Ok I've been hanging out with this girl for a couple of months that I really like a lot. She's an NDR (investor / denier / realist). I'm very sure I understand almost all of her behavior and signals she's been giving me, except for 1 thing which has been puzzling me, and I would like to hear some opinions on what it is that I'm missing and what this behavior means exactly.
When it's just the 2 of us alone, it is very obvious to me that she *really* likes to talk to me, to connect and bond with me on an emotional level, even to the point that she will neglect sleep if she has work the next morning. We've made out a number of times, and she is very comfortable with me touching her already (I've been kissing her neck, fondled her, etc. we've not had sex yet though) I can clearly see in her eyes that she has some feelings for me when I go to kiss her. However, she will only hang out with me privately after hanging out in a group setting or after a group activity. If I text her on saturday and say "Hey, wanna go grab a drink?" and she knows it's just me, she'll make an excuse. If our mutual friend (how we met) is going, she'll go. At least that's what it consistently feels like. Once we're together alone, she loves being around me. It's getting her there that's the issue.
She has told me she does not want a relationship right now because her ex just deployed (he's in the marines) and it affected her in a way she was not expecting. She needs time and space to get over it, and I get that and I've conveyed that to her. I also know she wants to keep me on the down low, at least for now. Around people we know, we are strictly friends. When it's just the 2 of us (both public and private), she likes to act like my girlfriend, hold hands, kiss, etc.
Why does she resist initiating a hangout with just the 2 of us? She does in fact have very little time to devote to anything other than work and sleep (she works 7 days a week at 2 jobs). But she'll hang out with me, even invite me out, if someone else is present. Once the evening winds down, everyone leaves, and it's just the two of us. Then we talk for hours, kiss, and generally be very warm and loving with each other. But I can't get her to hang out with me any other way! Why? I don't get it.
What am I missing? Am I reading too much into her excuses as trying to not hang out unless other people are present, when it's not that at all? Are the excuses all just coincidences? Or is there something I've missed?