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  1. #1
    lmv122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    After only one date and a ton of texting and even talking on phone, we plan for a Sunday and she text me saturday night that she's in my neighborhood. Dinner date is one a day earlier than planned. She had a long day and faded fast but we still stayed out relatively late considering we started in the early evening. She headed home in cab and we text the whole way time before she gets in. Next day we talk on phone and I tell her my plans including meeting her later as originally planned. She said "unless you come pick me up... I've done so much traveling this weekend". I agreed to pick her up after some "thinking about it" and it's on. I get her... we go to my place and hang out... long story short... K-close fail... she likes the way we are... gets emotional about a recent heart break and wants things to stay how they are.

    THEN.. next day we're texting and she apologizes if she offended me... and dances between "you've become a close friend" and "sometimes you have to decide whether you jump into bed or give it time to cultivate" sending a weird mixed signal and we still are making plans to hang out.

    Next day... I'm silent... get a text from her in the evening checking in. Short convo before she goes to bed.. following day we're texting again and I ask her if something else was wrong... she says she's still worried because "the guy I've been seeing these past few months and I are getting more serious and I am hoping that our friendship can still stay in tact and continue on the path we've been creating. As you know I am open to those that have shown me their worth and have let you in. In the past when I have done that with other male friends and it didn't head into a romantic arena they totally bailed".

    Sounds like she wants me around, as a friend and not to bail on her.

    Feedback please.

  2. #2
    jbardu87 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    sounds like you 1itised it...go out on dates with other girls and make your self much more busy. then she will see you as socially active and want to gain your attention back. if your friends on myspace or facebook post up pictures of you with these other women.

    sounds like everytime shes bored your there to aid in relieving her boredom. sometimes you need to tell her you cant do something. it makes you seem less attainable.

  3. #3
    lmv122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    Great advice... so to expand... we seem to be texting daily... even when I pull back she text me. I'll definitely go out, be with other girls etc... it's just weird because she still wants to come over and cook a meal, go to this "spot" to have this really good coffee etc and while I can be more busy... am I don't know if I should accept friendship or continue to try and build attraction or if that is a futile effort.

    In short.. I do like her, I'm not going to get one-itis about it but if she's remaining prominent and available to the point where she's still making plans... I'm curious how to best play it and what ways to build attraction given the scenario described. I like the challenge to be honest.

  4. #4
    lmv122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    ... but I'm also mindful to not waste too much time in the wrong mindframe.

  5. #5
    jbardu87 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    id say just go with being her friend. worst case scenario you can try and get with her friends. best case scenario you have a new friend that you like spending time with.

    however, you could still try and build attraction with her. but i feel like in order to do that you would need to freeze her out and make her chase you. just like you would do to a hotter girl. then when you guys get up for that cup of coffee or when shes in the kitchen making dinner with you. you can use some kino to show your interest. take her hand and lead her to the counter. put your hand on the small of her back when your walking into your casa. maybe ask her for a massage or tell her you have been practicing and wanted to try it out on her.

    idk its kinda late and im tired but i think that would work

  6. #6
    lmv122 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Another "friend zone" story, advice on sharpening up

    She called me and we spoke for an hour and a half. I'm invited over to her place so she can cook dinner. She lives with her mom and it's pretty much explicitly a friendship.

    Definitely a first for me. We'll see. Can't be mad at that.
    Last edited by Bill Preston; 02-03-2011 at 10:42 AM.


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