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  1. #1
    Yeff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Does she want me to approach her?

    The last few times i went out i noticed something odd.
    Every time i come into this club i order something to drink. bump my head to the music a bit and look around a bit to see what kind of girls are in the club. Once i see a nice girl and she sees mee (ususlly accross the room) i give here a big smile (i don't even know if it looks flitatious or not) and go on with my business.
    Even tough i've been told that i look good i'm a verry shy guy and have a hard time talking to girls... especially starting a conversation and even approaching them XD
    anyways i noticed a few times that when i gave a girl one of my looks they eventually end up in the same cornere as where i'm standing. usually with a GF... Is this kindof an invitation or just sheer coincidence?
    I really need to know XD
    what is the best way to handle this situation?
    I'm really socially awkward at times.

  2. #2
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Why do you care if she wants you to, initially? Even if she didn't want you to (which is unlikely), approach her and say or do something. Then, we can help you with the fun stuff!
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  3. #3
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Just approach her. Approach anyone, who cares who it is or what vibe you are getting. There were numerous times in my older days, when I had little confidence to approach, that I would stand there wondering if that girl was feeling me or not. All night she would be eyeing me up and looking at my direction. Then she would make her way to basically 5 feet from me, and I was such a chump I never said anything because I didn't know if she was opening up to get me to talk to her.

    Do NOT waste your time by thinking of the what if's, or the consequences or circumstances behind it. If she smiles back, approach. Heck, even if she doesn't even look at you, that doesn't mean she didn't notice you. So go get them, approach that girl or group because you will regret not doing it.

  4. #4
    Yeff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Thnx for the tip this is usefull

  5. #5
    Pokerbaby is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    My advice for clubbing.

    Learn to Dance.

    Nobody really has "two left feet". Believe me, the idea is BS. You can use Youtube to learn a few simple dance moves that look relatively good.

    Even having one or two half-decent moves will distinguish you from 90% of the guys at the club. Most of these guys are AFC's who grab drinks, stand against a wall, stare at girls and don't really do anything. They dream that by some miracle women will come up to them and initiate. Unless you are lucky enough to be an extremely good looking guy, women will not initiate conversations with you.

    Learn to Dance

    The attention you recieve will be amazing. It will boost your confidence and help with your overall game. Women are very intuitive and a lot of attractive women that you won't see, will come up to you and start dancing with you.

  6. #6
    jaicrew's Avatar
    jaicrew is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokerbaby View Post
    Learn to Dance

    The attention you recieve will be amazing. It will boost your confidence and help with your overall game. Women are very intuitive and a lot of attractive women that you won't see, will come up to you and start dancing with you.
    right on, So i was sitting there minding my own business last night, and this at least 40+ yr old lady comes up next to me bumps into my chair, apollogises, then stands facing me for like 5 minutes waitng for me to say something to her.... we'll I'm 27 and not into the old vajJ. then she bumps my chair 2wice more, I move, she comes over to where I am now sitting, sits down by the end and just smiles at me..... The moral of this story is.... Do you think she was into me ? yes, most likly or I reminded her of someone she knew when she was way younger.

    Either way it doesn't matter, what matters is I've been told by numerous HB's that I'm a hot guy, and the best approaches I get are from old ladies or tiny boppers.... so if you ever think there is even the slightest bit of interest, or not go and talk to them, it is the only way, and the worst thing that can happen is they say no, doesn't matter man, is it worth 9 no's to get 1 yes from a HB ? Just don't go face them for 5 long minutes 1/2 a foot away and hope they'll say something to you, cause I can tell you..... It's a disconcerting feeling to say the least.

  7. #7
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pokerbaby View Post
    My advice for clubbing.

    Learn to Dance.

    This was discussed here: http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...s-dancing.html
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  8. #8
    Pitch is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    Yeff,
    This is where the 3 second Rule comes in to play. The main thing is you need to start working on your inner-game. I would suggest taking Style's 30 day challenge or if you are tight on money for a week or two and want to get started, ask a PUA or mPUA on exercises to help get over this. The best thing is learn an opener. Any opener. Something. I have used opener's such as the "Two Part Kiss Opener" (which is extremely easy to remember) simply to prove to others that it DOES WORK. Once you have an opener down, you will begin to feel a little more confident because you will have an idea of what to say when you get there. Don't stress yourself out with what will you say next, or ideas like "what if she has a boyfriend." Just pick something to say before you leave the house. As soon as you walk into the bar, get your drink, and find your set. 3 second rule go. Open her, use your time constraint to get out..(I better get back to my friends I am sure they are dying to hear how you don't think it's cheating). Thank her again and kindly leave. No. This does not get you a number close, an F Close, or anhything like that. But you will feel pretty damn good about yourself, and it's a step. I challenge you to open 3 sets one night this week. Use the same simple opener and I garauntee you one of those sets you will be able to sit down and have a convo. Also this week, start working on your inner-game. You sound like a cool guy, it's time for you to let others see how cool you are.

    Pitch
    To All Of You About To Sarge, I Salute You.

  9. #9
    nik's Avatar
    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Does she want me to approach her?

    This is an exercise I use and have posted in the past. On a gun board, I posted it and it got ravenous responses.

    When you go grocery shopping find a checkout stand with a female worker. Why? Because you like females. They are your favorite. Talk to her. Try to ask her something relevant to her that you think has a likelihood she hasn't heard it that day, week, month. ie, No weather, big sports events, major current events. If you get stuck looking for a topic, look at the magazines for inspiration, her jewelry, shoes, purse, whatever. It is easier if she is old, fat, or ugly. Three for three is easiest.

    Now, that should be easy enough.

    Next, when ANY female comes up behind you (this is important) and starts putting her groceries on the counter, bring her into the conversation or start one with her.

    Making a comment on a product she is buying that you can give a favorable review to is a great topic. "MMMMMMM!! Zingers! I love those! Have you had them before?"

    I chose this example because women worry they should not be buying "junk food" as they are all fat when they look in their mirror. With my example comment, you will be saying to her, "I, too, am a rebel who likes junk food and you should enjoy them. After all, you are a fit woman who has no cause to worry about her weight. Eat those Zingers, you sex kitten."

    Why do you speak to the woman behind you and not in front?

    You will leave before her. It is better for a person's self esteem to be the one leaving, instead of the one being left. It makes you in control of how long you two (or three+) speak. Plus, you will most likely leave on a good note for both of you, enlightening both of your days and making you less needy.

    Many men have so few good encounters with women they become obsessed and needy when one is going well. So, they stay in it too long and make it bad; like they are used to. This will help you become comfortable making a good situation and leaving before you have time to screw it up.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.


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