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  • 1 Post By Mike413
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Thread: Does it really require this much effort?

  1. #1
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    Default Does it really require this much effort?

    Hey y'all

    I've just been thinking recently and said to myself that I'll never trust a girl again, they are not trust worthy. As I was reading a little while ago, man is a creature of his word, woman is not.

    So if the emotion is not right, women may even lie to make it right, to avoid discomfort. (They are born liars, I'm not saying men are perfect either though, don't get me wrong.) That's why when I started out I felt PUA was to much work and that it was to much "manipulation." But I learned pretty much all social interaction is manipulation and that women are real tricky, playing the game keeps them in a very safe position, so learning the game is very essential. What PUA really is, is a means for you to get better as a person. Mystery said, "Let it enrich your life, not define it."

    - A girl has to earn trust through pure hard commitment from you - Screw that soulmate crap, that's only in fairy tails. This is real life man, this ain't no movie.

    So how do you balance this out, is it possible to get high commitment from her with low commitment coming from your side? Without trying so hard, cause women don't really seem worth all the trouble.

    Maybe I dable too much in the philosophical, strategy side of it, and don't go out gaming enough, maybe I've never actually had a real relationship ever, but am I really missing out? (Yeah girls apparently have great potential to make me happy too) But should I also not consider playing the game from a standpoint that keeps myself in a safe dominant position? Even worse I'm extremely picky about women too, I have to many standards. I just don't know sometimes. I refuse to settle for low quality garbage, that doesn't reciprocate well.

  2. #2
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    You sound like me. I tend to overthink it also.

    It's really all just a game and the sooner we(notice I didn't say you)accept that the better. We all need to just learn to have the "duck's back" mentality and not be rattled by the inevitable flaky and unpredictable nature of females. From what I understand women are biologically wired to test men and to respond emotionally to us and to make snap judgements based on our behavior. The stronger and more secure we appear the safer and more relaxed they feel. If we act like we can't handle them then that makes us look weak in their eyes. The less reactive you are to them(and in general)and the less serious you take them the better. Also, always be willing to walk away as soon as she shows she isn't worth your time(ie she doesn't act interested, is not giving you the respect you deserve etc). However, there is a difference between walking away after you realize she is wasting your time and walking away because you feel she is rejecting you. Always try to make sure she understands she is not qualified to be with you and you are the one doing the rejecting and not her. It's possible she might even chase after you but why would you want someone like that anyway?

    So yes it's all a game. Unfortunately(or fortunately)we are suppose to be the strong ones and not whine or complain. It's very tempting to do this but it's really not in our best interest. Live in the moment and don't complain about how unfair it is or how wacky women are. It should be a given to us by now that women are unpredictable and make emotional decisions and lack the backbone that we do(or should if we don't). I'm not sexist but men and women are wired differently. Men are usually the ones to be rejected because of our differences and to be honest we are probably better able to handle it than they are. So good for them that they get to reject the guys they think aren't right for them. Chances are she's not right for you either.

    So my final thought is to not take any of it seriously and just go out and have fun. That being said it's important to qualify the crap out of her, make sure she knows she is not quite living up to your expectations or standards, tell her you like certain things about her(not based on her looks), be playful and let her know that you might consider her as a future girlfriend but only if she doesn't act like a total brat.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Mike413 For This Useful Post:

    wildstorms (06-28-2016)

  4. #3
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    As for your question about getting her to put more effort than you do it is possible but you need to build comfort and trust first. It takes time. She has to see that you are worthy of her time. The more you invest in her the more she will invest in you. You need to get her to invest in you and the interaction. For starters get her to tell you jokes or stories or tell you about something fun or interesting that happened recently. The more time she takes to tell you these things the more she is invested in you and the more likely she will view you as the prize and someone worthy of her time. However, you can't just expect her to do it automatically. It will take time for her to feel comfortable enough to want to want to open up to you.

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    hahaha I'm really embarrassed to be honest. Thanks for the great reply, you are a kind soul. Very well written. I appreciate it.

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    I don't trust people well, I fear attachment and being hurt I'd guess... causing me to not keep relationships well, that's the problem I'd guess.

  7. #6
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    It sounds like you need to work on inner game first and foremost. You will never be successful with women until you get the inner game taken care of. The thing is it's a work in progress and there's always room for improvement. So be confident, be relaxed, be social but most importantly put the effort into actually trying to start a conversation and meet people.

  8. #7
    wildstorms's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike413 View Post
    It sounds like you need to work on inner game first and foremost. You will never be successful with women until you get the inner game taken care of. The thing is it's a work in progress and there's always room for improvement. So be confident, be relaxed, be social but most importantly put the effort into actually trying to start a conversation and meet people.
    Yeah I always thought of inner game as mainly relating only to approach anxiety, but there are other deeper things that can fall under this category of game. Didn't see it that way, but it completely makes sense. I am great at sparking the flame but keeping it alive is where I struggle, even with friends at times.

  9. #8
    Mike413 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    Inner game relates to anything that has to do with how you internalize your external environment. So if a woman says something to you that you don't like how you internalize it and how you handle it is part of inner game. It's less about tactics and more about self control and self awareness. One tip to be successful with this is to not be reactive. Let people do the crap they do and don't let it effect you. It's all about them and not you. Women will be attracted to a man who doesn't whine and complain about everything and doesn't get upset about stuff(not just stuff she does but in general). If she is with you while you are driving and a car pulls in front of you and you don't react or hit the horn she will be impressed. "Wow, most of my ex boyfriends would have given him the finger."

  10. #9
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    Yeah honestly, I just need to start going out gaming and let some people into my life. I act all tough outside but the truth is maybe I have a soft heart. I moved from the big city to a lame small town without many venues (which I used to excuse myself from gaming all together). But I'm going to be going to the starbucks near my house seems like lots of girls flock there, going to turn it into a daily routine and approach atleast one girl maybe even two. Like yday my soft @ss couldn't open this girl who fully stopped after seeing me when she walked in and I was walking out and held the door for me, great AI that I wasted but I just went to scope the venue lol. I won't be alone and cold this winter, this sh*t has to end. Best to play the game with no attachment and a cold heart, until she has earned it, no use being soft, it never worked for me. Thanks Mike.

  11. #10
    LA.OC.Skater is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Does it really require this much effort?

    Don't trust what a woman says, trust what she does. And learn to manipulate her as much as you can. That is the lay of the land. Get with it or hide under your bed. And never get complacent with a woman. Unless you are doing a Push on her, remember that you have to seduce her all over from time to time to get her back into that lovey dovey mode.


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