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  1. #1
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Exclamation Txt message flip out

    So I'm leaving the club at the same time as aquaintance redhead HB9, so we walk together. Laughing, joking, good rapport. I wasn't really bothing to game her, but she gave me the digits and told me to let her know next time I was going to this event. Couple weeks roll by and the event comes up again, I decide to go, and txt her a short FYI that I would be there (No-Flakes-style open loop or whatever its called). She flips out and sends me this long txt (3 pages with bullet points!!) about how I'm assuming she would care.

    My main question is this-- how do I respond to this?? I understand I should play it off as the cool confident alpha male who is above any petty drama, but how do you expess that without getting sucked in nor totally defenestrating this chick? (remember I still have to float in the same social circle as this girl and we share a fair number of mutual acquaintances, and yes, if the situation were repaired I wouldn't be above banging her also lol )

    An additional question might be this-- how did this happen?? Is she just being bitchy because I had better things to do than call her the last two weeks? Is she just testing? Did she just totally forget that she *asked* me to remind her about the event? (even so, doesn't alone explain all the attitude) Or could it be she was having a bad day and she's just taking it out of the first person who bothers to talk to her?

    I'm pretty much anti-drama, so I hate to even give it this much attention, but I'd still like to learn how to better deal with this sort of thing in the future.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    you know it's funny, because this happened to me before and I will walk you though my situations and try to explain what I think...


    So i went to a bar and I was on my way out and this girl was asking me for a cigarette and i don't smoke, i have them there just so I can hand them out and it builts chances to talk, so I gave her one and
    she's like "aren't you gonna smoke with me".
    I say, "no this is my friend's pack, you are lucky i gave you one"
    girl: ohh, I'll stop talking then..." but then offered her digits to meet again at the same pub.

    However, I must point out that I wasn't really into her, she wasn't really a HB, just a nice body(8) and decent face (7), so I didn't bother giving her my digits or whatever.


    Anyways, I decided to go back to the bar, 3 weeks later, so I decided, why not text her FYI that I'd be there, maybe she'll look better or test my luck. She spazzed out, and complaining how I'm being a jerk and didn't care dispite her actions showed me she wanted to hang out before being back at the bar...

    She is angry because she probably doesn't hand out digits that often and it felt you took advantage of it. She is somewhat testing to see how you would react, but it's really a stupid test.. but girls do want to feel they are wanted. And thirdly, she'd expect you to text and communicate with her earlier, so the fact you waited out made her lose control.. and just go nuts on ya.


    Play your usual confident self, if she's still a pain, then forget it. If she turns out cool.. let the joy ride begin.
    Last edited by studmuffin52; 04-13-2011 at 02:08 PM.

  3. #3
    Element is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    As promised
    I know it'll sound stupid maybe...but was she drunk at the time? Probably the first thing you thought of though..Maybe this is some sort of test, that she's "expecting" you to pass, (and you will). My advice would be to act unaffected (I should really take my own advice sometimes...). Vin Dicarlo states in the "Attraction Code" that women set up tests to "filter" out men that "aren't worthy" (my interpretation). A three page bullet text does seem a little....excessive though, but maybe her tests are unique....Vin does go on to say that the best reaction to a test is...wait for it....no reaction. If you ever read "The 48 Laws of Power" (again, great read), one of the laws is to ignore things to get back at people. Now I'm not implying you get back at her, but the book states that things can only bother you, if you pay attention to that. So..in a way, you punish her by withdrawing attention, so that would effectively make you "pass" her test, because it clearly shows that it didn't affect you. Vin also says, when in doubt...shrug. I guess the text message equivalent of this would be "hahahahah thats cute", or something along those lines. So essentially, I would at first act unaffected, but if she persists this behavior (which I highly doubt, as you did not do anything that could incite that anger in anybody), then leave it for now, the battle is lost, but you didn't lose the war. The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game says that if you get a bad response from a girl (as in low interest, or maybe something like in your case), you just let that number sit for a month or two, then get back to it, with a funny comment to re-initiate conversation. Time heals all right? An example of a text you could use it "Did you forget how to use your phone? Or are you playing hard to get?" Be careful with these however, as some people may think that it implies neediness. On a side note I read somewhere that said that as a species, words, are relatively new, as we have been communicating with non verbal signals such as body language, etc. for millions of years before words. Text messages leave out all of the non verbal signals, so this leaves a very big chance for misinterpretation... .however I do think a 3 page text is pretty concise and describes her feelings pretty well though....This could be just a test, so if anything ignore it, and if you want to just say "thats cute" or something like that, or you could just leave it, and text her back in a month with one of the other texts I provided an example of. Good Luck!

  4. #4
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    Thanks guys, veery good advice all around!

    The more I think back, the more I think she really just wanted to take me home with her that night she gave me the number. I was oblivious because I was in a hurry to catch up with friends (and another HB) before the other bar closed. Shouldve been paying attention :doh: She had a painful breakup with her BF on her birthday a few weeks prior, and the night she gave me her number kept talking about how 'bored' she was, and was pretty eager to have me walk back with her to her car.

    As for your advice, I was kinda thinking the same thing, but I couldn't figure out how to word it, so I just didn't reply to her txt at all. Sounds like youre saying that's not such a bad decision after all.

    Still, I feel kinda bad I didn't call, now that I know this chick is actually *that* into me. So I'd really like to reconnect with her, but Im worried with the ignoring-- it's kinda what got me into this in the first place. This girl puts a pretty high value on herself, so I probably shouldn't be surprised that, as you say, she doesn't just hand out her digits and got pretty pissed when i took advantage of that.

    Should I really wait a couple months?? Anything I can say to get the ball rolling again faster?

  5. #5
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    of course there are things you can say to get the ball rolling faster ....

    you: hey, we should definately grab dinner I know a nice place
    girl: i thought you didn't care about me
    you: I am not a robot, i obviously cared.. it's just a lot of people been dependent on me, so I never got a chance to get back to you
    girl: ohh, that's fine..
    blah blah blah..

    when you do see her, just go for the kiss opener... this is one of those situations where she NEEDS and WANTS you to .. and it takes balls.. but guess what .. it's time to notch your game...
    you.

    Remember in a lot of the movies, it's always a big fight, then the guy comes soft and opens his heart, then resumes his business and does a bold action and seals the deal.. this is your situation ...

    even if you're not for a relaiotnship with her or whatever, it's the opportunity that counts and who knows what that entails for the future.. never shut down anything unless you are 100% NOT interested...

  6. #6
    Element is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    ahhhh the instant-k close...is it still considered a close if it's the first thing you do? You would simply lock eye contact with the girl (not the thousand yard stare..that crosses the creepy line) and go in to kiss her, but keep it short and brief. That should go along with studmuffins suggestion well. I learned that one from Ultimate Natural Game, I forgot who it was though...The mechanism going into effect there is as the person states it...if a gay guy approached you from across the bar with the look in his eyes that he was going to kiss you...you would run the hell away. It is a very...ballsy move though. It is good to ignore the comment, but true, if you ignore it for too long, you'll end up even worse than before, so play that card very carefully if you are. Disappear too fast, you'll only be forgotten. I would say play the game right now from a very...calculated standpoint..not safe, and slow..but calculated. Try something see her feedback then go from there, steadily moving up the escalation ladder. If she rejects something go with David DeAngelo 2 steps forward, 1 step back principle. I would show some investment on your part..but don't go overboard on it..very important..made that mistake myself..showed too much investment too early, and BAM I hit just about every problem that could've arose (LMR, LJBF, if there's an acronym for it, I probably encountered it). About the texting thing, to recap though..personally I would leave it for a couple days, maybe a week at max, because who knows..maybe you just texted her at a bad time, and she's fine now. Try not to apologize though, because..well..I mean I guess you can, it's kinda hard to judge because I'm not in your shoes. Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game says to not send too many emotional ridden texts, as that stuff should be done in person, but hey..it's not the word of God. If you don't follow it you won't explode, so it really depends on your situation. I would however, let it sit for a few days, then text back with studmuffins ideas, but try not to bring up the fact she sent you that angry text because, well I feel that if you don't acknowledge it, hey it didn't happen. I'm not saying to bury it and take it to the grave, but maybe discussing what happened over text isn't the best thing to be doing because of what I said about miscommunications in texting. As for now, maybe downplay the text in its importance, and try not to give it much attention or significance, so you can concentrate on gaming her more. Hope this helps

  7. #7
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    Good advice for the long game, Element. Thanks for the example txt, studmuffin52, that's a good approach.

    As for the kiss opener-- wow, that is indeed ballsy. Funny, I've done just about every kinky, fucked up, risky, weird thing you can think of with a chick (or at least that I can think of), and yet I don't think I've ever done the kiss as an OPENER. (well, maybe one new years eve, but I don't think it counts when you're just groping in the dark for the first thing with tits and a pair of lips before the clock hand hits midnight). Funny how that actually makes me just a little nervous. I guess after that last article I posted now the kiss opener has to go on my bucket list.

    I'm trying to imagine the dynamics here... How do you not make eye contact with someone you're meeting up with until you're within make-out range? Seems like sneaking up would be almost as bad as the thousand yard stare...

    Sounds like I need to read this Ultimate Natural Game thingy. Book? Ebook? Website? Where do I find it?

  8. #8
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Txt message flip out

    it took a while to respond here ...

    how is everything with this situation?

    to your question, there are a few ways to to avoid contact until last minute, like pretending to text or type something into your phone, remember, you are not running across a field like those indians do in a open 5 km field ....

    I tried a kiss opener once, and it was very cool! if you got balls, it almost won't fail unless the girl is dating you as pity. So, she was walking and i don't know about you guys, most girls like a hello hug ... so when i as I hug them, i led her face to mine and went for it, and it was cool. no words, no hi ... say hi AFTER the kiss ... feels almost magical.

    Ultimate Game thing, is how your heart feels like playing it .... imagine the play by play situation ... then picture it a few more times, like a rehearsal and once the time comes .. it'll be smooth sailing ....

    P.S. i also have updated story on the bartender Help! thread


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