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  1. #1
    Ed Marrow Guest

    Default Decisions, Decisions.

    So I need some input on a situation that is quickly arising. I work for a small, mom and pop run tax business. They have an HB daughter and i've been engaging in office flirting with her. She was receptive, but I never really expected it to go anywhere because she has a boyfriend that has been around for years. I'm taking her out on a date this saturday. Any pointers on how I can be open with her and tell her I don't want to date, and i'm only looking to be bennies? I also have my job to consider, so that's why I don't want to lead her on.

  2. #2
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Decisions, Decisions.

    There is nothing about your situation that you can manage without increasing the risk of losing your job. Either by suggesting, escalating, or then subsequently screwing over or hurting her, you increase the risk. You have to be willing to accept that and the consequences. Do you want sex, or the job?

    Moving forward, let her know you ARE "dating," not as if to disclaim for her that a relationship with you is not possible, but that dating and meeting cool chicks is a wonderful part of your life. Pose life as short and fleeting, and project onto her the desirability of "living in the moment."

    Your frame is as a friend, and it won't hurt you to say it. "You're awesome, I think you and I could be amazing friends." But be sure to escalate. Touching on the arm. Subtle references to human nature and animalistic tendencies. Role play with her... playfully suggest that you are her secret buddy, and that you know secrets about each other no one else knows (whether you do or not).

    Just when there is a hint of sexual tension, validate how great of a friend she'll be. And then INCREASE the sexual tension. Back off, then push again based on the opportunity. just keep escalating and mixing the signals until you're banging her.

  3. #3
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Decisions, Decisions.

    It's also very important that YOU be the one to suggest the potential of your friendship first, and to do it as soon as you feel a moment of sexual tension. Then you own the frame and can't let her ever get control of it.

  4. #4
    Ed Marrow Guest

    Default Re: Decisions, Decisions.

    Thanks jon diprince, you gave me a lot to think about. Ill keep progress posted.


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