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    DogDylan is offline Aspiring PUA
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    May 2011
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    Default Friendzone? Should I drop this girl?

    A year ago I meet this sweet girl at shallow friend’s party. After an hour of conversation she had to go home. She told me that she really liked to talk to me and that she hoped we would see each other again. I added her on my Facebook like you do with people.

    We begin chat over Facebook. Not much but let’s say every two weeks or something over Facebook. It was not deep, but very light-hearted. But a couple of times very deep, which sadly ended in us telling each other some bad secretes about each other.

    I dated someone else at that moment. After 8 months we exchanged numbers after I told her that we should date sometime. This was in the end of January. She said she would call me after her weekend abroad. She never called and I stayed off talking with her on Facebook for a couple of weeks.

    In the middle of February we finally went out for a date when I contacted her again in the Quick Chat on Facebook. She was very positive to see me, almost happy. It was just a drink at a cool bar.

    I discovered we are very different people. She is a hairdresser and I’m in the end of graduate school. She is a couple of years older than me. She is from former Yugoslavia and came here in her childhood. I’m ethnically Swedish.

    She was raised in a secular Muslim family but is not a believer and has no problem dating non-Muslims. I’m raised in secular Christian family. I’m raised in a upper-middle class area in the capital. I also went to good private schools. She is raised in a small immigrant working-class community in a small town and went to public schools. I studied economics and natural science in High School. She studied a practical program in high school. She has no university education.

    Even though we were so different it worked out rather fine. There were some laughs; always eye contact, not silent moments. There we no rude phones and one could say it was a very friendly conversation. She is a very honest and friendly woman. She treats me with very much respect.

    Because of our backgrounds it was a bit of a cultural and social clash. For example: I’m rather well traveled and do skiing and golf on my spare time. She doesn’t. When she said to me she liked art, it was not like she knew anything about it. She just liked to paint. When, I just took up some different kind of famous contemporary artists and styles I was way up over her head. She said she liked shopping and fashion.

    There was no deeper meaning behind it. Stupid (me), just raised the issue of what she thought of the New York versus Paris versus London scene when it comes to second hand fashion. She had of course not been there and did of course not like second hand fashion. She just liked beautiful things because they are beautiful.

    Mostly I just date law-students, med-students and like economic students and girls that are pretty much very similar to me. It always bores me to date them. They are sometimes pretty brilliant, but I know what I get. I’m just tired of this political correct middle class attitude. They are just like my mother and I cannot stand my mother. Even though this differences (Which is a bit annoying when you want to find something in common) is rather large between me and this girl, I do like this girl very much. She is good looking also, with a very nice athletic body and a very sweet happy smile. She is also very good social skills and values.

    Because of the bad table it was difficult to get “close” and in to any real intimacy. She wanted continue the date after the bar closed, but I ended it because no good bar was open. I didn’t want to take her to some to cheap place, even though I know that there was one of those pretty near.

    Because of the subway coming we had just a fast huge. The only bad was that fast huge and that she seems to find it a bit difficult “not” working with something “better” (Or as the society would define it). She even told this to me, of course with very much respect and with a bit of humor.

    Next morning I sent her a text message saying that I enjoy the evening. She replied in minutes saying that she also enjoyed it and that she would like to do it again. Two days later I sent her text message of going to a contemporary art museum. She said she liked art so I thought that would be a good idea. She is new in town and she mostly work weekends to make ends day’s meat.

    She did not reply. After a month we spoke once again on Facebook and did so a couple of times under March and April. She told me that she would cut my hair at her place. She said she would call about it. Actually she said that she would call if she wasn’t dead after work. She did not call. When she didn’t call me I just dropped her. It went maybe a month with no contact.

    After Walpurgis we spoke over Facebook. I felt that it was over and I just told her about my Walpurgis that is was fun, I didn’t get laid, but my friends did and I meet this girl that I didn’t hook up with. Stuff like that. I said it with some humor of course.

    She had told me once before that people are hitting on her (of course she says that she is not flirting or want them). I was just very honest in this conversation. I think she got angry with me. She told me I don’t listen and is not flirty and that is why I don’t get laid. She logged out.

    Next day we spoke once again online. It was a good conversation. She told me that she had problems with her apartment (she had just moved to a new place) and that she hated her job and was forced to work a lot to earn enough money for a normal life style. I do not know, but it may be an explanation for her behaviour. She was much more “talkative” then ever before and not her usually way of talking which means she let me control the conversation. I asked her if she had seen some culture yet. She said no, but she hoped I would show here sometime. I asked her out once again (for that second date) and she said she that it would very much like that (so she said yes). We are going to see each other this Sunday.

    I don’t understand this girl. I don’t even understand if she likes me. If I’m in the friend zone and what her problem is. This “respect” is annoying. It’s like she is afraid to say things to me because she fear I would judge her or something like that. Maybe I’m just in the friend’s zone after all. I like her anyway and I think I’m going to be flirtier. I like her in this very strange way - that is why I continue to care for this.

    What do you think? Should I just drop her?
    Last edited by DogDylan; 05-04-2011 at 12:35 AM.

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