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  1. #1
    rom9 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default damage control - girl flirted with guy while dancing

    Hi guys ! This is really bothering me so I need some help. I have been gaming this girl for a while and all was going smooth till yesterday. We enjoy each others company and have a lot of fun and it was going in the right direction. However today when we went dancing, I was a little jealous when she (as i think) flirted with some guy in the dance lessons. I was taking it easy but I was a little cold after that incident. Now I think it was probably uncalled for and I want to make damage control asap. Is the best way for this is just to tell her I are sorry for being a jerk and must have not behaved like I did and ask if she can forgive me. OR is there any other way. Help please, guys thanks a lot.

  2. #2
    GiovanniP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: damage control !!

    I think she has put to the Nice Guy Frame.
    Damage control??What the heck is that?Get rid the jealousy feeling!
    First you have to decide what you really want from her. Do not be shy about your desires.Decide what you want from her and act accordingly

    .1.Do you want to hook up with her twice per week?
    2.Do you want her not to break your balls?"
    3.Do you want her to go down on you?
    4.Do you want to talk with her 20 times per day on the phone?
    5.The next time you go out with her do you want to f****k her?
    6.Make her to be clear what she wants from you and why she is going out with you?

    Knowing what you really want the only think that remains is to know if this woman can give you what you want

    If you overlook the aspect of YOUR desires in order to continue to get her attention then you will NEVER going to have what you really want

  3. #3
    Godfather's Avatar
    Godfather is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: damage control - girl flirted with guy while dancing

    Stay alpha as best as you can!
    an alpha male does not get jealous and angry, read up on how to be an alpha male, because if you go to her begging for an exception of your apology, just try and keep your cool and say you want to make it up to her by taking her somewhere... that way it is apologizing for the way you acted but an alpha way

  4. #4
    Bandit's Avatar
    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: damage control - girl flirted with guy while dancing

    Why the hell would you apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. There are times when I'm cold to a girl just cause I feel like it. Sure, I may be an ass, but it makes them appreciate when I'm not. Never apologize unless you really screwed up, then you say "I'm sorry that thing's happened this way, now what can I do to fix it?"

    In your situation, if she flirts with another guy, you walk up to two girls and start flirting. You don't need her, you've got plenty of other options. Let her know she is by no means the only girl in your life. It's called Preselection. Look it up. (Seriously, the search tool is there for a reason.) Don't let one girl get under your skin, and most importantly stay non-reactive.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  5. #5
    Konnect Life is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: damage control !!

    All these commands for people to get rid of natural human emotions or stop feeling a certain way... it's like people don't have permission to be human anymore. How do you stop a natural human feeling and emotion from occurring? If you purchased an expensive car with all your savings money and some kid threw a rock putting a small dent in the car and I told you "stop feeling upset / get rid of that anger emotion - you're not supposed to be that way," what would you think? It's one thing to say have self control, but to expect people to operate like a machine and turn on/off feelings by command or suggest they aren't supposed to be / feel that way is a completely different thing.

    As far as (not) doing anything wrong, I'm sure that most dating coaches and PUA's would disagree with the fact that you didn't do anything wrong because you did break one of the rules by going cold (or reacting) based on the fact you saw her doing things with someone else. I don't know what to tell you other than to just pick up as if nothing happened the next time you see her. I simply do not react or show negative emotions to women (but this does not mean I'm operating like a machine and have the supernatural ability to shut off my subconscious emotions - I'm simply just making sure that those emotions do not slip out and affect my actions outside of this forum) so I don't know how to help someone fix a situation where they messed up by reacting to something a girl did. One thing I would NOT do is apologize (unless you are an expert at doing this in a VERY proper manner).

    That's the only thing I can recommend. Go on as if nothing happened. If you really want to do something (although I probably wouldn't recommend this), make an effort to show that "cold side" of you sporadically throughout your future interactions with her so she can think of you as naturally and unpredictably just being that way sometimes rather than her continuing to associate that side of your personality with jealousy. This way she will not be able to know exactly what she's doing that affects you! There are some people who are sometimes one way at one time and then sometimes another way at other times. Mix up your "somewhat cold" and "non cold" emotions and she will not be able to tie your actions to any particular incidents...


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