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  1. #1
    xfactor Guest

    Default dealing with a mother goose

    i'm really new to the community and am just trying out some of the things i've been reading for the past few weeks for the first time. i went to vegas for work - unfortunately, only for one day, but it's vegas so i thought it was a great place to dive in and pop my cherry.

    so, here's what happened. i split off from the group monday night to go try out my sea legs. i went to 4 different casinos looking for a good bar with women. unfortunately, there was little going on because it was monday night. there was one piano bar with a lot of people, but it was way too loud to carry a conversation. i went to the closest craps table to the bar and waited for it to close, hoping that some girls would stop and play. two girls, about 10-12 years my junior walked up and played right next to me. unfortunately, right before they walked up, a really drunk, hb and here jag off boyfriend started playing at the other side of the table and she acted like a complete ass. she annoyed the whole table, dealers included, and ruined the vibe. i did my best and opened with the girl next to me, sara, by asking her if she thought the drunk chick lived in a single or double wide. she responded and we talked while gambling for a little while. after a while the drunk chick and guy left. i was starting to get some rapport and pulled off a few successful negs. one was about our ethnicity. we both have grandmothers from spain, so i said "you're not really spanish, you're just trying to impress me". things were going surprisingly good when her friend's boyfriend showed up. after a little while longer, i realized that i screwed up by not working here friend also, so i tried to give the best friends test. she bit, but her friend wouldn't even look at me. so i abandoned the routine because her friend wouldn't commit, but i knew i had sara because she asked me twice what the best friends test was. i told her i wouldn't do it until her friend stopped ignoring us. a few minutes later, i figured out why. sara's boyfriend showed up. oddly enough, he didn't come stand next to her and i. he stood on the other side of her friend and her friend's boyfriend. at that point i figured that there was no way i was taking sara back to my hotel room, but i continued to play the game with her for practice. she stayed and talked with me for another 45 minutes, boyfriend standing 5 feet away the whole time watching us. kinda weird, but stoked that i could keep her flirting.

    so my questions are:
    - am i correct in assessing that i was doomed from the start because of the boyfriend situation
    - assuming she didn't have her boyfriend there and i had a chance, should i have tried to engage with her friend sooner? what are the best things to do when dealing with a friend who is really cold like sara's friend? was the best friends test the right move?

    sorry this is such a long post, but i am not sure which details are important and which ones aren't.

  2. #2
    JonTylerDiPrince is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: dealing with a mother goose

    There's some gaps here that prevent giving you the timing detail you need. In general, if there are two, you're right, both need attention.

    Never assume you're doomed because of "guys" in proximity. Discover the relationships. "Hi there, potential boyfriend dude, how do you all know each other??"

    Just be friendly, and don't make it clear you are interested in one of them. Angle your body away from any set until AFTER you sit down, or they sit down (so they don't think your proximity is going to be creepy before they are comfortable themselves).

    If you try and engage the obstacle and get cold feedback, subtly qualify her with a story that entices engagement. "Hey, you know, I met this really cute old couple at the black jack table earlier tonight. You remind me of the older woman, she was afraid of strangers. But she completely opened up and turned out to be one of the nicest people I've ever met."

    How do you know the guy was her boyfriend? Did she stay to talk to you? or to play the game? The Best Friends test is less likely to work unless you have a captive audience with them both. If one refuses to play, you can't play now can you? But even still, hard to say if it is the right move; it's just ONE routine in an entire conversation.

  3. #3
    xfactor Guest

    Default Re: dealing with a mother goose

    love the thought of mentioning a story about of meeting someone earlier that night who opened up and turned out to be a really nice person. i need to get better at training my mind to think that way in those situations.

    i knew the guy was her boyfriend because her friend said: oh, your boyfriend is here when he walked up. i think it was directed more at me than her because she saw how her friend was reacting to me. i'm guessing they all went to vegas together.

    i was somewhat limited in being able to engage in conversation because we had to look back at the table every time the dice were rolled. plus, the excitement or disappointment of winning or losing on each roll interrupted our flow of conversation. actually, now that i say that, it isn't true about the target, after 15 minutes, i did have her attention anytime i turned to look at her. had i used a story like what you mentioned, i might have had better luck with her friend.

  4. #4
    xfactor Guest

    Default Re: dealing with a mother goose

    also, she stayed and talked to me, but her boyfriend never left the table and was watching us the whole time.

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