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  1. #1
    Yakitori is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I want her back! but, don't want to mess it up

    my girlfriend and i are really close for about 2 years now. but, we do have arguments. well the last argument she told me she can't deal with a relationship right now because it is adding stress to the already stressful life she has right now. she does tell me she still loves me but, is uncertain about the future with me. she said i was smothering her. i gave her space and time i didn't contact her but, she ended up contacting me saying she can't live without me. i told her i don't want to be her friend and we're more than that.she said she doesn't know what she wants right now. not sure if that's because she wants to see what else is out there and have freedom to talk with other guys without having me to think about. or if it is just space that she needs. we are talking but, it's less now. she says she's busy and doesn't have time but i see her on social networking sites and such. and i have a feeling she's talking to more guys now and getting the attention i used to be able to give her when things were fresh. and she doesn't feel obligated to talk to me as much because we aren't together. i think she is keeping me around until she loses interest in me and her feelings go away. i do love her and i do want her. she did treat me well when were dating. i know she still has strong feelings for me. i am keeping myself occupied with working out and such but, still she is on my mind. should i just not contact her anymore and let her miss me? what should i do when she contacts me and asks to see me? i don't want what we do have to start fading away and i just become a friend and no longer an attraction to her. any insight would be much appreciated. thanks

  2. #2
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her back! but, don't want to mess it up

    My insight into how she's feeling is this:

    I've gotten in so many arguments with him lately that he's actually detracting from my life, not adding to it. I still like him but I feel like if I go back we will still have fights and I don't want that. However, I miss him bc without him i'm lonely and I hate it.

  3. #3
    Yakitori is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her back! but, don't want to mess it up

    so what should i do?

  4. #4
    pcguru111 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want her back! but, don't want to mess it up

    Well i'd prolly ask her to hang out somewhere you'll both enjoy and just really tell her how u feel and reassure her you aren't there to make her miserable but to enhance her life instead other then that just enjoy the time with her and have a good time.

  5. #5
    Sitfab's Avatar
    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want her back! but, don't want to mess it up

    If you want her back, take care of yourself first and foremost. Start fixing stuff that doesn't suit you very well or stuff that is not working for you anymore.

    For instance, go to the gym. It makes you feel good about yourself and boosts your confidence.

    Take on a diet of some sort and lose weight ( or just eat healthy, if you're not overweight/have a slight beer belly )

    Buy some new clothes, change your overall dressing style, get a new haircut. This will show you that you have changed for yourself, not for her.

    Then, contact her a month or so later. Be casual, fun and don't even think about getting back together. Just have fun. No hinting at a possible rekindling, nothing. Let her bring up this subject.

    You're free to date girls, so go dating. That will make you feel less anxious about getting back with her.


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