Re: How to be good at conversations
In order to be a Good or even a Great Conversationalist you need to know a little about a lot, as that way you are able to stop a Conversation from dying on its 'Backside' as you can keep switching subjects in order to keep it alive.
Then once you find a Subject that interests your 'Target' you can then lock on to this, as you start to build a 'Rapport' while at the same time be at the ready to switch onto something else at the moment you can sense a Conversation dying out.
A bit like stirring the Embers of a Fire.
But approaching a girl requires a Certain 'Technique' or in a 'Nano Second' She will be thinking Oh! Oh! That guys trying to hit on me!
At which point her defences will go up and as such could be very hard to break down.
So one of the favourite ploys that I use, is to come in from 'Left Field' and Start the Conversation, in a way that She is not expecting, as this disengages her 'Logical Brain' and as such can make the job a whole lot easier.
This is an example of a genuine Conversation that could have led on to a date.
They had recently done a refurbishment of my Local Store (which was a disaster!) as it made it very hard to find stuff.
So on the way out with my Shopping, I caught the eye of the girl at Customer Services (A mutual Smile and IOI from her)
In response to this I walked up to her and Started the Conversation with these words:
Me: Its not your fault.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: You didn't design this Store.
Her: Oh! how can I help you.
Me: I've been here since 8 am trying to find the Onions and I think 'You' could have done a better job, because girls are usually better at that sort of thing.
Her: Do you think so?
Me: No I know so! Your Hair looks amazing and you make that dress look hot! (flirt! flirt!)
Tell me where did you get it done, as who ever cut and styled your hair ought to be given a medal, it just looks awesome! (flirt! flirt!)
Then we spent the next 10 minutes talking about Hairdressers and Her Outfit. (All about her and not about me!)
The Result: A massive amount of 'Rapport' built up without even trying and I could have switched the subject at any time I liked and kept her talking and 'Interested' as She could immediately sense that I was very different from all the other guys she got to talk to.
I know I could have pulled her but She looked a bit too young (about 18) so I decided to politely excuse myself.
Me: Got to be going now but nice to talk to you.
Her: See you at 8 o/c Tomorrow then.
Me: Are you sure you can wait that long? (Big Smile)
At that point I could have pushed the Button and said I'm taking you out! (my favourite line) girls love that direct no nonsence approach.
But as I say She was too young, so I decided to pass on her.
So if you are not a great conversationalist, you could try the 'Left Field Approach' It works for me!
But do get into the habit of talking to everyone you meet both guys and girls 'The more that you practice, the easier it gets'
The Power in a Relationship always goes to the one who cares the least