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  1. #1
    Jaz
    Jaz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default After the first date

    Last week I went on a first date (to a bar) with this girl I number closed the week earlier on the bus. During the initial conversation and text exchanges I knew she was relatively into me, so it wasn’t tremendously surprising for me to convert the number into a date. The date lasted around 2 hours and went “fairly” well. Though, as we were sitting opposite each other with a table in between us, there wasn’t an opportunity to try some kino. At the end of the date when we had been walking and were about to go our separate ways, we were saying goodbye. However, as we weren’t that close to each other, it didn’t feel right (due to a lack of kino and as I was too nervous!) to go in for a kiss. She then went to hug me and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. We said goodbye and she said to me “see you soon”.

    The date was on Wednesday and I text her on Friday the following:

    Me: Did u hear about that new restaurant for lawyers? It’s called Sosumi! (she is a trainee lawyer by the way)

    HB:Haha! I love it U ready for your drinks tonight? Client gave me a lovely bunch of flowers today, so sweet (She wasn’t asking me about drinks with her, she knew I was going out with friends that night)

    Me: Lol ur easy to please. Unfortunately the night out is cancelled as no one really communicated any concrete plans, but going for a few drinks instead for my mate’s birthday so it’s not all bad lol. Why would ur client give u a bunch of flowers

    HB: Never easily pleased, but was a funny one. Settled clients case so she was thankful.

    Me: Oh thank u lol, I know better ones So not all clients are bad lol. Up to anything tonight? I’m bored lol, how is ur day

    HB: May go to gym. Busy day. Enjoy drinks and your weekend

    I left it at that. (please offer any improvements to my texting game)

    Not really sure how to play this now. From our initial texting interaction and her last text, I can see she isn’t the type to have long texting conversations. I’m thinking I will probably wait till Monday to text her (unless she contacts me first), and as she isn’t the type to have too much texting banter, I feel like just asking – or asking pretty soon after my first text – for a second date. So I have 2 questions:

    How would you play it from here?

    How would you arrange a second date and what would you recommend for one? Not sure about the cinema as it doesn’t really give us an opportunity to talk that much and a cinema/drink seems a bit too much for the 2nd date.

    By the way, in terms of my intentions, I quite like her and I am unsure as to whether I want a relationship with her or just a “bit of fun” (I think 60/40 towards a relationship lol).


    P.S. I suppose what I’ve learnt from my date with her is to always have a date where the logistics don’t prevent kino.

  2. #2
    bamboo45 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: After the first date

    How about an unconventional something where you just have the time to hang around, like shopping for a CD, she helping you to pick something like a shirt... you calling her to come to your local gym (although gym is not really a good place for ... nah it could be), but you get the picture. If you ask her on some small bands gig or something it's cool, and if she doesnt want to go again then those types of things like grabbing a lunch, coffee at mall or something could work better than other completely date stuff.

    btw, perhaps she wanted to go but change her mind because of her mood or something other completely-non-related-to-you
    actually, not perhaps, but most likely, and even if it isn't you should act like that IS the case... dont mean only towards her, but towards yourself... like creating a blind spot and just go and poke after a poke... tactically of course (speaking in general, not just regarding her)

  3. #3
    Jaz
    Jaz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: After the first date

    Quote Originally Posted by bamboo45 View Post
    How about an unconventional something where you just have the time to hang around, like shopping for a CD, she helping you to pick something like a shirt... you calling her to come to your local gym (although gym is not really a good place for ... nah it could be), but you get the picture. If you ask her on some small bands gig or something it's cool, and if she doesnt want to go again then those types of things like grabbing a lunch, coffee at mall or something could work better than other completely date stuff.

    btw, perhaps she wanted to go but change her mind because of her mood or something other completely-non-related-to-you
    actually, not perhaps, but most likely, and even if it isn't you should act like that IS the case... dont mean only towards her, but towards yourself... like creating a blind spot and just go and poke after a poke... tactically of course (speaking in general, not just regarding her)
    Thanks for the ideas. I don't understand your second paragraph though, it doesn't seem applicable to my situation.

  4. #4
    bamboo45 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: After the first date

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaz View Post
    Thanks for the ideas. I don't understand your second paragraph though, it doesn't seem applicable to my situation.
    Yep, just ideas, you can come up with bunch of better yourself =)

    Second paragraph, you know that "presume attraction" attitude. Similar to that, just presume, if a girl doesn't respond positive, or not as positive as you wanted, just presume it isn't because of you.

  5. #5
    Jaz
    Jaz is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: After the first date

    Quote Originally Posted by bamboo45 View Post
    Yep, just ideas, you can come up with bunch of better yourself =)

    Second paragraph, you know that "presume attraction" attitude. Similar to that, just presume, if a girl doesn't respond positive, or not as positive as you wanted, just presume it isn't because of you.
    Haha I like that presume attitude. However, if you always presume it isn't because of you, then you aren't analysing areas where you did well/badly/could do better etc, and hence you prevent yourself from learning from any mistakes. Just a thought....

  6. #6
    bamboo45 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: After the first date

    I like to go with the -you can always come back attitude-
    Try a different angle by instinct/intuition or random one that worked before.

    I'm in nature over analyzing, so I've trained myself and still am training to apply the type of approach that this guy is in the video has (not the lyrics ) fun and only a bit annoying - only a tiny bit



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