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  1. #1
    lioil is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Going out with classmate - advice?

    I am going to go see a movie with a classmate and with another couple. it is not an official "date" (the word never came up and it is only movie for now). The girl was more excited about the movie so she might also think it is just regular going out than a date.
    Another thing is I rarely see her at school and in auditoriums she sits with some other guys and i dont feel like stalking and go sit with them when i am already seated.
    I guess I am curious what some advice are in terms of this "unofficial date" - maybe go out for drink post movie with everybody? and how i can "see her more" than just call her. There is a study group coming up but is it too awkward to ask her to join especially it is at another friend's house? Also, if she brings ANY friends when I pick her up is it basically FAIL? And if we do end up in the car any good conversations i should bring up? And suggestions for what I should do to finish the night?

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    Drinks after is a good idea. I personally HATE movies as a date because you can't really talk during the "date".
    Regardless of what this is, date or not, you have an opportunity and it seems you are interested in her since you took the time to write it out on this forum.

    If you are picking her up, good. If you are meeting that couple there and just picking her up, thats even better. You got time alone to talk. Talk about what movie you are going to see? Make a joke about how you would rather be seeing Harry Potter. Make her laugh, it lowers her guards.
    If you are seeing harry potter, tell her you would rather see a Twilight movie (if that is actually true, I feel bad for you lol)

    Look how she reacts towards you. I mean, from the outside, it seems like it's a date. It all depends how it was approached upon you to see this movie. You never know, she actually might wish you would sit next to her in class and this is an awesome opportunity for her to actually talk with you. Don't be nervous or scared. Be confident, show her you're confident and better than the rest. Demonstrate Higher Value.

    If you really want to impress her, I know it is cheesey, but open up a car door for a girl. They freaking love it because it surprises the hell out of them. Then, when you get in the car, neg her in a joking manner.If she doesn't say thank you, tell her she was rude (in a joking manner).

    There are numerous and multiple things you can do. My best advice is be confident... tell yourself this.... She is here with me and another couple. She made the conscious decision to come out despite the fact that she knows its me, her, and another couple. You already got that foot in the door. Just remember you can do this. Use some kino. Lead her into the movie aisle with your hand behind her lower part of the back. If she has her arm on the arm rest, rest your hand on the rest and tell her "sorry, you have to share". If she takes her hand away and doesn't rest it on the arm rest with yours, take her arm, put it back in the arm rest, and tell her you were kidding but would like at least 10% of the room to lay your arm. It's just an excuse to touch her.

    See how she reacts to you.

    Going out for drinks later is awesome. You can get some talk time with her. Spend some one on one and the little rapport you can build in the movie, you can expand over drinks.

    You have to DHV to her. Make her feel you are mysterious, fun, interesting, and different.
    Last edited by Mr8Hyde6; 07-13-2011 at 10:46 PM.

  3. #3
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    Another bit of advice, when you do talk to her... ask things that make her continue talking, rather than one word answer questions. Ask for opinions, ask to elaborate.
    Example
    "Hey I got a question for you... I forget who I was talking about this to the other day but we got into a discussion about the saying, "I love you but I am just not in love with you." What the hell does that mean? I want a females input."

    It will have her go on for like 2 minutes about the difference.

    Its simple, easy, but it gets her talking. The more she is talking to you, the better it is.

    I remember back in college, a bunch of the people living in my dorm floor went out to a frat party. Everyone had respective dates that night except me and my one gal neighbor. She was an HB8. Nice rack, phenomenal ass, and cute face. I simply said... "well since everyone else has a date, I guess we have to pretend to be dates tonight, but no funny business. And I have to be home by 10pm". She agreed to be my "date" and we actually ended up dancing all night and made out. We then dated for 2 years lol, ended eventually, but yeah. Try throwing in something along those lines. Be like, "ok, so we don't make the other couple feel uncomfortable, we have to make them feel like we are on a date. They might be nervous because they like eachother so much so we have to show them that we are having a great time. So tonight, you will be my date and we will pretend we are so into eachother." What this does is it shows her that you are having fun with this situation, she can't really back out of it because if she does, shes being a bitch and awkward, and it shows you are just trying to have fun. It also makes her feel like "wait, what if I wanted this to be a date."

    Then, if you do go out for drinks, and you feel she was into you, she shows IOI's all the time, you can even throw in... "so how about a real date this time"

    What I did once at a bar was met this girl, tell her I wanted to take her on a first date and to meet me at the edge of the bar in 1 minute. She met me there, I bought her a drink, and said, well this is to our first date so when we meet outside this bar some other time, we wont feel that awkward first date... You could alter that to your situation as well.

  4. #4
    lioil is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    thanks for the long write up!
    Actually we are going to see Harry Potter lol... The conv basically went like this:

    Me:Hi XYZ, are you free saturday night?
    Her: yeah, what's up?
    Me: do you want to go see a movie together? my friend is going too.
    Her: maybe, what movie?
    Me: Harry potter just came out-
    Her: I love harry potter! yeah lets go see!
    .....

    couple more questions:
    1. does the fact that she sits with other guys in auditorium etc. means a negative? I mean unless we get matched in similar classes i will see her very rarely....

    2. Some of your suggestions on moves is interesting - she is asian so do you think I might be a bit "reaching" doing those things?

    3. I will definitely try to get some drinks after to just chat. If she says no I guess it can't be helped?

    4. Also, if she brings her friends with her like "my friends wanted to see this movie as well - hope you dont mind". Is this like a deal breaker especially if she brought guys?
    thanks!

  5. #5
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by lioil View Post
    1. does the fact that she sits with other guys in auditorium etc. means a negative? I mean unless we get matched in similar classes i will see her very rarely....

    2. Some of your suggestions on moves is interesting - she is asian so do you think I might be a bit "reaching" doing those things?

    3. I will definitely try to get some drinks after to just chat. If she says no I guess it can't be helped?

    4. Also, if she brings her friends with her like "my friends wanted to see this movie as well - hope you dont mind". Is this like a deal breaker especially if she brought guys?
    thanks!

    1) her sitting with other guys can mean nothing at all. It may just be they are friends. Or it can also mean she LOVES attention from guys so surrounds herself with plenty, but that tends to show she has some insecurity issues in herself.
    This also means that every single one of those guys might be competing for her, and you have to just DHV than them.

    2) I am not sure if any race/color/religious background might or might not have an impact on any of the suggested moves. Unless you know something about a cultural society that I do not, and unless she is like 100% hardcore into her culture and that culture prohibits touching someone's hand. This just sounds like you are overanalyzing it and are a bit nervous about it. Don't be.

    3) Depends on how she says no. If she says it in a sense she is tired or busy, suggest another time. If she seems like she is just not interested, do what I always say to my buddies, "on to the next one."

    4) If a girl brings along a bunch of guys and friends along with ya'll, then she didn't have the intention of making this a personal thing to her. If it is dudes, unless you got some game and tricks up your sleeve, I wouldn't waste my time. I find girls that hang out around with a lot of guys have a lot of insecurity issues. Now, unless they are really close male friends, it's different. But if they are just random guys who she just doesn't really know well, and she knows a lot of random guys, these kind of girls tend to be a little on the issues side. Not EVERY single one is like that so don't take this as fact, but from my own experience that is what I found.
    If it's a bunch of girls, I'd recommend on getting "close" to one of them. Use some moves on her, nothing drastic, but pay little attention to your target, but don't completely ignore her. It will make you DHV and make you look more desirable.

  6. #6
    lioil is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    i see... Well my friend and his female friend (they are not together but he taking her to seem like "double date") are a go for the movie and they are cool with some chatting/drinking after and have a couple of quiet places in mind. But I am not sure how "intimidating" this can be for my "date". She recently came to US - although her english is not bad but it can be a bit intimidating somewhat. I guess I don't want to make her feel isolated or uneasy speaking to my american friends - should I ask her to go somewhere alone or just roll with it and chalk it up as a "cultural experience" for her?

    Another thing, i rarely see her in classes except maybe exchange greetings in the hall way - I suppose I could always find her during lunch time but not sure if that becomes a bit stalkerish if i do too much. Suggestions on me letting her know i am interested in her more than just call her and ask her out because even doing that it becomes a bit annoying asking her out every weekend or something...
    Lastly, would a "how about next time we go out alone" be as good as "how about a real date next time"? it is less direct but it should get the point across....

    thanks!!

  7. #7
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by lioil View Post
    i see... Well my friend and his female friend (they are not together but he taking her to seem like "double date") are a go for the movie and they are cool with some chatting/drinking after and have a couple of quiet places in mind. But I am not sure how "intimidating" this can be for my "date". She recently came to US - although her english is not bad but it can be a bit intimidating somewhat. I guess I don't want to make her feel isolated or uneasy speaking to my american friends - should I ask her to go somewhere alone or just roll with it and chalk it up as a "cultural experience" for her?

    Another thing, i rarely see her in classes except maybe exchange greetings in the hall way - I suppose I could always find her during lunch time but not sure if that becomes a bit stalkerish if i do too much. Suggestions on me letting her know i am interested in her more than just call her and ask her out because even doing that it becomes a bit annoying asking her out every weekend or something...
    Lastly, would a "how about next time we go out alone" be as good as "how about a real date next time"? it is less direct but it should get the point across....

    thanks!!

    I would just roll with your friends. She probably is a little intimidated being from another country, but this also allows her to open up and be out with others. It will be your job to make her feel comfortable. Go with your friends, but also spend some one on one time with her. Joke with her, kid with her, etc.

    If you see her at lunch and sit next to her, how is it stalkerish? ask her, "do you mind if I sit with you?". More than likely she won't mind. You could use the, how about next time we go out alone instead of the real date if you want. It will do the job. Just build up that courage and just go for it.

    By her going out with you and the other two, you already are demonstrating higher value by bringing her out. She already probably is intimidated (which isn't a bad thing necessarily). A lot of girls are intimidated by my looks and build and whatever. I use it to my advantage actually. I know they are intimidated or nervous so it's easier to catch them in that corner, (metaphorically speaking).

  8. #8
    lioil is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    got it.... will update the situation after all done . Any last minute pitfall i should avoid? Since this is not an official date i shouldnt treat it like one?

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    I would kind of treat it like one at the same time, don't... Be nice, but not overtly like you two are officially on a date. Make her laugh, and be CONFIDENT. Demonstrate Higher Value to her.

  10. #10
    lioil is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out with classmate - advice?

    well she called last night and said she might be too busy to go (getting car etc.) but not a definitely no yet since there might be a chance she be done by then. Should I act any different if she:
    1. blows me off
    2. able to come?


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