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  1. #1
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question thoughts, advice?

    Met this girl 3 months ago at a club, danced with her a little and then parted ways. Added her on facebook asking if i could see her again, to which she said yes. After three weeks of trying to set something up (her parents were in town one week, she was out of town visiting fam another week, etc) we finally met up on a weeknight for a one hour coffee date. good conversation, I walked her home after and we hugged goodnight. I should mention here that we live in apartment buildings that are a 3 minute walk from each other.

    Her bday was that weekend at some club and she invited me and told me to bring friends. None of my friends were available and i didn't feel like going by myself when she would be busy with her friends anyways, so i declined.

    I told her i would make it up to her by taking her out for dinner, but again she went out of town visiting fam, she got the flu for a week, etc. Legit excuses, but just frustrating, then in mid december we both went out of town for vacation. I tried to set something up in the days before we left because otherwise it would be a month before we came back. We set something up but she called that day and said she had to cancel, giving a really really weak excuse, but a legit one non-the less. I got bold and asked her straight up if she wanted to see me again. It seemed this took her aback and she said she did, but she wasnt looking for a commitment (she also mentioned that she needs time to get to know someone before she can commit). I guess she thought i was trying to get her to commit (no idea where that came from), so i told her i wasn't, i was just looking to get to know her better and i didnt see how that was possible when we were only seeing each other once a month. We agreed to try harder in the new year and wished each other happy holidays. We kept in touch through facebook msg while we were away, just small talk here and there.

    Now that we're both back in town its the same thing, trying to set something up and failing. What is really bugging me and the reason i have posted (everything above is just filler) is i want to know if i'm being unreasonable by thinking she's playing games. She lives 5 minutes away and i know for a fact we could see each other any night we wanted (most nights she's just at home on fb chat anyways). Also its always me that initiated text, fb chat, fb msg convos (usually i contact her once every 3-4 days). I dont know if maybe she's not a text person, but she usually responds to them 12-24 hours later.

    Whats going on?
    Last edited by 2much; 05-06-2011 at 11:42 AM.

  2. #2
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 131, Level: 2
    Level completed: 62%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 6.1%
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    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    I've talked to her just now and it seems for the past 6 years she's been in a LTR with one guy for 4 years and the most recent guy for 2 years with it ending in September. As a result, she wants some time alone. Since I've asked her out a couple times (and since we met at a club), she knows i want to "be" with her. Since she isn't looking to be with anyone, she feels it would be better if we didn't have any 1on1 hangouts, since she thinks she would be leading me on by doing so.

    My question is, how can i continue with this. She says she's willing to go out clubbing with her friends when I'm out with mine, so how can i proceed and draw her in? All i can think of right now is I'll just have to meet up with her at clubs, dance with her and hope one day she lets her guard down.

  3. #3
    GoDat55 Guest

    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    look, take a sip of juice and go out tonight with nothing in mind. report back tomorrow.

  4. #4
    GoDat55 Guest

    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    damn these doubles

  5. #5
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 131, Level: 2
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    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by GoDat55 View Post
    look, take a sip of juice and go out tonight with nothing in mind. report back tomorrow.
    Good advice. I've realized that she is not worth putting any effort into since she is putting zero effort into me. I'm planning on just deleting her from fb and my phone and forgetting about her since its obvious I got too carried away with one-itis here and acted like an AFC. But I'd still like to take on the challenge of drawing her back in with a PUA approach if you guys think it's possible. Kind of like a little side project while I go about my regular life. So any idea of a text or something i could send after a couple weeks to try and re-establish the attraction we initially had for each other?
    Last edited by 2much; 02-11-2011 at 08:41 AM.

  6. #6
    pokerguy0587 Guest

    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    i wouldn't delete her from your FB or her # - because if she does see it, then you ruin all chance of anything developing in the future. A real man wouldn't act that way- it makes you seem childish and immature. Even though you might not feel it, you have to act like it doesn't matter to you, and that you have a bunch of other exciting things and women to hang out with. Drop all texts, FB chat/messages for a few weeks. Did you guys get a chance to talk about things that she enjoys doing besides going to the club?? Text her in a few weeks with something along the lines of - have you ever been ____________________ _, because my friends and I are going to do said thing on this night, you should tag along, it's going to be great. if she doesn't respond right away don't send another text - just keep the idea of you in her mind... women need a little refresher every once and a while. if no response, try again in a few weeks after that- but change it up - if she doesn't respond to you after that; then perhaps it's time to move on.

  7. #7
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 131, Level: 2
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    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Liverpool, England
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    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by pokerguy0587 View Post
    i wouldn't delete her from your FB or her # - because if she does see it, then you ruin all chance of anything developing in the future. A real man wouldn't act that way- it makes you seem childish and immature. Even though you might not feel it, you have to act like it doesn't matter to you, and that you have a bunch of other exciting things and women to hang out with. Drop all texts, FB chat/messages for a few weeks. Did you guys get a chance to talk about things that she enjoys doing besides going to the club?? Text her in a few weeks with something along the lines of - have you ever been ____________________ _, because my friends and I are going to do said thing on this night, you should tag along, it's going to be great. if she doesn't respond right away don't send another text - just keep the idea of you in her mind... women need a little refresher every once and a while. if no response, try again in a few weeks after that- but change it up - if she doesn't respond to you after that; then perhaps it's time to move on.
    I only thought about deleting her so there would be no distractions and I could get back to my normal life. 1-itis really drew me off everything else i had going on and I dont want to give myself the chance to sit there creeping her facebook and wasting my time on her. That being said, i dont mind taking a minute here and there to send her a text if theres a chance of repairing whatever damage has been done.

    I could try your suggestion, but last week when we talked, towards the end she said she "liked being friends" with me. I kind of laughed at her and said "what do you mean? i dont know you well enough to call you a friend." before I said bye and like I said, we haven't spoken since. So I i think i basically need to start over.
    Last edited by 2much; 02-11-2011 at 04:19 PM.

  8. #8
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 131, Level: 2
    Level completed: 62%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 6.1%
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    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
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    Location
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    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by pokerguy0587 View Post
    Text her in a few weeks with something along the lines of - have you ever been ____________________ _, because my friends and I are going to do said thing on this night, you should tag along, it's going to be great.
    ok so i did something like this and she responded with "oh i'd love to, but my friends and i are doing blah blah blah this weekend." Turns out she is going to a fashion show that i have VIP access to. Meaning she will be in the crowd and see me in VIP partying with a bunch of hot models. So i'm thinking i show her no attention and let her watch as I am dance and flirt with these HB10s. Maybe go over to her once and say hi or see if she comes to me. Am i in the right mindset?

  9. #9
    pokerguy0587 Guest

    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    right- she needs to impress you, and not the other way around. she needs to see that you are an awesome guy to be around (with the VIP models and stuff like that) and she has somewhat of a working brain that she would be crazy not to want to hang out with you. there is nothing that women want more than something that they see other women with. the beauty of all of this is, that you can start over with different chicks, but dont count this one out. just dont waste any time on her anymore... and i feel ya on the creeper status on FB - thats why i try to stay away from it.... it defeats the overall purpose of what we are trying to become here.

  10. #10
    2much is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 131, Level: 2
    Level completed: 62%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 6.1%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Liverpool, England
    Posts
    22
    Points
    131
    Level
    2
    Thanks
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    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
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    Default Re: thoughs, advice?

    hey guys, been a while since i posted. I kind of forgot about this girl and actually for all of April I basically distracted myself by going out with 3 different women throughout the month. The girl that is the topic of this thread and i stayed in touch. she began initiating convo online and she got a new job a few weeks ago near where i live that basically results in me running into her all the time.

    I sent her a text telling her a week in advance about this huge party/club night that my friends and i were planning (it happened last saturday). She said it sounded like fun and she would try to make it and get one of her girlfriends to come with her, since she doesnt know any of my friends.

    A day before the event, she texts me and says her friend cant make it, but she would still like to come with us. I thought that was really strange considering I have only been out with her once in the 6 months we've known each other and based on everything that's happened, why would she come out with me by herself. Anyways I end up picking her up in a cab on our way to the club.

    When we get to the club its me, her and about 20 of my good friends all dancing. She doesnt know any of them of course, so she sticks by me the entire night and doesnt really talk to anyone besides me. I try and do some kino by putting my hands on her hips as we dance, but she doesnt respond and keeps her hands by her sides. Eventually i get tired of trying so we all dance in a circle and then i drop her home and hug her goodnight. She said she had a great time and likes my friends.

    She adds two of my friends that she briefly met that night to facebook (girl & guy). Then last night me and one of those friends (the guy) are hanging out at my place before heading out to a club a good friend was DJ-ing at. I invite her over to hang out with us before we leave but she claims to be tired. After texting back and forth i get her to come by. My friend and i then convince her to come with us to the party and she does. This time I didnt try any kino except spinning her around a couple times on the dance floor. the place wasnt too crowded and no other couples were dancing so i didnt think it was appropriate

    I've shown social proof by showing her I'm fun to be around, showing her i have a lot of close friends, introducing her to the DJ last night who played songs she requested, etc, but it feels like major friend zone. Yet we barely know each other outside of facebook and text messaging so how good friends could we possibly be in her eyes. So i'm confused why all of a sudden she's now coming out by herself with me and my friends and even coming to my place. Really need someone to clear this up and advise how i can move forward because i dont know if she's suddenly interested again, or if she's gotten comfortable talking to me and now sees me as a friend she can hang out with.
    Last edited by 2much; 05-06-2011 at 01:47 PM.


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