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  1. #1
    Jripped is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Different situation, need advice

    So I met this girl about 2-3 months ago. First date- Best date I have ever had, EVER, ended up hooking up(no sex because I told her not on the 1st date). She would text me everyday or call. Then 2nd date came up, I ended up bucking her. One night I decided to hit her up, I was a little drunk, we met up and I ended up asking a question(joking) and she flipped and was pissed. I ended up spilling my guts, I fucked it up, told her the reason why I asked was cuz I was gonna aske her to be my GF. Anyways, I met with her a couple more times after this and we banged. I ended up ending things with her but she texted me a week or so later and we were semi-talking again. I cut things short with her and hit her up the next weekend, she stopped responding to me mid texts. Anyways, we got along really well, but things went down hill after the first "negative" comment I made. All my friends say that I am trippin out but I really liked this girl. We have not talked or texted since I texted her last(3 weeks ago), Should I move on or what, I cant get her out of my head. It was weird because this all happened over a 2 month period....She was realllly hot and chill, but I am not sure about how crazy she is....any advice?

  2. #2
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Different situation, need advice

    The GF/BF relationship thing always works better if she thinks it was her idea all along. No matter how intense you feel inside, only project being just barely one notch below her in terms of expressed interest. He/she who cares least controls the relationship. Wait for her to be the first to say she wants to get more serious. If you say so first, you come of as being needy. If you are dating someone and she confronts you about it but you don't know where she is at on that scale-- play it cool. "I'm not really searching for anything long term right now, but if something came along and felt right, I'd certainly be open to it."

    Three weeks is a good cooling off period, she is likely starting to miss you around now or the next week for sure. If you really like her, keep f-king her. Eventually the chemistry that makes in her brain will make her want to get more serious, so just don't mess it up until that happens and she'll be yours. And don't have any expectations, it could take a while. If thats a problem for you, there's plenty of other girls out there. Dating another girl may make this one more interested in getting back your attention, but play carefully, if you make her feel used it will backfire.

    The major ways to mess it up are being too needy, or not being interested enough (I know, it's a balancing act). A lot of guys make the mistake of not letting her invest in you. She'll offer to do something nice like picking up the dishes or whatever, and he will wuss out and say "no no, relax, I'll do it." Big missed opportunity! If she wants to do some little thing for you, like bring you food or something, LET HER. Then reward her by telling her you appreciate it. If you don't, she might start to feel used, plus the reward aspect reinforces her good behavior, making her more likely to do it again in the future. ...see how this is a positive self-replicating technique? The more she invests, the more she wants to invest. Pretty soon, you won't be able to get rid of her even if you wanted to!

    Basically, play it cool, show a little interest, but not too much, a little push and pull, and let her do most of the work of getting you back, investing in you, and eventually begging to be your girlfriend.

  3. #3
    Jripped is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Different situation, need advice

    Thanks for the reply. We haven't talked since the last text 3 weeks ago, I had ended it a few weeks before that(stupid, I was mad,big mistake i know), Anyways, she hit me up a few times a week later, I blew her off, then I hit her up a week later and she stopped texting me. Is this sh1t over? What I mean is, I liked her a lot we got along well when we were together but argued on the phone. Anyways, I would like to try and continue it, but what do you guys think? Could it work?
    Last edited by Jripped; 04-12-2011 at 10:10 PM.

  4. #4
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Different situation, need advice

    Could it work? I'd say it mostly depends on you-- Can you not argue with her again?

    Arguing is a big no-no. Not because of some relationship therapist bullshit, but because arguing demonstrates lower value on your part. Alpha males don't argue. They're above the drama. If you can do that, it can work, no doubt.

    if she's just trying to start an argument, you must stay cool, calm and collected. Remember, he who cares least controls the relationship. One technique that can help is to imagine if she just suddenly busted out and started doing the chicken dance in front of everyone. What kind of face would you make if you saw that? Freeze. Remember that face! Any time she starts a little drama, bust out that exact face. Most of the time that'll stop any drama in it's tracks, but if not follow it up with "I find that behavior unattractive" or even "I'm disappointed in you"

    Dont use it all the time. Remember, if she legitimately wants to calmly and rationally discuss something with you, you should. Only bust out the face if she's in a foul mood or being bitchy or just creating drama, or otherwise doing something you don't like.

    If the phone is especially a hot spot for you two, just agree not to discuss anything important over the phone (in my opinion you shouldn't anyway). Have the strength to insist "we'll talk about this later" but do actually follow up and set a real time to discuss it calmly in person.

    Finally, be prepared to leave. I know, you like this girl and ditching her again is the last thing you want to do, but be prepared. He who cares least controls the relationship. Also, we want what we can't have. If you do the breaking up, she'll be way more likely to come back than if it was the other way around. But don't over dramatize it or use it frequently as a threat-- if you cry wolf, it loses it's power fast. Be confident that you don't *need* this girl, rather you simply like her. There's other fish in the sea if it doesn't work out. Even if you don't want to go that route, being prepared to signals your confidence to her. She'll feel lucky to have you, which is powerful for making her want to stick around.

    Again, it's been three weeks, she should be missing you around now. I'd wait a week, she'll probably try to come up with an excuse to talk to you or run into you before then, but if not at that point it'll be a good time to try and reconnect with her.

  5. #5
    Jripped is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Different situation, need advice

    Ok...So update...I contacted the girl and to my surprise she picked up. She basically said she was surprised to hear from me because I said I never wanted to talk to her again ect ect....anyways, I really liked this girl and wanted to reconnect, I asked her is she wanted to go out and grab something to eat she said yes but was hesitant then i told asked her what was wrong and basically she said she was seeing someone else...She loved rubbing it in my face, anyways I ended the convo quick and said what we had was fun, she said the same. Since she has txtd me on my bday and i said thanks and and that was about it. I really liked this girl for a long time and cant seem to want to move on, even tho we only dated for about 2 months but we were acquaintances for much longer than that...I want to get her back but we have no mutual friends or anything like that....any advice???


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