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  1. #1
    Duster is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Sh$t Tests & Re-framing battles! Help please

    Ok, I need some help guys. I'm confused.

    Quick bg. I've known this girl for 3 years. We sometimes hang out with the same circle of friends, and we sometimes jog together. When we first met, we were flirty, bantered, made out, and almost slept together. There's been nothing ever since, and we pretty much go through phases of hanging out a bunch of times within a couple of weeks (always in groups except for jogging), and then (for no reason) stop contact for a couple of months, repeat.
    Recently, I've had the following happen, and I'll say what I did, but would like to know what it all means, and what I should have done. Cuz I'm confused. Thanks.

    1) we meet at a social function with friends. While in a 3-set with her and 2 other girls (they're all 7's), this girl tells me to "lower my voice". I didn't hear her at first, and she repeated it again, very sternly, almost like a reprimand.
    I was like wtf? I ignored it after pausing, but I don't feel that worked. It felt nasty and like there was motive behind it. What should I have done? What does it mean, if anything?

    2)The other day I was 5 minutes late for our jog, and she sent me a text asking when my birthday was so she could buy me a watch. It appeared to me that this was a lighthearted jab/joke, so I texted back my birthday. When I arrived, she tried faintly to make an issue of it, but then it was quickly dropped as we ran.

    TODAY, I'm outside her apartment, she's late, and I text "likewise...a watch for you too." Obviously, I'm joking and just being playful, and that's how I played it when she came outside...BUT she comes out seriously pissed!?! She's says, "that's not how you greet someone in the morning", and then calls me an asshole. I ignore it, hoping it'll go away and is a put on, because really, I can't believe somebody would get as upset as she was. It was serious drama, and I knew this was some kind of test, and while I didn't know what to do, I knew accepting her drama was not it. So finally, I acknowledged her and said, "You're joking right?" , and she said NO. I laughed it off, hoping she'd lighten up, but it didn't happen-- she held her frame...and then we started running. What could I have done? Also, more importantly, what do you do if the girl doesn't let go of her frame easily? I think I blunder because I'm fearful that if I make a serious attempt to reframe, she won't budge, and I'll feel more like an ass.

    Also, the trend I see with these two instances and in others not mentioned, is an effort on her part to make it seem like I'm doing something wrong. She's always doing that now actually.

    Now what surprises me the most probably is that I can't believe how textbook this chick is! It strikes me as almost unbelievable, and maybe that is why I fail. I think she's trying to start something, but I'm completely lost.

    Thanks,

    -- Duster

  2. #2
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sh$t Tests & Re-framing battles! Help please

    Dude. That girl sounds like she is a drama queen, and gets off on bossing people around.
    That is just my opinion from that story.

    Also. She obviously can dish it out, but she can't take it.

    Sounds like a headache of a girl to date man.

  3. #3
    Duster is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sh$t Tests & Re-framing battles! Help please

    You're right, but 2 things. She's really only bossy to me from what I can see, and while she is a drama queen, I would use the word "bratty" in this instance, again, it's still mostly to me.
    The problem is, when she's fun, SHE'S FUN!

    Thanks,

    -- Duster


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