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  1. #1
    linguist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Arrow Who else thinks I'm being a wussy?

    You'll find out why I think I'm just being a wussy in a minute, but first, please just give me a minute to justify myself...

    Trust me, this is more interesting than most of the cries for help on here, its a challenge and I promise I'll actually act on any advice you give me...just bear with me...

    I'm 21 and I've been trying to sort out my love life for like 3 years, actually, that's not quite true, I got a massive crush on a girl 3 years ago and have spent most of my time since then paralysed by fear trying to convince myself to do something about it.

    I find the whole thing infuriating, because I'm usually very confident about most aspects of life and just keep trying until I achieve whatever it is I want.

    For example, I started a business this year with my older brother and think nothing of selling products worth thousands of pounds (I'm in the UK) as a result of one conversation over the phone with people I've never spoken to before...that takes serious balls I'll tell you...but I can't pluck up the courage to talk to a girl!

    I've read pretty much everything there is about pickup and could probably recite the whole mystery method verbatim. Trouble is, I've done sh*t all with the information hahahaha.

    My main excuse for being a wussy is, as ashamed as I am to admit it, self-esteem issues.

    I really like who I am, I wouldn't want to be anybody else, but I have a neuro-muscular condition called Muscular Dystrophy that confines me to a wheelchair and I seem to have decided that it makes me undateable.

    You'd think that would be a reasonable limiting belief, but I'm pretty sure its complete bullsh1t for reasons you'll discover.

    I do have massive oneitis for the girl I mentioned earlier, but to be honest, I'm so fed up with it I just want to get it out of my system...if I asked her out and she laughed in my face I'd just be relieved rather than disappointed...

    Thing is, I don't think she would laugh at me lol.

    All the previous interactions I've had with her have been pretty good because, ironically, I've been so sh1t scared I've had to focus really hard to keep up a conversation.

    Mostly its just consisted of me teasing her relentlessly and being cocky-funny, which seems to work really well.

    I know her from university so we mostly interact in lectures and on one occasion about 18 months ago we had a full on, slightly flirtatious, mock argument in front of the whole class because I called her on some bullsh1t.

    I'd actually forgotten about it until my lecturer (who was present) reminded me. He seems to associate me with this girl as he always mentions her when he sees me.

    I have loads of other examples of stuff like that when I think back on it and actually it was always her who initiated a conversation.

    I was always careful about just being friendly because she seems to have a terrible habit of putting guys in the friend zone more often than I take a sh1t. One poor bloke in particular follows her round like a dog on a leash pretending to be her best friend...

    She's most definitely a HB10 by the way, a real one, not a fake breasted bimbo stripper (no offence to them though )

    Anyway, I would like to ask you guys for help because it's getting to be a bit of a last chance saloon thing as:

    -She's now finished university and will, as far as I know, be living a little way away.

    -I haven't spoken to her in a while because I deferred a year at uni so we lost contact a bit. She has messaged me on facebook a couple of times but has caught me off guard and I've come across as standoffish and bottled it.

    -I'd like to make the best shot possible at having a relationship with her but I'm not sure where to start. Then if it doesn't work I can move on without regret.

    -The only means of contact I have is facebook (wouldn't be that weird for me to message her but I don't want to look like I'm begging.)

    So my question is: what would you do in my situation?

    Thanks in advance guys

    Linguist

  2. #2
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Who else thinks I'm being a wussy?

    Maybe you've been a bit of a wuss so far but it sounds like if u play your cards right u can still get with this girl before she leaves. I totally understand where your coming from with the whole wheelchair thing. Im not in a wheelchair but i have cp and i walk sort of unusually bc of it and for the longest time i had difficulty overcoming fears related to that with women. Idk if it truly gives women a first bad impression but once u strike up some good attraction, that all seems to melt away. Plus, you seem to know this girl well enough that it isnt a huge deal. As for the whole gaming through facebook thing, i think it might be a good place to start for someone who's so worried they will fark up in person. Theres a whole section of this forum dedicated to facebook stuff but in general, i would just try to keep her interested. Like open to her with something opinion based as to strike up some good conversation that will fly under her rader bc she prolly wont realize your intentions (This is how i usually open anyway and it works for me, especially if it invokes their emotion in some way). If u need me to clarify with some examples i can post back but i dont wanna make this a massive post. Anyway otherwise remember to try to sort of push pull her (sort of say something that she will take as a compliment and then quickly neg her about something closely related). And always remember to demonstrate higher value (shouldnt be to hard for u from what i read). Keep all youve learned here in mind and it shouldnt be too hard.

    PS. When u do finally go on a date or whatever, rly build kino. Im recently learning myself what it means if u take the initiative to escalate early on rather then waiting for what most guys would define as that "perfect moment".

  3. #3
    linguist is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Talking Re: Who else thinks I'm being a wussy?

    Dude, that is awesome!

    Thank you so much!

    Some examples of opinion openers would be great please, I've got a good idea of the sort of thing that might work but some suggestions would really help.

    Would you suggest messaging her for her opinion or posting status updates?

    I've got her attention a few times before with pattern interrupts and weird crap as status updates, although none of those were deliberately aimed at her.

    Also, a specific question about DHV with my job:

    Would I be better off doing so in a subtle manner and playing it down, or should I be blatant about how awesome I think it is?

    I'm really, really passionate about what I do and I'd like to think my enthusiasm is infectious, but I don't want to come across too boastful, or even worse, boring and obsessive.

    It's great to hear from someone else with a disability; I know its only my limiting beliefs that make it an issue so having you confirm that is brilliant.

    Thanks again,
    Linguist

  4. #4
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Who else thinks I'm being a wussy?

    Just ask for her opinion through chat. Far more direct. She'll feel like oh he wants my opinion not all of fb's. There are tons of pua opinion openers out there so i'd take a google and see which ones would work well for u but heres one iv'e used lately with good success:

    So hey, I'm just about to go to the mall (I actually was, this is dhv as well) and i'm thinking of picking up a new shirt. I was thinking maybe something red but then i thought that might make me look a little to serious and mad. I'm a laid back person and I want my clothing to reflect that. What do u think?

    Might seem silly but i delivered it well and we got off to talking about her fav colours how they make her feel and little tidbits of fashion stuff (if she's more the girl whose meh on fashion don't use this). Anyway think of what might pique her intrest and ask it. Don't make it something she's prolly heard before, make it something that makes her think and engages her.

    As for your job, dont force it into the conversation. Mention it casually at first and she if she's interested. If she shows interest great if not, stop. If she seems captivated tho, keep going.

    You know I think once u get over that initial social barrier, you'll do great. Best of luck


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