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  1. #1
    hawwis Guest

    Default College Girl in class, need ice breaker

    ok this should be simple, but lacking confidence of late. there's this girl in my physics class who sits across the room from me, and the past few weeks we've been smiling at each other and staring quite a bit, I'll catch her looking at me and vice versa. i dont want to just sit next to her in class cause looks so obvious and desperate. just cant think of something clever to say to her after class. i'm Australian too, which should help i think. and during class i sit next to one of my friends who is a girl and we laugh usually the whole lecture, so should be an advantage her seeing me make another girl laugh. what should i do? ask her after class what she's doing this weekend? invite her to a party or bar? ideas, suggestions?

  2. #2
    SummaFelix Guest

    Default Re: College Girl in class, need ice breaker

    Okay, I'm going to start off and say; "snap out of the loser mentality."

    In psychology, we call it a frame of mind; a meta-model for behavior. It's basically a collection of premises that are stored in your memory, with a true/false value assigned to them. That's all your psychology is. It's like computer code; a program. And your code has a glitch; a fatal error.

    Here is your problem:

    You are basing your "flirting model" on media targeted towards boys and girls. This media does not want to be sexually explicit or sexually suggestive. After all, no dad wants to let his little girl feel that it's okay to have sex with whoever she feels like. Sex has to be something special, blah blah blah. So the girl starts to develop her external presentation of "I'm not that kind of girl." Likewise, guys have to adapt their game to cater to the "I'm not that kind of girl" female psychology. This is the whole, "quiet, shy, misunderstood, but caring and sweet nerd prevails over the a-hole jerk jock, and scores with the HB10 just b/c he's such a nice guy." (that's where you're getting the urge to say things like, "I need an ice breaker.")

    Then there's media that's targeted towards men and women. After all, god gave women a vagina and hormones for a reason. Guess what, not all women are wh*res. Not all women engage in prostitution. Not all women have sex only to secure a guy that will work for them, bring money back home, and secure a comfortable lifestyle for her and her family. Some women actually have sex, because they enjoy it!

    These women are looking for men, not boys. What is the difference?

    Well, if I wanted to manipulate you into opening up the door for me, I would say that a man is someone who holds the door open for women. If I wanted to manipulate you into paying for my food, I would say that a man is someone who pays for dinner. If I wanted to manipulate you into paying for my food without looking as if I'm manipulating you (saving face), I would say that men should do the asking out, and that the person who does the asking out should pay; that's only fair. (If A --> B, and If B --> C; then A --> C) You get the idea.

    But there's a real distinction to be made, sexually.

    A boy is just as emotionally insecure as a woman. He needs assurance, reassurance, validation, attention, and the run-of-the-mill self-esteem boosts. This is after-all why he chases after women; so he can find those things.

    A man is self-assured. His personal qualities (looks, intelligence, talents, skills, emotional understanding, etc.) give him power. Power is infinite currency, with a fixed maximum bargaining power. The world rewards him for who he is. His job, his salary, his status, his friends, his social circle, his life. Completely independent. So why does he talk to women? Because he wants to have sex, and he's not gay.

    How you approach this girl you're talking about, immediately puts you in one of those two categories. Which category you get placed in is entirely your choice; not hers.

    If you feel uncomfortable to just sit next to her one day, and start talking to her, and flirting during class, with whispers and notes, that's your choice; that's one route you can take. That could lead to a date, by the end of the semester. That could lead to a "relationship" after 1-2 months of dating. That could lead to sex after 1-2 months of being in a relationship. And "IF" that's what it leads to, just know your place. You're the cute Steve Earkle, who was so adorable and lovable, that she just had to give him a chance. And because he just tried so hard and proved his love for her, she stuck by him b/c he was safe. He's the boyfriend she loves, and the boyfriend she has sex with, because she loves him so much.

    OR . . .

    You can just sit next to her one day. You can whisper to her during class, and flirt through notes. Everything the professor says, everything about the class, and everything that other people are doing become things to talk about. You know why you're there. Because she wants you. She wants you to be there. She wants to get farked. You're just making it easy for her to get what she wants. You're being the man she needs in her life right now. Maybe tomorrow she changes her mind. But with that look she gave you, you're just giving to charity.

    I don't really think you need an ice-breaker. You just need to DHV a LITTLE bit to the whole class in general, and then sit next to her. Just enough for her to know who you are, but not enough for you to practically be screaming "I'M TRYING REALLY HARD TO GET YOUR ATTENTION, AND GET YOU TO NOTICE ME!"

    Maybe a case-example would help.

    I was at a Led Zeppelin concert one night. There was this girl next to me, whom was dancing with her friend. Now, she would keep positioning herself in front of me, where I could get a good view of "the goods." I got the point she was trying to make, but it was too loud to hold a conversation. Plus, f*** her; I love Led Zeppelin, I wasn't about to talk to her and ruin my once-in-a-life-time chance to hear my favorite band live.

    So, 3 hours later, at the coat-check, I saw her. She was standing next to her two friends, and they were in the middle of talking to each other. I interrupted her and told her, "hey, I saw you looking at me the whole night, and I couldn't leave without telling you that you're beautiful." (feel free to analyze the psychology in that simple statement); (1) she was trying hard the whole night, and the guy just communicated to her, that she got his attention; (2) he communicated that around her friends, (3) and complimented her, (4) in front of her friends, (5) wow . . . that's what she's thinking.

    Flattering, to say the least. So we started talking about Led Zeppelin songs, we picked up our coats, I "asked" her to come with me to get some pizza; she ditched her friends, but they agreed, so it was okay . . . pizza into more BS you don't care about reading about . . . number close . . . f-close next day

    Why? Momentum!

    You gotta keep the ball rolling. You can't start a whole formal courting process on a girl that wants you inside her right there and then.

    It might sound simple, but the one quality that pre-determines any girl's reaction to who you are as Mr. X; is confidence.

    And . . . all that confidence is . . . is not giving a sh*t. I walk outside my house, without giving a sh*t about how I look. Do you know why? B/c I know I look good. I start talking to people w/o giving a sh*t about what I'm saying. Do you know why? B/c people love talking to me. I'm comfortable talking to women I find attractive. Do you know why? B/c they also find me attractive. I'm comfortable flirting with and teasing women I want to have sex with. Do you know why? B/c they also want to have sex with me. I'm comfortable pinning down a girl, turning her on, and taking her clothes off. Do you know why? B/c I know she wants me to do just that. I'm comfortable bending her over and making her feel like a woman. Do you know why? B/c that's exactly what I feel like doing. That's all that confidence is. Nothing more, nothing less. From beginning, to end.

    So if she's asking for it, why are you getting all philosophical and metaphysical and mathematical, etc? Just f***ing do what you have to do, and don't needlessly complicate sh*t.
    Last edited by SummaFelix; 03-24-2011 at 02:54 AM.

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