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  1. #1
    MrKite is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy started to like more than the sex

    i met this girl at a small party i threw about a month ago. i felt a real cool vibe right away and we ended up just kind of talking alone for a while. By the time we were fairly drunk (i wouldn't say wasted) we ended up making out and then having sex (great sex i may add). I didn't find out until the next day she has a boyfriend, but she said they are "kind of fizzled out" (whatever that may mean). She told me that she was going to tell him, but it seems she never did. We started texting everyday and hanging out for coffee and such. We had sex again about a week and a half later, this time without alcohol involved. So with talking to her more and hanging out I really start to feel the connection and let my guard down. last time we had sex, wetalked about it afterword and she said we should stop because it wasn't the right thing to do to her boyfriend-- but the very next day she said she "thought about it again and had a really good time" (i still don't know if she meant the sex or just our time together in general). Anyway, yesterday she texted me seven pages worth or gibberish which in summary said "i cant sleep with you anymore, i was being selfish and i hope we can be friends". She said her relationship was unstable but that "didn't give her the right to fark up". I told her i was starting to like more than the sex, but was very brief with her overall to the point she asked if i was mad at her (I only said ok, i understand). i told her no and that was it. (really i'm only mad at myself for starting to like her).
    To be truthful, I really do like a lot of things I see in her… More than I've seen in any girl for a long time. It's probably best advice to forget about her, but i think i really fell hard for her and I can't get it out of my head.
    I feel like i should at least give something a try… I don't have a lot to loose other than possibly looking desperate. So far I've only been able to think of ignoring her for a few days and seeing if she texts me at all. She seems to feel guilty and confused, but never admitted she liked me.

    I may be teased here for being too soft for a PUA forum, but I wonder if anyone here has had a similar experience or can offer any constructive advice.

  2. #2
    Bill Preston's Avatar
    Bill Preston is offline Owner - PUA Forum
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    Default Re: started to like more than the sex

    Nah - you aren't too soft. That is why you came here to get some advice. We all have felt exactly like you do.

    Couple of observations.

    She is a cheater. Not good for long term GF material.

    She must be cool and she does like you, but she feels bad and is still somewhat into her BF.

    My advice. Stay friendly, but date other women - hopefully where she finds out through friends or sees you out with other girls.

    She will start thinking about you and reach out to you (don't text or contact her - focus on other girls now).

    Then if she does contact you and wants to get together (if she contacts you it is because she does)...meet up with her - but this time tell her no sex or making out until she breaks up with her BF. It's OK to flirt - but keep it clean.

    That is how you can get her.

    BP

  3. #3
    MrKite is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: started to like more than the sex

    I'm just afraid of her loosing interest or her not realizing I like her enough for her to even bother... I understand the security of an existing relationship over anything different.
    Is there any reason I should call her? It's only been three days, I don't know how long to wait though.

    Everyone keeps reminding me about the cheater thing but i just feel like maybe it's just because we clicked?

  4. #4
    MrKite is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: started to like more than the sex

    texted me today, she wants to "hang out" tomorrow... I don't know what to make of this situation... I would be very surprised if she bothered to text me after ignoring her just to "hang out" as friends. Something tells me i will be banging her again, but i've been wrong just about every time... I could end up looking very foolish for even thinking that.
    What's the best way to play this off?

  5. #5
    jbardu87 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: started to like more than the sex

    Go hang out with her. Don't think about having sex with her and if she goes to make out with you, do what bill said. A cheating gf should not be rewarded by sex from you. If she wants to have sex with you she should do it with out strings attached.


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