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  1. #1
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Hi guys,

    So basically, I just met this girl not too long ago. For first couple weeks we talked a lot on the phone and by text and facebook and stuff and shed often randomly text me just bc she wanted to talk to me and she gave lots of signs that she was into me. We went on a date to a movie (ik not very inventive but the weather was bad and she wanted to go rly bad) she had a rly good time and laughed a lot and she said we should do it again. And now like a week later she doesnt seem to be very talkative with me like when i text her shes usually delayed in getting back and its usually pretty short responses and it just seems like shes suddenly not into me. Im not sure what to do so any help you guys could offer would be awesome. Note for whatever reason I just rly wasnt feeling the kiss on our date do u think I should have?

  2. #2
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going rly well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    An update:

    I invited her out to another date this week and she then proceeded to tell me she's super nervous about the whole thing (shes never been in a relationship before) and isnt rly sure if she wants a relationship bc shes so nervous about what could happen. How the hell do you guys think I should pursue this?

  3. #3
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Just tell her that you are willing to take it slow and that you just want to hang out with her.
    Also wait for awhile before you text her again. Ignore her for like a day and see if she texts you. If she does then you know she is thinking about you.

  4. #4
    SISRAHTAC is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Your problem, like so many other guys, is you didn't escalate. When a man doesn't escalate, the attraction can dissipate. With her, it seems the attraction lessened a little bit, but not enough for any major flake-age. Next time, work for an IOM (It's On Moment). While you're holding hands with her, start caressing them. If she pulls away, wait 5 minutes and try again. Basically, caressing each other's hands is a MUTUAL practice. Listen to her hands.

    Escalate non-verbally. Let your verbal game consist of you listening to her, which should be easy as girls absolutely love to talk. Remember, whoever is talking is the one seeking qualification. When you're listening, you should non-verbally escalate with a seductive look on your face (or even better a confident blank stare- almost as if you're staring deep into her being).

    Work to get her to a place where she says No. When she objects that is a cue
    for you to plateau the interaction a bit and wait for her to be ready to be escalated further. Fractionation is discussed by other PUAs, but as far as I understand it- fractionation is a built-in force in an interaction. If you are escalating correctly, you should come across some resistance. Remember to persist with respect- No still means No.
    Hope this helps!
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    Last edited by SISRAHTAC; 07-06-2011 at 02:38 AM.

  5. #5
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Thanks for the help . Im still sorta new at all rhis pua stuff so i still definitely need to work on my physical game. However, even when i tried to escalate sometimes she would respond and other times she would pull away. I now think I know the real reason why she wont just date me I think its because shes quite athletic (like hopes to make the olympics next year) and between all her training and university and everything else she has to do, a relationship might be a bit much. Also, I remember when we went our first date, her coach kinda raged at her bc she missed a practice to go to a movie with me. She then git rly upset avout the whole thing and thats why i think she is second guessing herself. What do u think I should say to maybe turn this around?

  6. #6
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Whats a good way i can initiate some physical contact with this girl? Like whats a way that i can grab her hand or something without making her uncomfortable?

  7. #7
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Quote Originally Posted by SISRAHTAC View Post
    Your problem, like so many other guys, is you didn't escalate. When a man doesn't escalate, the attraction can dissipate. With her, it seems the attraction lessened a little bit, but not enough for any major flake-age. Next time, work for an IOM (It's On Moment). While you're holding hands with her, start caressing them. If she pulls away, wait 5 minutes and try again. Basically, caressing each other's hands is a MUTUAL practice. Listen to her hands.

    Escalate non-verbally. Let your verbal game consist of you listening to her, which should be easy as girls absolutely love to talk. Remember, whoever is talking is the one seeking qualification. When you're listening, you should non-verbally escalate with a seductive look on your face (or even better a confident blank stare- almost as if you're staring deep into her being).

    Work to get her to a place where she says No. When she objects that is a cue
    for you to plateau the interaction a bit and wait for her to be ready to be escalated further. Fractionation is discussed by other PUAs, but as far as I understand it- fractionation is a built-in force in an interaction. If you are escalating correctly, you should come across some resistance. Remember to persist with respect- No still means No.
    Hope this helps!
    ________________
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    This post is nik approved.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  8. #8
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Thanks guys for the help but im worried it came a little late bc she says she doesnt want to date anyone...i think shes just saying this tho she doesnt rly feel it. Do u guys think that if i met up with her and rly tried to escalate she would positively respond or should i just pack it in?

  9. #9
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Woman: "I don't want to date anyone."

    Meaning: "No guy has piqued my interest to the point of even keeping my attention; the only guys who have come close turned out to be creepers. I'm lonely and hate it."
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  10. #10
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Things going really well with girl and first and then suddenly not

    Thanks dude. I think i really have a good understanding of why she suddenly started flaking. Our first date went well (even through i didn't do the best job escalating i gotta do a better job at that) and i think that might be the reason why she didnt text or talk to me. I tried just ignoring her for a day or two and she started texting me again but then we both got rly busy and haven't talked as much as i would have liked in the last couple weeks so i think she rly lost interest. But im hoping that seeing each other again with some physical contact and everything should make her change her mind. I'll report back and tell you guys how it went but thanks again for all the help, id be so lost without u guys.


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