I sure wish I would have found this forum earlier, then I wouldn't have screwed up so badly. I'd love to know what you PUA's think of this. Sorry for the length in advance...
So I know this girl on Facebook. She's a girl I knew from college, but never dated or hooked up with -we were kind of in different crowds.
Anyway, early last year we friended each other and started getting more acquainted. It seemed like every time I posted something she was right there commenting and I would do the same.
She lives in Chicago and I'm in Milwaukee. Every once in awhile she would invite me down to a show or say we should get together for a drink.
It just so happened that every single time either I had to work or she had something come up. Sheesh.
Anyway, here's where the screw-up happened. I finally just came out and told her flat out that I would like to come down there and take her out on a date. That's right, I said date.
After reading through these forums I feel stupid enough for that. It obviously freaked her out. Except it didn't end there.
So she responds and says that "for a variety of reasons i don't think we could or should date--i'm actually just recuperating from a romantic crashup, and i've have done the long-distance thing in the past and it doesn't work for me".
That response took a whole day to come. Normal response time had been about 2 hours at the latest previously.
Then as if I hadn't ruined it enough, I tried to "salvage" the situation by suggesting that we don't have to be serious and that we could just get together and "have fun" when time allowed. Talk about mixed messages.
Needless to say, this did not go over well. In fact, she never responded to my second message at all.
So that was last august. After that some things came up and I ended up not really getting back on the situation until I realized Thanksgiving was coming up and I hadn't spoken with her at all since "D-Day".
Oh yeah, I don't have her actual phone number, we only communicated through FB .
Anyway, I posted some well wishes on her Facebook wall and asked "hey how's everything going, I hope it's all good." I made no mention of the prior debacle.
She responded within a day with nothing very substantial, no more no less than what was asked.
I did the same thing for christmas - again the same response. She answered what I asked and gave no more.
Didn't really try anything in Jan, but in Feb I starting posting a couple of things on her wall that she's into. Articles I found and what not. She would always "Like" the article, but never comment or otherwise respond.
Finally, I posted something a few days ago with a "so what's been up" sort of line and this time it's just nothing.
So obviously this person is no longer interested in interacting with me in even the most basic of ways.
Oh yeah, I should also mention, that to complicate things, one of her best friends was all over me on Facebook at first when we first started communicating. In fact she found me through the girl I want. She'd be leaving me all kinds of embarrassing messages on my wall. But by the time I made my move on the girl I was actually interested in this girl had found herself a girlfriend and was supposedly happy.
Not sure if this is relevant in any way...
The question here is, can she be brought back? Can interest be rekindled? I've seen the B4UTXTHER product, but that seems to be for if you already have the number. Ironically, I'm sure there was a period of time there where I could have asked for it and gotten it, but that time is apparently over now.
Is there any way to proceed via Facebook that will bring this chick back around? Or just pack it in and chalk it up to experience? So it's been like 5 messages in the past 6 months, each one with less and less response.
Let me know what you guys think, I'm interested to hear other opinions.