my license and my vehicle. I eventually bucked up and got 3 jobs, which I'm still working at.

    My abundance mentality was shot. Months without pussy.

    Now I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that I can't wave off and I'm really hoping some people here can throw me advice:
    • No time to cold approach other girls - no vehicle, paying off bills, full-time work.
    • No abundance means I often come off as a beta.
    • Sometimes coming off as a beta in environments where I work with beautiful women is keeping my abundance away from me more.


    I mean, cold approach doesn't seem like the only way to get girls anymore. I see my buddies around me get sex without it being an issue or a big deal. But I'm not one of those guys, even though I was. I'm afraid to swerve on people around me because I'm afraid it'll catch up to me and my reputation(shitting where I work).

    Vets of the game... taking a break from it and coming back. How did you get back to the momentum where you used to be?

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    Jaguar (06-23-2016)

  3. #2
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Advice for getting back into the game and getting laid

    Keep working and keep living your life. I am not saying that women go after these things, I am saying this to help you get out of your rut. You need to understand the balance. Have some goals to achieve to give yourself a personal confidence boost. Find something that gives you that confidence high. For me, it is running. After I run for 40 minutes I feel like I am on top of the world and i could keep running. This translates to confidence since I know it is a big achievement for myself.



    And don't freakin game at work, work should be a place of work and not a place of drama.

    I was on a dry spell for like 3.5 weeks after my breakup. I was prepared to fail, I went out 9 times in those 3 weeks with my dick in my hand. I knew I had to get through that shit. In the meantime I got a new job, started going to the gym harder and made sure I was updating my wardrobe. Anything to give me confidence and a lifestyle change that I WOULD like, not to impress women but SO I would be happy. And once the girls started rolling in, they complimented me on what I have done in 3.5 weeks. I am probably one of the most determined individuals you will ever meet.

  4. #3
    unitm is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Advice for getting back into the game and getting laid

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Assertive View Post
    Keep working and keep living your life. I am not saying that women go after these things, I am saying this to help you get out of your rut. You need to understand the balance. Have some goals to achieve to give yourself a personal confidence boost. Find something that gives you that confidence high. For me, it is running. After I run for 40 minutes I feel like I am on top of the world and i could keep running. This translates to confidence since I know it is a big achievement for myself.



    And don't freakin game at work, work should be a place of work and not a place of drama.

    I was on a dry spell for like 3.5 weeks after my breakup. I was prepared to fail, I went out 9 times in those 3 weeks with my dick in my hand. I knew I had to get through that shit. In the meantime I got a new job, started going to the gym harder and made sure I was updating my wardrobe. Anything to give me confidence and a lifestyle change that I WOULD like, not to impress women but SO I would be happy. And once the girls started rolling in, they complimented me on what I have done in 3.5 weeks. I am probably one of the most determined individuals you will ever meet.
    I appreciate the quick and useful response. The other forums are shit for that.

    The thing is, I'm a lot more confident in myself now. I have business ideas. Ambitions. Every day of the week, I'm trying to make it happen. I've been lifting weights for a year. I have a fruitful life.

    But I don't have women. I know it sounds shallow but it makes me feel lousy, seeing my other buddies pick up girls with ease, at work, high, without even trying at all. Here I am "working on myself" and doing a damn good job of it, but I'm not seeing that represented in women.

    My fruitful life - all these business projects I've set up around me - in fact lead me to consuming more time. I'm still discovering the balance you described but it looks barren. And the thing is, I'm only 25. I'm not even 30 yet! I still have major room for growth... but I'm not enjoying my youth, and I'm severely envying other people that are.

    (However, you have given me some things to contemplate. Thank you.)

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    Jaguar (06-23-2016)

  6. #4
    alphabeta is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Advice for getting back into the game and getting laid

    Hi Unitm

    You've lost your Vehicle and you've also gone and lost your license.

    For whatever reason that happened, its your fault and you have got to own it, then when you get your license back be very determined to never ever go and make that mistake again.

    The only saving grace you have in that situation, is that lots of guys your age don't drive, so while your situation 'sucks' its not the end of the World regards getting a girlfriend.

    The next thing that you need to do, is to not to panic, over owing money and having so many jobs that you need to hold down.

    So what you need to do right now, is to get yourself 'Centered' and properly focused.

    People have been through much worse than that and still come out on top.

    Fortunately you have got Youth on your side and I don't know many of your age who haven't properly F****d up at some time but looking again on the Positive side, it seems you seem to know it and as such are doing all you can to get your life back on track.

    Instead of just aimlessly wandering round in a 'fools paradise' by thinking that everything is ok when its not.

    So give yourself Credit for at least that much.

    Also remember that everyone starts off as Beta, which may mean you have to rewind, get yourself re-centered and then Start from Scratch.

    But having said that, how do you know that your Beta? and does that really matter anyway?

    How many Girlfriends do you want? One of those is more than enough for most people and too much for some!

    And don't let others convince you otherwise.

    Though most of all remember what I am going to tell you now.

    It's only what you say to yourself, when other People stop Talking.

    So you need to be your own Person and not follow the Crowd.

    Sometimes People who F***Up are the most interesting, as they have something about them, that other guys don't have.

    So maybe there could be a bid of a 'Bad Ass' in there, which I think we all agree is very attractive to girls, even though they all try and deny it.

    In which case don't look for excuses: Too many Jobs, Not enough money, Too little time.

    Celebrate the fact that you are different and if you work around Hot Girls, stop trying to convince yourself you're Beta (It's only a word!) not a Lifestyle.

    So if you see a girl you fancy then 'Flirt' with her, build a rapport and then ask her out.

    Even Beta guys can get a girlfriend! but even so I just don't think you're really one of those, so just stop trying to convince yourself you really are.

    Then over time you will find that all the pieces start to fall in place, because at least you know where you Screwed up.
    The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to alphabeta For This Useful Post:

    unitm (08-04-2016)


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